It deserves a blog entry all of its own...and is , I think, a beautifully written piece of "self"...hope he does not mind
When I lived in Sheffield, the barber who used to cut my hair (an Italian guy about the same age as me) used to press my shoulders down firmly with his hands as he wrapped the short black cape around my neck and fingered its edges beneath my collar. It approached sensuality (although, of course it was not) and, admittedly (and quiet sadly) I miss the precision of that three-weekly contact.
When you’re rarely touched, you remember each occasion in intimate detail: the most banal of contacts (the dry, scrubbed hand of the supermarket checkout operator; the glance of the young Pakistani guy who sells you a ticket on the train; the grasp of my Father’s hand as he leaves, recalling the physicality of a mythical childhood). Fleeting moments; brushes of falling autumn leaves.
Touches, hugs, even handshakes are so important. So many people don't touch any more, everyone needs it, not just that precious new baby or the precocious child that you pat. I suppose some think of it as invading someone else's space, or is perverted in some way.
ReplyDeleteI have heard that to be healthy you need so many hugs a day. (I have heard different numbers with this old wives tale, but I don't believe it to be a tale)
Beautiful, Nigel… Reading this, *I’m* touched.
ReplyDelete(And your post was pretty good as well, John!)
Rhonda and I make a point of giving each other a 'hug' several times a day - particularly when one is feeling frustrated at the way some event is unfloding, or, when the other one is doing a laboious task. Just a 'reassurance' that the other is there and appreciates them.
ReplyDeleteJohn, that is beautiful and it is so true. I work with geriatric patients in nursing facilities. Some never have a visitor darken their door. They are lonely and to take a few minutes to rub lotion on their hand or give them a big hug means the world. Everyone needs human touch.
ReplyDeleteAmy
That was a beautiful thought. I can't wait to put my hands back into the dirt. :O) Mal
ReplyDeleteInteresting response to an interesting post.
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting my blog and taking the time to leave such a kind comment. I've enjoyed looking round yours. You have a wonderful assortment of poultry.
Beautifully said! Hello John. I've thought a lot about your earlier post and I'm very grateful that I am married to a gentle man who always holds my hand no matter where we go. That touch is so important and I think it's one of the things that keeps us close. We even hold hands watching TV! I know...sappy isn't it LOL! Great posts. Have a wonderful Tuesday.
ReplyDeleteMaura :)
Blogger ate my comment from earlier today. Oh well. Read Nigel's whole comment & agree.It's a shame that there are those who would exploit a kind gesture and turn it into sexual harassment, or worse. I sent a thankyou note to our young pastor after Mother's Day this year. What was I thanking him for? For giving me a hug while wishing me a happy Mother's Day. Patrick was down in Phoenix and I was alone, so that hug meant alot to me. With as much as 6 weeks in between when we are together (while I'm up here)I hadn't realized how much one misses the touch of another human. Of course I have my sweet pooches, but it's not the same. Thanks, now I miss Pat more than usual!!!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! You guys both really capture the essence of how vulnerable we all are to isolation and loneliness. My husband once told me the story of a terrible ski accident he had when he was 17 years old (his leg hit a tree trunk crosswise going 70 mph.) The ski patrol couldn't give him any pain meds while moving him off the mountain, without knowing the nature and extent of the injury so he had to just grit his teeth and endure. He said the only thing that got him through the ordeal was one of the young men in the ski patrol took off his glove and held his hand against his cheek the whole way out. He still remembers desperately clinging to that single beacon of warmth and touch like it was the only thing left in existence. We're all so incredibly important for one another to have and hold. Thanks for this exquisite reminder, John.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to say in my last comment that in france there is quite a lot of touching. Everybody you meet will either shakes hand with you or faire les bis. Normally only twice but some places you kiss 4 times. At least this way you have human contact with people on a regular basis. Whenevr I go back to the Uk it seems strange not to shake hands and kiss people you meet.
ReplyDeleteThe family are used to it now, so we always kiss, but before we moved to France we didn't really touch when we met.
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