Now I will make no bones that I am a bit of a royalist.
I don't go to the lengths of some who collect cheap plates from the Sunday supplements which are embossed with tawdry photos of the Queen Mum, but I would wave my Union Jack with some pride if old Queeny drove past in her limo to visit William and Kate, who actually now live down the coast a ways.
I enjoy reading the Queen's New Year Honours list (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12090365) It's a bit like a "posh" Oscar ceremony where a dinnerlady from a comprehensive school in Barnsley can receive the same award and recognition as say the likes of Annie Lennox and God forbid even knackered old Burt Kwouk got something ( a fact that did throw me just a little)
Anyhow I was thinking about all this when out at dawn "toilet training".
Now my, cough...........cough...... "ablutions" are shall we say...firming up nicely...so I can concentrate on the knotty problem of Bulldog incontinence.
We are not winning the war against dollops of poo on the kitchen floor at the moment.
Constance has got the hang of leaving her cage and bed (good) but has not quite understood the finer points of elimination issues.
Every morning I take all four dogs out. And every morning when the terriers are sniffing and weeing and weeing and sniffing, Constance will find a bizarre interest in some inanimate object or other and will stand in a dreamy half consciousness type state, looking at it with her interested little piggy eyes..
This morning it was a metal sculpture of a bird sitting in the rockery of the garden which caught her attention, and as the rest of the dogs sat around like the bored yobs out of West Side Story Constance crept over to the bird grumbling quietly to herself and sat looking at it for an age!.
Now I have tried every trick in the book to divert her attention back to toilet training...special toilet commands.....big praises when the smallest pee finally appears........I have even resorted to the odd quick pee myself (Thinking that a bit of roll play (and urine smell) may allow her to mirror my behaviour) but I have curtailed this potentially arrestable activity as I was nearly caught peeing against the hydrangea last night when neighbour Terry took his own dogs out for their final walk!
But I guess it is a case of teaching an old dog new tricks......
Like anything,it will all take some time.
So It is New Year's Eve!...Even though we are both not firing on all cylinders Chris and I are off to my sister Janet's house for drinks and nibbles tonight...I am not a fan of New Year's Eve celebrations
Happy New Year, John. Hopefully Constance will learn to "go" outdoors in 2011. Just like I hope my Sudanese cat will learn to just be a cat and walk about in the garden in the New Year. Blessings and greetings. Jo
ReplyDeleteGood Luck with the toilet training, hope your own bowels are better! Happy New Year. PS Ive sent you an email xxx
ReplyDeleteBert Kwouk! Must be 'for services to light entertainment as being the standard oriental chappie in everything since 1959'.
ReplyDelete...have an enjoyable evening.
ReplyDeleteWho needs the TV when they could live next to you. My dog, Shelby used to get distracted as well but I would point my finger and say 'go make a sissy' and she would turn back around and give it another go. Maybe reward her with a side of beef when she does well?
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!!
I wonder if your role play should work and she started standing on her hind legs to pee. That would be a sight for your neighbour if he caught you stood side by side!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
May the New Year bless you with copious amounts of toilet tissue, paper towels, and air freshener.
ReplyDelete...What Grouchy said! Plus good health.
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely hilarious. I truly enjoy reading your posts. We had attention problems with our Frenchies, but they would eventually do their "business" outside. Good luck to you in the New Year. May you find the answer to your dilemma!!
ReplyDeleteStaci
My goodness, I was under the impression that Constance was an older dog - is she an older puppy? How old is she? I wish you great potty training in the new year!
ReplyDeleteI do hope you and Chris are feeling well enough to fully enjoy your evening of celebration! I, myself, will be going to bed in the old year and wake up in the new. Old fuds, like me, can't seem to stay up late enough to welcome in the new year!
Who needs an OBE, an MBE or a knighthood when you've already got a Laughing Horse Award? With regard to modelling behaviour for Constance to follow, let's hope she doesn't travel to Sheffield by train and get pissed as a Tory MP at Kenwood Hall!
ReplyDeleteAll the best for the new year sir.
sharon
ReplyDeleteconstance is an ill trained 3 years old
x
glad to hear you're on the mend John and congrats on winning the award, well deserved. All the best to you and yours for 2011. Kathy
ReplyDeleteSounds like she's making progress, slow but sure. Glad you're feeling better. Have a good time at the party (in spite of yourself) and may you have the Happiest of New Years.
ReplyDeleteJO,DIANE,"TOM",GAIL,DAVID,MOUSE,NANCI,STACI,PUD,SHARON,KATHY,LOUISE and New Guy GROUCHY
ReplyDeleteTO TO EVERYONE OUT THERE IN the BLOGLAND either!
have a peaceful night
x
We have pee pads for the grandogs when they come with their owners.
ReplyDeleteIt's just easier and better.
Enjoy your post, have a great 2011..ta ta for now from Iowa USA
Happy New Year John! Not a fan either and will be in bed (how exciting!)
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed for Constance's continued potty training andit's a Happy New Year for you all xx
ReplyDeleteJohn, hope the toilet training goes better and you don’t get caught by the neighbors :) Enjoy a wonderful evening with your loved ones and most of all-CONGRATULATIONS on your wonderful blog award. That is so exciting and most deserved. Happy New Year Friend!
ReplyDeleteEven being an American I am a "real" royalist. Can hardly wait for the wedding of William and Katherine.
ReplyDeleteHave a safe and Happy New Year.
I quite like Queenie myself!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year to you and your loved ones and all your feathered and furred friends.
My lady had a little difficulty training six year old Ting-a-Ling to go potty outdoors. She had been a puppy mill dog for five years and put that with Peke personality and Ting just didn't get why she should go out in the YARD to tinkle..or other things.
ReplyDeleteMy lady kept taking her out and praising her when she did a potty outdoors and sometimes had to put her on a leash and walk her around because Ting would race to the back steps and want to go back in. Time and time again they would do this. Took almost a year but Ting has it now!!! Weee hooo. Good luck to you and Constance.
Hope Constance catches on soon. Happy New Year and have fun tonight.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year to you and yours.
ReplyDeletexxx
Lightly rolled up newspaper - The Telegraph will do - and a snap over the muzzle immediately when she poos inside and put her outside for five minutes. She'll get the idea - Skinner had a lot going for him in behavioural conditioning !
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, to you - I'm going back to bed 'cos i got no sleep last night with all the neighbourhood festivities in full flight until 3.30am!
Methinks Constance has trained you! Good luck with that.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Royal dishes - I love the plate I have! My Mom gave it to me many years ago - it's squarish with gold trim, a commemorative to the Royal visit to Canada in 1939. King and Queen in the center, with tiny photos of Elizabeth and Margaret in each corner.
A very happy - and healthy - 2011 to you guys and all the critters.
Nancy in Iowa
Happy New Year to you, Chris and the fam John. We stayed home and toast arounded 10pm and conked out!!
ReplyDelete