Friday, 26 January 2018

High Colour

I'm a terrible blusher.
Always have been.
It's a curse which has followed me through all of my 55 years on this planet .
I either look embarrassed , pissed or hypertensive at the best of times given my ruddy complexion ( when I was a baby I looked like a fat tomato!!)
And unfortunately with my years advancing the sometimes crippling affection of " the blush from nowhere!" remains with me.

I tell you this secret because I blushed terribly at the land agents' office this morning. I have driven the twenty miles to a little market town up in the hills to drop off the field paperwork and tenancy  agreements as well as the rent payment and couldn't quite locate my wallet from my manbag!
The camp-as-Christmas clerk had already wrong footed me by complementing the bag only a minute or so before , so it was with much embarrassment that I had to empty most of the bag's flotsam in front of him in order to reach the rent cheque.
An almost empty bottle of aftershave, blackcurrant fisherman friends cough sweets, empty envelopes a note book with " weight watcher's recipes" written on the front and George's antibiotics were all hoisted out and as the clerk wryly commented that the bag indeed was " a regular tardis!" 
I blushed like a teenager after he had said it
Like I told you....it's a curse

Blushing often comes in waves , it's almost as though one " attack" sets another off. Only a half hour before the bagblush I had seriously coloured up at the vets when George (who had not been to the vets since he was a puppy) opened his bowels in a fit of nerves in the middle of the waiting room floor.
It was only made worse by William who being half blind stepped in the shitty puddle before I could stop him.

I was still glowing a bit as I took a picture in to be framed at a local art shop.
" is it too warm for you in here?" The shop owner asked politely
" No I'm fine' I said " I've got a cold"

Hey ho

69 comments:

  1. That vet visit sounds an absolute nightmare and is an excellent argument for not having pets (although Mary is pretty cute).

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    1. I've had worse visits and better ones! Once I had an argument with another pet owner with a duck sat on my knee

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  2. I blush freely too! One particular client noticed how easy it was to make me colour up, and spent the next 25 years trying to embarrass me. It got to the point where he only had to walk in the door and I'd turn bright red!
    Nope, I didn't fancy him, but he turned out to be a very good friend. He died eleven years ago, and I still miss him and his cheeky face. I used to tell him he could make a Saint swear, I wonder does he? X

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    1. Yes it's a real curse if an enemy catches on to your affliction let alone a friend

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  3. Blushing is awful. You blush and then blush more because you're embarrassed about the blushing.

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    1. I'm blushing just thinking about it

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  4. I got such a good laugh from the clerk's tardis remark!

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  5. I am so with you my friend. At school when the headmistress would warn that some money or a watch had gone missing!. I had not touched them of course, but there I was looking as guilty as someone with a smoking gun, with a scarlet face. I had a very jealous/controlling first husband. He only had to mention another male and there I was gleaming vermillion, and sometimes I did not even know the other person. I now have a lovely husband and I do not think I have ever blushed in front of him and as I have got older (71) it has got a lot better. You have a while to wait for it!!! Love Andie xxx

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    1. I feel guilty if someone is being accused on tv!

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  6. Yep another blusher here, and funnily enough I get ridiculously hot and bothered every time I'm in the vets. It's so bloody hot in there to start with and then they start to ask question after question and you feel like a complete pillock when your mind goes blank. Much easier with just one pets details to remember and only one dog at a time to control.

    Also my face is an open book, I couldn't get away with telling a lie if I tried. Whatever I am thinking is there on my face for all to see, and has been all my life.

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    1. I always thought you look cool and collected when I've seen you

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  7. Perhaps you are going through the manopause, John Gray. I hope not.

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  8. You made me laugh again. I shall not tell my son (I often tell him of your exploits) because he doesn't like dogs and really was unable to say why until last week. He was worried about my falling on the ice so came round each day to take Tess for her walk. When he came back he announced that he had decided that the reason he didn't want a dog was that it seemed to him that all dog owners became obsessed with their dogs' bowel movements!

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  9. Oh John. You gave me a chuckle. Represent with that man purse. No need whatsoever to he uncomfortable about it.

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  10. I still blush and quite easily. Oy vey.

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  11. Now that is rich!!!

    I once had my schnauzer shoot diarrhea on the wall behind the exam table. We laughed when the vet exclaimed it looked like a Jackson Pollock.

