Thanks to Athene and Rachel
Handy Hints work !
A winter's night...blowing and cold
And a lovely warm cottage with a clean window
A winter's night...blowing and cold
And a lovely warm cottage with a clean window
handy Hints
Have you a handy hint to share? I promised one commentator ,last week, that I may call for suggestions...I suspect my readers may surprise us all with a few.
I love handy hints, the real ones and the false " funny " ones.
They all intrigue me and entertain me.
Today I followed the hint at hoovering the living room carpet with the upholstery attachment rather than with the regular brush roller attachment
And bingo !
Half a ton of shit !
Ok not entertaining but very effective!
So what are your handy hints?
They can be as practical as you like....or , like those in Viz, as wonderfully surreal! It's up to you
I love handy hints, the real ones and the false " funny " ones.
They all intrigue me and entertain me.
Today I followed the hint at hoovering the living room carpet with the upholstery attachment rather than with the regular brush roller attachment
And bingo !
Five minutes hoovering of a clean carpet!
Half a ton of shit !
Ok not entertaining but very effective!
So what are your handy hints?
They can be as practical as you like....or , like those in Viz, as wonderfully surreal! It's up to you
YOUNG mothers: Calm hysterically crying children in the supermarket by firmly slapping their legs and then tugging them along by the wrist.
PHILANDERERS: Avoid the embarrassment of shouting out the wrong name in bed by having flings only with girls who have the same name as your wife.
FOOTBALLERS: Remember there is plenty of time to get drunk after your playing career has ended.
HORSE whisperers: Speak louder. The animals will hear you more clearly, thus speeding up training times.
FEMALE shop assistants: When a garage mechanic comes to your till, add on a selection of random items they didn't know they needed and charge them s50 labour costs for the transaction.
SINGLE MEN: Fool folk into thinking you've got a girlfriend by standing outside Topshop with loads of bags
Happy Days
Snowdrops in the Churchyard this morning
Apologies for the thumb
I nearly got my head kicked in this morning.
Not something you expect in a lane above the village at 10.30 on a Sunday morning.
Mary and I had stopped to say hello to Mrs Trellis and her greyhound Blue when a large black car, tinted windows and a throaty exhaust roared past us without slowing down.
The dogs jumped as we did, so I gave one of those very British open palmed shoulder shrugs and the car reached the top of the hill in front of us, in order to say " thanks for slowing down"
The car stopped for a long moment
And as Mrs Trellis gulped a large gorilla-sized man got out to stare at us.
" what are you effing looking at? " the gorilla bellowed furiously
" You didn't slow down and your exhaust scared the dogs!" I countered not unreasonably
" You were in the middle of the fucking road!" the man shouted waving his arms
There was no point arguing as patiently were couldn't have been in the middle of the lane as he had passed us easily.
Mrs Trellis' bobble hat twitched nervously
There was a stand off silence for a few moments as the aggrieved gorilla thought about what to do, and eventually he got into his car to drive off, only then did I conceded to myself that we were lucky. Luckily a silly stare could have landed me into hospital.
When I was on ITU I remember having a conversation with a police officer who told me that cocaine use was rife in North Wales. Cocaine, methamphetamine, amphetamine and steroids all stimulate the user into violent rages and aggression and they are drugs of choice by more people that I could shake a stick at. " Normal people like yourself have no idea just how common drug taking is " I remember the policeman saying " would you think of cocaine at breakfast time with your sugar puffs? They would " He added cheerfully
We have a brave new world.
I'm not saying that the gorilla in the lane had taken drugs...perhaps he had...whose to know.....more likely he was just an angry person upset that a middle aged dog walker had looked at him "in the wrong sort of way" a look which he had caught in his rear view mirror .
The Post
Worthy but not riveting
Interesting but not compelling
Hanks was good, Streep was better
I wouldn't watch it again
1989
Tucked away behind the print was a large photograph taken in the late 1980s
It was a photograph of a groom and his best man each with each other's hats on.
Laurel and Hardy comes to mind.
I am Stan Laurel.
It was the only fun thing in that wedding as I recall.
The photo holds a great deal of memories for me. Many good -a few bittersweet
Bittersweet, as the photographer who snapped it ( who was also a close friend) was killed in a plane crash only a few months later!
