12 Angry men-The Flower Show Emergency Meeting,Transference,Thoughts on suicide, and a U-ish turn.

Tonight's blog will be a bit of a mismatch, so forgive the leaps from one subject to another, it is symptomatic of thinking all day whilst pottering!

Anyhow, the Trelawnyd Flower Show Committee met this evening at Auntie Glads to hear the potentially catastrophic news that the memorial hall will not be finished for the August show to take place. The news looked grim as most of the committee were ready to cancel the whole event!, so I was surprised that suddenly I felt like Henry Fonda in 12 Angry Men, when I took the floor and fought for the show to continue but in the suggested relocated position of the village school! I can't believe that I actually said "where is our spirit that won the war???" when trying to encourage team cohesion, but said it I did and I am pleased to say that after a general vote, we ARE now going to hold the flower show (school principle permitting) in the school!.........job's a good 'un.......

Working outside for most of the morning I have enjoyed watching the hens and their interactions with the new roosters. Now it is always dangerous to attribute human characteristics to animals but I had to laugh today when I witnessed a wonderful example of Transference .Stanley, feeling a bit confident with himself, cornered one of the Duncan's Nolan sisters by the feeding trough and gave her a quick shag! Incensed and angry Duncan ran the length of the enclosure and promptly gave him a brief but very aggressive seeing to!.Stanley shrieked and fluttered around in circleslike a big camp queen for a while then ,muttering loudly to himself he stalked off to a day dreaming Robina and gave her a series of sharp nasty pecks, just like a little boy having a tantrum! Very Funny!
pic- from left to right- One of the Nolans,Black hooker,Whoopie Goldberg,another Black hooker and Suzanna! You can just see Stanley on the far right
The sad news that Heath Ledger had been found dead in his New York home, got me to thinking about suicide ( Note that this may not be true in this case) I know this statement sounds dreadfully flippant, but I certainly do not mean for it to do so. At work we see so many apparent suicide attempts admittedly often from overdoses after binge drinking, that sometimes it is easy to class all self harmers as self pitying and, indulgent and my thoughts today were not concerned with the "para suicidal" impulsive behaviours that can happen when under the influence, but with those people that for one reason or another carry such a blackness with them that the only way out for them is to take their own life.

Even with my psychiatric training, I have never been able to truly appreciate what pain some people go through,perhaps I am lucky never to have really experienced despair in its deepest form and that is why I cannot associate with these depressive actions and feelings of others, Perhaps the truth is that I just don't want to! To have a glimpse of such pain is frightening , as is the very act of suicide. It also seems to be such an intensely private thing...the ultimate frightening and private thing!

It was sad to think of Ledger's lost moments, when I was walking on the beach, but to be honest the overwhelming emotion I had was of thankfulness and relief that I have never suffered from even a hint of what true depression sufferers go through.

Now, I will have to admit to a half U turn today! not a full u turn definitely, but a half one! Popping in to the supermarket for a few bits and bats, I did see one mother (with two babies) struggle to get her kart under control when loading her hatchback with goodies. The shopping trolley with the kids in it had been positioned behind the car, instead of the in the area to the side (even though she was in a mother & baby space) and rather frighteningly the thing swung around in the front of another passing car, which had to stop suddenly. Now I hate to say it, but I can now see why these spaces are important for parents with prams to use ( and I have to underline PRAMS here and not parents with a healthy ten year old in tow) but I still concede that I think that these allocated places should be positioned all over a car park and not just at the prime entrance position!