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    1. The receptionist just passed me a kitchen roll with a bored look on her face

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  12. I'm a blusher too. The harder you try not to, the more you blush. Not a delicte pink hue but a bright crimson.

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  13. I had to look up tardis. I'm still laughing. Have you looked into roseola?

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    1. No it's not a virus I'm just punk

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  14. Like Sue I wear my feelings on my face, can't help it even though I try! Yeah, blushing is a drag, I've always been a blusher....do recall one patient who, upon my neck and face turning beet red as me if I was having a hot flash!

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    1. I fall,over a lot , that sets me off blushing even more

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  15. Another blusher here. I know it's happening when my earlobes feel hot!

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    1. It's nice to know I'm not the only one

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  16. Life long blusher here too. The worse thing for me is when some arse says "Ooh look at you blushing!". Yeah thanks, I had actually noticed.

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    1. I hate it when you know it's coming over something about nothing

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  17. You make me feel better because I thought it was only females that blush. As a teenager I hated that if anyone ever paid me a compliment I instantly went bright red. Since then all sorts of things can make me go red and just as it starts happening less often the hot flushes started. As you say, there is nothing you can do about it. I often do the "is it me or is it hot in here?".

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    1. It's worse for gingers and I have some red in my colouring and hair

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  18. I blush,get flustered & hot suddenly too.Wednesday my top dog was at the vets having his anal glands tended too.I had to struggle with all my strength while the newer vet did the procedure.As soon as it was done he saw how hot I looked & said to the girl watching ''open the window" x

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    1. At least you didntbhave to do it youself

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  19. I think you are wonderful even with a blush.

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  20. I know it's a extreme response, but a small dose of a beta blocker might take care of it. Say, 5mg atenolol.
    ta,
    Mike

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  21. My dear John, don't worry about it. A blush can be rather endearing, not least on a man. At least it goes as quickly as it arrives. Unlike some of the more unmentionables.

    U

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    1. I'm not worried just mildly irritated

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  22. I don't think I blush but I get embarrassed and want to hide.

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    1. In certain social situations that what I want too...especially when some church services have you greeting strangers @ I hate that

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    2. May Peace be with you x

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  23. "Camp-as-Christmas" HA! I nearly died!

    You are awesome. Blush at that.

    -invisigal

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    1. No blushing I agree wholeheartedly

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  24. This made me laugh. You are a divine writer, John Gray.

    And who doesn't love a good Tardis reference?

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  25. I've never seen anyone blush, I wonder if it's a British phenomenon, w very fair skin?

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  26. I am a victim of the 'red cheek curse' myself. Most debilitating.

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  27. I feel like I am gatecrashing a blush convention. I don't.

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    1. With what you gave got up too,? I'm not surprised lol

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  28. Lol ahh bless! I blush but in my case it’s hot flushes creating a delicate sheen of perspiration on my face.

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  29. First try in ages to comment. So glad that I am in touch again. I can't remember the last time I blushed, but that says more about my memory than anything else. Have horrendous memories of the menopause, but that was a long time ago! ☺

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  30. I used to blush easily but realized recently it had been ages since I suffered a glowing face. I wonder why? Anyway, I can still remember the embarrassment of it, and sympathize with you.

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  31. John i'm a blusher too and i totally 'get' what your saying.. I'am quick to color.. Exertion or being too warm will do it too.. Ah well it can be inconvenient and embarrassing but i'd rather have a little color than look pale and pasty all the time.. Unfortunately it also means its impossible to hide what your thinking or feeling at any given moment.. Hugs! deb

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  32. i would have been blushing, too, with a day like that!

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  33. I've never been a blusher, but I'm prone to stumbling over my words, or even drying up completely, in awkward situations.

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    1. I don't stutter but I do have a habit of talking shite

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  34. I have just fallen off my chair laughing,so sorry.x

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  35. People sometimes joke that you could light a candle off my ears when I am embarrassed.

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  36. OMG, the vet incident. WOW. I would have died.

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  38. I've read that people who blush easily are more lovable and endearing. There you go.

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  39. Your recount of collectibles in your man-bag had me laughing to tears. Mainly because I've been there so many times. One often wonders just how much one bag can hold, but when it takes a long search or two to dislodge a needed item the answer can only be too much!

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  40. I'm a blushed too. But your day gave a good laugh. It seems that whatever happens you always end up with a good story

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  41. Hmpf... I'm an extremely fair-skinned, strawberry blonde. It's a shorter list to say what doesn't make me blush.

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