Going Gently

Masks

I'm waited in line to get my PPE mask to be fitted at local hospital!!

And here I am all properly masked up.

We Are All In This Together

This is a visual metaphor for how things are for us all at the moment

Mary, Winnie and Dorothy share a chair with Albert ( yeap he's in there somewhere!!! Tucked right in the back!" )

The global virus threat has even affected the season finale ( how ironic is that?)
So I have only one more episode until waiting for the all clear to see who survives into season 11
If The Walking Dead can illuminate anything on corona it is that humanity and kindness is the way forward
The series has been Easter egging corona for years

Going Gently

I was worried about my job yesterday. Hospices all over the country are in dire financial need at the moment and I worked hard getting my job in order to keep the cottage .
The prospect of possible redundancies was almost too much to bare

Today, it's best foot forward.
I've cleared out my bookcases this morning and tucked away was a book , which has always been the inspiration for the blog

Most people think Going Gently derives from the poem by Dylan Thomas

" Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rage at close of day

Rage, rage at the dying of the light"

But it is the novel Going Gently by David Nobbs that is the true inspiration
"The novel is a series of memories, memories recalled by an eighty odd year old stroke patient Kate Thomas, who is paralysed in a hospital bed.
Isolated and unable to communicate , Kate plays in her mind the video of her turbulent life as a welcome relief from the sad and bad old women around her . But it is more than an escape . It is also the search for the truth about life,death , the acceptance of death and which of her three sons murdered her fifth husband...."

The book was a gift from a patient , I thought I didn't get on with very well
Her name was Julia
Paralysed in a car accident , that was in essence her own fault, she was a patient who wasn't patient at all . She's moaned and complained and became so negative in her rehab that staff started to avoid her. I remember that her son once described her as being able to " suck the lifeforce out of a saint " so difficult she was but I also remember that she was plucky enough to follow the gaggle of younger male paraplegics to gym every morning without fail and to be able to put up with their colourful ribbing and telling off if she complained too much to them, disabled men who would not accept self pity and "kvetching"

I remember one day she called me " a hard hearted bastard" to my face , I can't really remember just what it was about , but I suspect I had " encouraged" her rather robustly to do something for herself
" I've been called a lot worse!" I shot back
"I bet you have!" Was Julia's reply

I looked at the book and dusted it off , planning to read it again , in this period of isolation
I hadn't noticed, or indeed remembered that Julia had written in the front of it,
A dedication of sorts
" You Gave Me my life back"
It said
Funny I never got that impression when I nursed her

Keep Yourself Going

I'm having a bad day today..living alone isn't always easy you know?

I think we all have the occasional bad day given our present situation

I knew I was shaky when I shared something with a Going Gently follower and they emailed me with this statement

" At times you write, I respond, and you and I share a moment glimpsing into a place within your heart."

I valued this understanding and intuiative support...Mary x

This morning Rachel and I talked and laughed. At lunchtime I received a note of support from my Australia buddy

Words acting as a duvet on a very cold night

Tonight I caught up with some Sheffield friends on video

I've just finished chatting with Jane, who carried on when Mike's link went down

And we metaphorically held hands for an hour as only some old friends can do

Zoom Again

My patient died peacefully just a half hour before I finished my shift .
I said goodbye to his partner just as I was leaving the building and hugged him before getting into my car for home
You can't employ social distancing in a hospice...you just can't

I got home, collected the dogs from Trendy Carol , and set up the iPad just in time to meet up with the family on Zoom.
We had arranged to catch up with drinks
My nephew Chris, his partner Rebecca and daughter Evie, my sister Janet and hubby Ned, my sister in Law Jayne, sister Ann and brother in law Tim and great niece Ellie down in London had a bunfight of a meet. Lots of shouting, lots of " We can't hear you!!!!" And lots of looking around flats and houses and artwork with lots of " ohhhhhss and arrrhhhhs!"

It was a touch of base that was oh so needed, a grounding meet , a funny catch up.
Nothing sparkling, everything normal
And I am so lucky to have a dear family
After today's shift , and a review of life in Britain in general,
It is a family I am not about to take for granted
Hey ho x

Support Your Local Hospice

I'm going into work later.
Sickness has visited our part of North Wales like it has done everywhere,
I'm only surprised that they didn't need me in earlier.
I'm happy to do it, I really am.

Working for a charity in these uncertain times is worrying.
The lockdown simply means that money is not coming into the hospice's accounts
And that public money pays for the nurses' wages.
Nurses that continue to ensure quality end of life care is given during this crisis
Could well lose their jobs when it is all over!
Go figure!

The velvet voiced Linda who has organised the Village warden system has done a sterling job with now two wardens allocated to each street in the village and its environs. A whatsapp group now connects every warden to her in HQ and with each other and every few minutes this morning my phone has beeped urgently with people co ordinating pharmacy runs and food deliveries .
We even have a village warden social app group, where most of the volunteers are sharing videos such as this one