Monday, 31 December 2012

2012- a few thoughts

I have just read (and enjoyed) Cro's Review of 2012
My own review of the year, is perhaps somewhat different.
National pride at "The jolly good show" that was the Olympics gave the country an intoxicating sense of community which was as surprising as it was welcomed.
And on a purely local level the Village Flower Show and Jubilee  Carnival celebrations had the same effect on the 300 souls that live here in Trelawnyd.
Yin and Yang
Large and small scale.
We are all the same.

On a personal level, 2012 was a time that my family "regrouped" following the death of my brother.
It was a time of introspection, and it was a time when wounds were licked.
From that point of view, it was a very tough year.

Having a sense of humour has helped. Humour always does. And of course I have been blessed with a ready made set of animal and village characters who constantly prick the giggle muscles with antics that can only be viewed by someone who observes things on a micro scale.
This year I have taken much time looking "in" at them all.
They are as comforting as a warm apple pie is on a cold day.

January saw the arrival of the valiant and blind  Rooster Cogburn, he arrived at the same time as the pigs left, and on reflection I now realize that the rearing of three amazingly robust animals like him, number 12 and number 21, taught me a great deal about doing the right thing where animals are concerned.

Village life ebbed and flowed too.
Chris had some amazing  and well deserved successes at work and I made a speech to the Woman's institute!
Friends in the village have battled illness. The likes of Mrs Jones with her sing-song voice have sadly died, and the bad weather has taken it's toll on the landscape .
Trelawnyd, like so many places in Britain needs some sunny times.
We need a summer.
When I looked back at 2012 here in GOING GENTLY one blog entry  from May 3rd caught my eye more than any other.
It is one that had over 130 responses, and it is one that for me, underlines the year more than anything else.
Forgive me for re posting it.


"Today has been Chris' birthday
We planned to go out for lunch and hoped to follow that with a visit to Bodnant Gardens to see the spring azaleas .
Not much to ask for your 43rd birthday
Simple pleasures.
Well, we did go out for lunch and the bluebells were out on the lovely Chapel walk at the gardens, and I played a game that I was enjoying the day and Chris kindly played the game that he didn't notice that really I wasn't.
It was good that we went out, the weather has been nice today

Mabel's condition deteriorated overnight. Her paws became oedematous and even though her breathing improved somewhat, it was obvious that she was suffering from a certain degree of heart failure.
The kind 14 year old vet scanned her again this morning and isolated masses on her liver and spleen, which indicated to him (with all of her other symptoms) that she was indeed suffering from a probable and widespread lymphoma. A lymphoma which had certainly affected her spinal cord
The prognosis, given her physical condition was poor.

Like I said he was very sweet.
He came out with all those tried and tested kind words that I use at work every week,
and he didn't look too embarrassed when my face crumpled like newspaper as I said my goodbyes.
She died peacefully with her big fat stupid head in my hands...
and before I left, I kissed her gently on the nose as I have done most days since she arrived in Wales

Minutes later, I was driving an empty car home as if nothing had happened.
But of course , it had

I have posted before about a psychologist that I worked with, who always used to say
"you feel what you feel", when faced with someone that questioned the validity of an emotion that they were experiencing
Well I feel guilty and slightly ashamed
That's how I feel today."

53 comments:

  1. Bless you John, I hope 2013 brings you all good things, we love you.

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  2. A VERY happy new year to you and the rest of the menagerie, John. X

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  3. We wouldn't be human if we suffered no emotions. It's part and parcel of the Circle of Life but ever-so-hard to deal with sometimes. I wish You and Yours All The Very Best that 2013 has to bring Dr. Doolittle x

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  4. Happy New Year John! And thank you for your blog which as well as being humane, often funny and self-deprecating allows we big city slickers virtual access to the sort of village community that little voices inside us suggest we should perhaps also inhabit in reality.

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  5. Have a very Happy New Year, John.
    A little bit of sunshine would be a very good start. Jx

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  6. yep, I have the same feeling regarding the loss of our dear Molly......

    Gill in Canada

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  7. Oh poor, much-loved Mabel. Tears in my eyes rereading this.

    Dear John - I hope 2013 is better than 2012 for you and Chris and all the lovely critters at your cozy house. Hugs and much happiness tonight and always!

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  8. John I still grieve for my beloved Bo, German Shepherd, of 13 years. Should the day come I loose my dear Bandit it will surely feel like the end. They are part of our Soul, are they not. Unconditional love could not be truer with these loves in our lives .... Happy New Year to You, dear John, Chris and your 4/2 legged loves, from us all over here. xx

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  9. Tough decisions create tough reactions and emotions John. Thank goodness you do feel emotions about things in your life, it makes you a compassionate human being. Wishing you better thoughts and a good and peaceful New Year.

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  10. With teary eyes I wish you both the very best for 2013 and sincerely hope it is one with less personal trauma. When I lost my wonderful dog Jack in 2005 I insisted on taking him to the vets myself...on my own. I too cried like a baby and it upsets me to this day remembering the feeling of coming out of there with just a lead. (Jack's parting shot was to bite me when the vet inserted the cannula which made me feel even worse!)x

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  11. Onwards & upwards John I hope 2013 contains less sadness. All the best.
    Joanne. xx

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  12. It still brings tears to my eyes. Happy new year John; may the menagerie thrive. Cro xx

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  13. Like everyone, I have had some difficult days this year. However, a bright spot is reading your sweet/funny posts in the morning. You are a treasure to many of us who look forward to your stories of life in Trelawnyd. Happy New Year, John.

