It was with great sadness that I listened to the news that two young brothers aged only 10 and 11, have been sentenced to an indefinite period of detention after their prolonged and sadistic attack on two 9 and 11 year old victims.It was reported at length, that these two boys had sustained a lifetime of physical and psychological abuse by toxic parenting, and I found the explanation of their violent behaviours by a child psychology expert, illuminating and ever so slightly hopeful.
She explained ( and I apologise as I have forgotten her name), that childrens' brains are literally changed by the the abuse they suffer,( physical changes to the frontal lobe) and the only punishment that these damaged children require is "sustained periods of affection coupled with robust and consistent supervision".....she concluded quite eloquently that then, and only then could the damage to these children be effectively reversed.
Not rocket science to be sure, but it is a welcomed comment of sanity at a time when people are baying for these two little boys to be locked away.
There are always going to be "toxic" families, indeed in my professional career, I have come across so many fragile and damaged individuals that I couldn't count them all, but what I do believe, is that it is better to remove these children from parents who shouldn't be caring for a goldfish let alone another human being. As Judge Judy states, these parents are "fully cooked", and in many cases are beyond the help of talented therapists.,....their children however are barely "half cooked" and therefore have a chance to develop normally if helped intensively .....perhaps the fear that paralyses social services to act and remove kids from the home, should be encouraged to be put on the back burner by all of us.....I say get the kids out and away safe......into homes that love, respect and affection is normal and not just something that can be watched in a quiet moment of a pirate dvd!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/south_yorkshire/8473978.stm
that's just awful, some people should never have kids........
ReplyDeleteGill in Canada
Hello John
ReplyDeleteI found your blog at Kim of Golden Pines and must sya this is a very thought provocking post. Have to say I know a lot of people don't but I agree with you that children should be removed from such parents unfortunatley authorities these days think the reverse.
What was the outcome of the case years ago where the 2 boys took that little one from a shopping centre - were they the result of that sort of upbringing?
Take care
Cathy
I agree with you and the therapist. Love, care and supervision will help these children recover. But where are the people who can supply those qualities I think one of the reasons children are left in bad situations is because if they are moved the new situation is not always that much better or might be worse. In this case it sounds like any move would have been an improvement.
ReplyDeleteIt's one of those damned if you do damned if you don't situations.
ReplyDeleteThe papers are full of headlines screaming about monster social workers snatching kids, until something happens and then they are screaming about why didn't anyone do anything.
An overly simplistic statement I know, but I know i wouldn't work in child protection for all the money in the world.
cathy
ReplyDeleteI think these cases are often worse as there are two protagonists involved, I think it is termed the lerner and loeb syndrome, where two individuals working "together" cause more damage and abuse than any one individual acting alone..
as the the Bulger case (I think you are referring to) THE BOYS (NOW MEN) involved we removed from their families and now are apparantly law abiding members of their new communities
dan. thanks for posting