I might be mad but I have provisionally agreed to give a foster home to a three year old diva
I know things are busy for me ( I got home after nine pm tonight after a day which Could rival Intensive Care and which had my feet sore and my head spinning) but I think there is room enough for Dotty
Within the fag hag canine community of Bwthyn at llan Dotty needs a loving home
For five years I have thought that one person I know is an absolute arsehole
Last night I told him that he was
It was over an arguement that essentially he was in the right side of
But his manner, just flipped me over the edge of good breeding and I could no longer bite my tongue
It felt guilty...
But....mighty good
Even though most of it was transference
Winnie went to Trendy Carol's this afternoon...
She kicked the cushions from off her sofas too.
She was one of four patients I was responsible for.
A tiny bird of a woman in her nineties.
Her room was dimmed and very peaceful and she allowed me to feed her a minuscule portion of soup with a teaspoon.
Inbetween tastes, we spoke briefly.
She taught me to pronounce her name which was very Welsh and very difficult to say.
I told her it was only my second shift at the hospice.
I made her comfortable and asked if I could brush her thick grey hair which had feathered out against her pillow.
She nodded weakly her consent.
The soft plastic teeth of her pink hairbrush glided gently against her scalp and at every brush she half closed her eyes in brief bursts of pleasure. " I too love having my hair brushed, I always have from when I was a little boy " I admitted and she nodded again
She fell asleep within a minute or two.
I sat quietly for a while, the hairbrush still in my hand.
I was remembering a secret, shared a long time ago.
A conversation between my husband and I.
One of those private talks, you have with your next of kin
At quiet times, like that moment in that hospice side room
" If you were ever dying on intensive care" he told me " I will sit by your bed and run my fingers through your hair"
I felt I was going to weep, but I didn't.
The old lady sighed in her sleep.
And I silently put her hairbrush away and slipped away from the room
Tonight was my last choir practice for a month
I have been rostered for the next four Tuesdays but after this I hopefully will have Choir night as my day off, which will allow me to also have a day where I can also earmark for my Samaritain mentoring, volunteer shift paperwork and audit day...
The choir had the difficult Beatles song Help to master, a challenge made a little more complicated by some rather unsavoury and blatent flirting between one of the over chatty bass members and a somewhat loud Alto who stands opposite. ( the choir stand in a circle)
This testosterone/ oestrogen behaviour came to a head just before we tackled the South African National Anthem where the bass tiptoed over to rub noses with the Alto....
A gesture which brought forth a breathy " Good Lord!!!! " from Peter the Gentleman farmer and a rather disgusted " Well that was all a bit unnecessary !" from Heulwen my friend and tenor from Trelawnyd.
Jamie sporting his new 1940s RAF beard is far too well bred to say anything
But we will if it happens again!
We giggled like schoolgirls on the way back home about it all...
Trendy Carol ( neat jeans , very nice leather jacket, hair slightly big) called over the kitchen wall this morning. She asked for a spare key to the cottage and will pop in when I am at work to check on the girls.
Another example of community which is genuine, undemanding and kind.
I listened to Jacob Rees Mogg verbally slap down an NHS Urology consultant on LBC talk radio yesterday morning for highlighting health care worries a no deal Brexit could cause.
The doctor was polite yet shocked by Rees Mogg's rudeness
I was sickened by it.
Like many Americans, I don't want the people that represent me being rude....
Cruelty, rudeness and lying
Politics seems to hurtling down this route
I sent him a tweet telling him he's a knob
Gwen- one of the happier moments in the film
Knob is my word du jour
I use it daily and did so last night when a man continued to talk to his wife very loudly during a screening of the Welsh movie " Gwen " even after being politely asked not to by a young woman behind me " You're being a knob!" I told him and he hushed very quickly
No, the irony of me calling everyone a knob is not lost on me .( I need to get that in before the anon commentators start!)
The film was " advertised " as being artistic and beautiful.
It was depressing and somewhat downbeat and looked every inch it's budget
I am meeting a friend this afternoon. She comes from land locked England and is going through a hard time with health and family issues so needs the seaside air and quiet ear.
She was a rock for me a year or so ago, and I intend to repay the favour.
Quid Pro Quo As Hannibal Lecter used to say
The cottage is being valued today as part of my bid in taking over the mortgage .
I only have a helpful window of Our Representative will be with you between 8 am and 2 pm
The cottage is in readiness
I have enjoyed my first week at the hospice.
It's nice joining a team again.
I have been reminded so much of my Spinal Injury days where the staff were incredibly intuitive and psychologically grounded when it came to patient care.
In the hospice , as you would expect, it's all about pragmatic nursing balanced with that psychological care.
I have found the medical input relaxed, comprehensive and client centred.
As the new "boy" with very little palliative care experience, I'm pretty much playing the " teach me " game, which I am very happy to do.
I love the soaking up of information , even though I have gone home with a headache every night and I wonder what they think of me after all I'm not a gauche wall flower of a character.
Last night was a case in point
At the nurses station there was some discussion about bringing dogs into the hospice.
Several of the nurses had already seen Mary when I called in to collect my uniforms and the conversation meandered into a chat about the merits of certain breeds " What do you think of Dachshunds ?" Jo the nurse asked as I got up to complete a drug pump check " I don't like them" I told her " They can't walk upstairs with an erection!!!!!"