And slightly bittersweet that my friend, the groom more or less lost touch with me over the years as some friendships envairably do
I sent him a copy of the above photo yesterday on Facebook and he replied to my message with a " bloody hell look at us !" Kind of way. The photo I am sure was bittersweet for him as well ,as his marriage failed not long after as we all knew it would.
All The Way Through
This is one of the most moving things I have seen recently
Please watch till the end to view the two soloists reaction
High Colour
I'm a terrible blusher.
Always have been.
It's a curse which has followed me through all of my 55 years on this planet .
I either look embarrassed , pissed or hypertensive at the best of times given my ruddy complexion ( when I was a baby I looked like a fat tomato!!)
And unfortunately with my years advancing the sometimes crippling affection of " the blush from nowhere!" remains with me.
I tell you this secret because I blushed terribly at the land agents' office this morning. I have driven the twenty miles to a little market town up in the hills to drop off the field paperwork and tenancy agreements as well as the rent payment and couldn't quite locate my wallet from my manbag!
The camp-as-Christmas clerk had already wrong footed me by complementing the bag only a minute or so before , so it was with much embarrassment that I had to empty most of the bag's flotsam in front of him in order to reach the rent cheque.
An almost empty bottle of aftershave, blackcurrant fisherman friends cough sweets, empty envelopes a note book with " weight watcher's recipes" written on the front and George's antibiotics were all hoisted out and as the clerk wryly commented that the bag indeed was " a regular tardis!"
I blushed like a teenager after he had said it
Like I told you....it's a curse
Blushing often comes in waves , it's almost as though one " attack" sets another off. Only a half hour before the bagblush I had seriously coloured up at the vets when George (who had not been to the vets since he was a puppy) opened his bowels in a fit of nerves in the middle of the waiting room floor.
It was only made worse by William who being half blind stepped in the shitty puddle before I could stop him.
I was still glowing a bit as I took a picture in to be framed at a local art shop.
" is it too warm for you in here?" The shop owner asked politely
" No I'm fine' I said " I've got a cold"
Hey ho
Always have been.
It's a curse which has followed me through all of my 55 years on this planet .
I either look embarrassed , pissed or hypertensive at the best of times given my ruddy complexion ( when I was a baby I looked like a fat tomato!!)
And unfortunately with my years advancing the sometimes crippling affection of " the blush from nowhere!" remains with me.
I tell you this secret because I blushed terribly at the land agents' office this morning. I have driven the twenty miles to a little market town up in the hills to drop off the field paperwork and tenancy agreements as well as the rent payment and couldn't quite locate my wallet from my manbag!
The camp-as-Christmas clerk had already wrong footed me by complementing the bag only a minute or so before , so it was with much embarrassment that I had to empty most of the bag's flotsam in front of him in order to reach the rent cheque.
An almost empty bottle of aftershave, blackcurrant fisherman friends cough sweets, empty envelopes a note book with " weight watcher's recipes" written on the front and George's antibiotics were all hoisted out and as the clerk wryly commented that the bag indeed was " a regular tardis!"
I blushed like a teenager after he had said it
Like I told you....it's a curse
Blushing often comes in waves , it's almost as though one " attack" sets another off. Only a half hour before the bagblush I had seriously coloured up at the vets when George (who had not been to the vets since he was a puppy) opened his bowels in a fit of nerves in the middle of the waiting room floor.
It was only made worse by William who being half blind stepped in the shitty puddle before I could stop him.
I was still glowing a bit as I took a picture in to be framed at a local art shop.
" is it too warm for you in here?" The shop owner asked politely
" No I'm fine' I said " I've got a cold"
Hey ho
Rock 'n Roll
Rush hour Wrexham
In February I've been asked to take part in a weekend course for Samaritans
It means a multiple workshops and an overnight hotel stay,
One of these events took part in the picturesque city of Bath so I got quite excited at the prospect of a pub trip, a brief bit of local colour and maybe a nice meal out!
Suffice to say my weekend is in Wrexham ( Google Wrexham and you may get a feel for my disappointment )
I also had a message from a fellow Sam called Graham ( not his real name) who is a retired pensioner ...who is going on the same course and who wanted a lift
Hes a lovely person who added as a postscript " I'll bring my ukulele "
Rock n fucking Roll!
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