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  14. Thanks for being here.
    Jane xx

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  15. Here's hoping for sunshine and summer in 2013 for you and health and happiness for you and Chris and your little zoo.

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  16. Hi John,
    I hope you, Chris and your menagerie have a happy and healthy 2013, full of love and success. Happy New Year. off now to wipe my tears and blow my nose and tell my loved ones I love them. xx

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  17. Happy New Year John, Chris and animals
    xxx

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  18. John, here's to a year full of strength and happiness!

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  19. Happy 2013 to you and Chris and all of your lovely animals ..... you have had a mixed year with some tough times so I wish you all a much kinder year ahead.
    Here's to a New Year filled with laughter and good times. XXXX

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  20. Here's to a happier new year for you all. x

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  21. 2012 was really an 8 ticket ride - for most of us, John.

    I may have that bit of gin now, pass it over.

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  22. A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOURS!

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  23. Here's to a Happy and Healthy New Year to you both !
    I've so enjoyed your blog John, it's my little visit "home" each morning, I feel as if I've known you all my life..
    You are an amazing gentleman.
    Cheers,
    ~Jo
    x

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  24. A felicitous and prosperous 2013 to you and yours, J.G.

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  25. Wishing you and your family health and happiness in 2013.
    Thanks for sharing your 2012 with us. Maysie x

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  26. A very happy 2013 to everyone in your household, John. I am hoping and wishing as hard as I can for better weather for the village: that it stops raining and you get some SUN. XXX

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  27. John and Chris,
    Your love and support of each other will help you endure anything that life lays in your path. I pray the coming year will only bring joy and happiness.
    Doc

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  28. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE
    PERHAPS I HAVE SOUNDED EVER SO SLIGHTLY GLUM
    (I AM SHORTLY OFF TO WORK NIGHT SHIFT TONIGHT)
    So that's the reason
    Chin chin x

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  29. Hugs...spread some of your well known cheer around the ward tonight!

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  30. Happy New Year to you and yours, John, You are special x

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  31. You've had a rough year. And I miss sweet Mabel. I hope 2013 is a better year for you, my fellow poultry geezer. Health and happiness to you and Chris and all the animals.

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  32. Bro,
    Wondering if you and Chris would like to join us in Sitges again for my Birthday, Jayne's coming, going to ask Janet and Ned.
    love Ann and Tim xx

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  33. Happy New year to you John and Chris.....from all at Ty Wynne !!

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  34. Happy New Year from Canada. Have a great slide into 2013.

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  35. Happy New year John x

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  36. Alice the airedale, Shelly the chin-peak; I helped them both to go. It was hard, but an act of kindness I think.
    We will never forget the wonderful memories we have with our creature friends.
    All the best to you, Chris and all the other darlings under your care.

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  37. Lots of love to you and yours John. 2013 has to be better. x

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  38. They take a piece of us with them when they go, don't they. This repost made my eyes well.
    I am sending so many good wishes to you, to Chris and to your much loved managerie. I hope the coming year is full of love and laughter.

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  39. Given all that has happened in 2012 John, I don't think I can bear to look backwards. Onwards and upwards! Happy New Year!

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  40. hello, new friend and blog follower! sorry for your loss this year. I too lost a kitty like your albert in april.

    may 2013 bring us all good things!

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  41. All our best to you and yours. I remember that post about Mabel well, and it brought me to tears then and tears now. She was loved and that's always a good thing.

    Big hugs and here's to a great 2013 for all of us!

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  42. As others have said, i cried again rereading about Mabel. Hoping 2013 is a very happy, sunny year for you and yours.

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  43. *hugs*
    Here's to a wonderful New Year for you all. ♥

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  44. Wishing you all the very best for 2013.

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  45. All the best in 2013, John...regrouping sounds very familiar...time for a smile and laugh now!

    Ron

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  46. Happy New Year to you, Chris, Theresa (I hope she survives next year too) and the rest of the gang!

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  47. When I was a younger man I was manly as could be. There was never a tear shed for any reason. Mostly, laughter at the wrong times. I reckon that was my way of handling a bad situation. But, now that age has taken over, I find myself sobbing for no reason. And other times...you (or someone else) posts a story of losing a beloved pet or a heart-string pulling story. The reason is known but, I don't know why I've turned into such a, I don't know the word, cry baby, girl, caring human?

    Anyway John, you can definitely bring out two of my emotions in your writings. Laughter and tears. I could do without the tears but, I don't think I could do without your posts.

    Happy New Year my blogging Wales (friend) Hope to spend many more years with you.

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  48. I'll come out of my lurking to wish you and yours the best in the new year. Going back to full time work has given me little time to comment, but your blog is my daily dose of what really counts. And I've added Bodnant Gardens to my ever growing tourist list for my North Wales visit in May.

    Janet

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  49. Wishing you both a wonderful and happy 2013...
    Ivan

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  50. Happy New Year, John!

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  51. Just catching up with your blog John, this brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. As a lifetime animal rescuer I understand totally and completely what you went through. I hope the pain is easing a little now.

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