I am 46 going on 47

Rose's comments on one of my previous blogs about how at 45 she has reviewed with a certain amount of peace, her present and her past got me to thinking about decisions made and past experiences.

I think when you are in your mid forties, you reach a certain plateau in your life. You know who you are, you understand what makes you "tick" and there is a certain acceptance of "self" that perhaps was not always present when you are hurtling through your thirties.

Those adults that dominated your life when you were a child, for the most part now have died or have become frail. Dear friends have fought ill health and bereavements of their own and people close have experienced the worries of middle age wear and tear, which is often difficult to cope with as it reminds you that you are actually getting older!

Being 47, and living the lifestyle we have chosen has brought with it some problems but for the most part it had brought with it a certain peace , slowness of pace (which is certainly different to being busy) and a certain contentment.

So what have I learnt after nearly a half century on this strange planet?

I have learnt that family and friends (my urban family) mean everything. I take them and Chris for granted but now and then realise that life can be very cruel and fickle on occasion, and realise the need to celebrate them when I have the chance.

My "new" in- law family have a special place in my affections as my "real" family, and new friends dovetail neatly into my time as the old. The only thing that I do regret is that I cannot always see everyone as often as I would like.

I have learnt that life is not as exasperating as it once was. Perhaps I am less angry and less disappointed with people than I used to be......perhaps I am just at a more peaceful part of my life. The bitter and more oppressive climate afforded by my frustrated and depressed mother has disappeared years ago now, and her legacy now is of better memories and fewer hurts.

Perhaps that is another typical sign of being middle aged.

Being 47 frightens me just a little. I don't really want to move away from this time of needy chickens ,a pack of dogs that provide a constant loyal safety blanket and the ever-so-small world of vegetables , garden and village.

In my mind I am still 28....and probably always will be...I just look 50