The Great Escape

We have this 1930's postcard stuck on the fridge! and boy did I wish that the pig enclosure followed these four simple rules!
Last night, just before I was to drive to Llandudno to meet up with Chris, I raced around the field locking up the turkeys, ducks and chicks. Hazel had agreed to come round later to lock the hens up, so after a bit of racing around , I was good to go!
Or so I thought!
Just as I was walking back up to gate, I heard a burst of hen clucking from behind me and Gladys and Nora pushed themselves through a hole in their fencing and shot past grunting and squealing! Nora dropped kicked the hen fencing and trotted over to the hen feeder to bolt down huge mouthfulls of layers pellets while Gladys, excited at her new found freedom, galloped back and forth in piggy hysteria.
Now, for those who don't know, pigs are notoriously difficult to round up; they need to be "guided" and coxed rather than herded and prodded back into their quarters, so after 20 sweaty minutes, I was no nearer returning them to their home.
It was time for more drastic action when I spied two passersby walking their dog in the lane and called to them to help me. To be fair both of them (two ladies in their late sixties), gamely agreed to lend a hand, and I asked the less robust woman to guard one path next to the allotments, to prevent the pigs from running in circles.
She looked a little nervous, so I "armed" her with a lid from the compost bins.
"What do I do if the pigs come my way?" she worriedly asked
"Look fierce!" I replied!
I gave the other lady (who I found out later was called Anne) a dustbin lid and we slowly cornered both pigs in my lowest vegetable patches, where they had chomped their way through some baby sweetcorn and parsnip tops.
After a bit of hard work and a bit of shouting,and dustbin lid pushing, we managed to get Gladys back into her pen and after waving a bowl of pasta at Nora (I had cooked some for Susan who is still not too well), we managed to get her in too, but the whole exhausting, messy experience had lasted 45 minutes!. The ladies looked a little fraught but somewhat exhilarated and after thanking them and fixing the fence I managed to drive to meet up with Chris and we had a nice meal out!
Poor Hazel!,
My rudimentary repairs to the fence failed soon after I left and Hazel (who is the size of Audrey Hepburn) was left with two escapee pigs when she called in to lock the hens up an hour later!
Bless her! without help, she gamely tried to get the girls back, and an hour later she was still battling away.....
This morning, all I have been doing is patching up the fence holes!
Animals are therapeutic? pah!!!!
Hazel and I are off to the cinema later.....my treat me thinks