Who would play you in the movie of your life?

Who would you like to play you in the movie? ( I know it's a lazy post but I have to look after my MIL
Me?
Jack Black as a young man...Russell Crowe now
YOU?

The Sewing Tin

The Prof and his mom have gone shopping.
Like Cinderella I have stayed home and swept out the smoking wood burner.


I've got the better deal , I am not a fan of clothes shopping.
I cleaned the cottage and mopped floors before enjoying a detailed shave and several luxurious minutes stealing the Prof's expensive moisturiser.
My face now looks ( and feels) like a pink baby's arse!
I tried on some clean trousers for tonight's meal out and pinged off a waist button after bending over to dig shoes out from under my side of the bed.
The button nearly hit Albert who was sitting in the bedroom window watching baby rabbits.
He wasn't fussed.
I knew where the sewing tin is....it's on the second shift of the bookcase , perched neatly on my illustrated copy of Watership Down which in turn is sat on the box with our paper treasures in it.
Months ago I found the tin out after The Prof had used it.
It's a colourful tin covered in chickens.
Most homes have a sewing tin don't they?
A depository for cotton reels and needles, buttons and a much needed pair of sharp scissors. There's half a measuring tape in there and safety pins which are never used.
Mini sewing kits found in Christmas crackers and in business hotel bedrooms lie scattered on top.
A sewing tin means real life ....normality....a childhood remembered......a shared practicality only two people know of.
I haven't sewed a button on to anything for an age. It's not hard but it is a simple skill my grandmother encouraged me to learn
" watch your fingers when you push the needle though" she's say.
Forty six years later, I still have fat, clumsy fingers
But it was nice to sit in the quiet ......sewing
With a face as smooth as a baby's arse.

Tomorrow Belongs..........

Best Son In Law EVER!!!

.......I'm gay!

Right....Here is a brief lesson to all of those readers who want to impress their mother in law on one of her infrequent visits.
These are all achievable and easy to complete

1. prepare her room with care. Lovely handmade patchwork quilt on lovely clean bed.
2. Fresh Flowers on desk and place own bedroom mirror onto her desk to act as a make up mirror
3. Clean towels set out with slippers
4. Gossip magazine left on pillow
5. Small set of Easter bunnies as bedside gift ( she doesn't eat Easter eggs)

Simples! ......all a bit gay...but it bloody works!

The Attraction Of The Working Man

I had visitors yesterday.
One sharply dressed saleswoman in fantastic shoes and one man in a boiler suit.
Both arrived together in the middle of a torrential rainstorm.
When such visitors arrive, the bouncy terriers are placed safely away in the car. Only Winnie is allowed to stay.
Her blind affection for dirty handed blue collar chaps is legendary.
The boiler suited workman was installing superfast broadband in the living room and as usual I asked his permission if Winnie could accompany him. Once this was agreed upon she thundered in like a baby hippo and gave him a careful once over.
Now Winnie's "once overs" follow a strict procedure. First she will give the visitor an in depth face stare. this usually lasts around ten seconds or so and is invariably followed by a physical head rub on an outstretched hand. Once the ice is broken  overalls, combat pockets and any tools have to be sniffed at and explored before  demands for more head rubs and hopefully full on kisses follow
she prefers being kissed on the lips when kissing is the order of the day
Julia Roberts out of Pretty Woman she is not!.
Once all of these stages have been reached, the workman will then be followed blindly. Every movement and activity being closely scrutinised, ideally with little piggy eyes only inches away from the job in hand.
this can be disconcerting for those of a weaker constitution
The broadband man had to return to his van a couple of times for materials and every time Winnie would accompany him in her usual laissez-faire amble.
She never gets bored with proceedings.
A half hour into the visit, she even shared some of his Cornish pasty when he disappeared for a crafty coffee break.
"She's a grand old dog!" the  broadband workman said as he left " I've never been supervised so much since I was an apprentice"
Winnie then jumped up against the workman and demanded a kiss with a loud grunt
Your breath stinks" he told her
and she smiled at him with unchecked adoration

Moved or Manipulated

What is the last thing that moved you to tears?
Many things can set me off
I've inherited this sentimental streak from my father
This set me off today

Birthday Gal

It's my mother in law's birthday today.
She's having a day surrounded by friends and family.
She is well liked and well loved
It's a product of being a nice person.

"Do Not Send us Astray"- The Walking Dead ep13

Slumber party gone wrong

The worst part of episode was when my favourite redshirt Tobin ( Jason Douglas)killed the sassy foul mouthed doctor from Kingdom, she..( Peggy Sheffield) would have made an interesting  new character.. It was a great moment of complete mayhem when the injured Hilltoppers succumbed  to their infected injuries and ran amok amongst the sleeping survivors..it was just like old days!
Ok ok it was a rehash of the prison flu episode, but I didn't much care.
It was back to the Walking Dead of old.
The Hilltop fended off the saviours but at a price. Henry and Morgan played silly beggars. Pretty
New Yorker saviour Alden switched sides to the good guys ( a new eventual Maggie love interest 
perhaps?) and Tara realised that Dwight May have saved her life.
This episode was set at a cracking pace.......8/10
Loved it

Tobin, not at his best