I got quite sunburnt today, I decided to ignore my back pain and get on with my list of jobs outside, I have cleaned windows, mowed the lawn and weeded the front garden. I have also strimmed the field and cleaned out the pigs latrine as well as barrow loaded chicken manure from the hen houses to a purpose made manure heap (complete with wood borders to stop the hens from digging it out)......I am typing this on my new netbook (my Birthday gift from Chris albeit three days early) and know that I stink to high Heaven.Repetitive jobs such as digging and strimming allows the mind to wander and today I have been thinking about support!
Yesterday I was thanked for supporting someone who had been going through a stressful health scare. I didn't do a great deal - a few phone calls, a potted plant, a knowing "look" perhaps ,just enough to be of some small help, and this got me to thinking about a time when I found supporting a friend almost impossible to do.
10 years ago a close female friend of mine was rushed into hospital suffering from some vague neurological symptoms. She was frightened and distressed, and as her condition slowly deteriorated I found that I was totally incapable of supporting her effectively. Friends and colleagues rallied around with visits and kinds words, whilst I called into the hospital a couple of times and remained ever so slightly distant.
In hindsight I think I realised just how serious my friend's condition actually was and I presume that my only coping mechanism then was one of denial. The guilt of not being "able" to provide a friend's support remains with me to this day, and strangely I even find it hard to remember the entire scenario of events of that time... I would have liked the opportunity of discussing this with my friend but sadly we lost contact just before we moved to Wales
It is weird what you think of when your minds wanders isn't it? It is also interesting what you "choose" to remember.
Perhaps I had just too much sun.....Albert and Nora(below) had the best idea...they slept most of the afternoon
Albert, asleep in the Sun
Nora, asleep standing in the shade
I hope you're hydrating properly with all that sun! Your experience (10yrs ago) was just one more thing to build who you are John. It's hard to imagine anyone who is in the nursing profession who isn't a giver...with the exception of Nurse Ratchett that is. You fit the model as caregiver/selfless person totally. We're all lucky to call you friend.
ReplyDeleteNora and the kitty have the right idea! I'm in Sandpoint right now and sure to come home to a mess---I left HOootie the terrible alone in the cabin and put BabyRocketDog in the kennel outside. Should have done the opposite, but it's too late now. Gotta go. More later. Be well!
You have pigs too - lucky you. It is funny how in age your mind replays the past. At 45 this has been happening to me as well. Only instead of looking at the reruns with sadness, anger or guilt, somehow I can look at the whole situation from an outsiders perspective. This has been like a gift for me allowing for self forgiveness. In other words, how i perceived my reality was only in reaction to larger things that were going on. It totally is weird to still feel like a girl and be an old woman, to long for a life of a girl and relish the peace that comes with age. We are such little characters in such a large story. Thanks for sharing and letting me share, peace for all.
ReplyDelete