nipples on concrete

Bulldogs don't cope with warm weather. They should never be walked in full sun as they can overheat and indeed die within minutes.
Summer temperatures over 20 degrees, mean that Winnie has confined to barracks for the entire week and to be fair to the old girl, she's bored titless.
Indeed " Tits" is the word du jour, for she only gets relief from the heat by flattening her nipples onto cool concrete
Ladies out there take note.....it seems to work very well for someone suffering a robust hot flush!

I am doing overtime tonight so off to bed now! Speak tomorrow x

I'm Friggin Mary Berry

Sunday morning...and again it's glorious sunshine!
Breakfast in the sun watched by early morning hikers marching down the lane, is the order of the day.
Classic Fm and Prof mellow in his dressing gown . True some kind soul has laid a turd on the patio, but that's only a minor grumble in an otherwise perfect Sunday.

Trendy Carol ambles past with her terriers , ipad carelessly slung overher shoulder.....We sip coffee swapping schedules for the month. The Prof is away most of the rest of June.
What is on the agenda today?
I'm making soup for lunch.....

Ok.....this is dead easy

1 onion ( fine cut) soften in olive oil with 10 strands of saffron
Add 3 large cups of chicken stock
1 lb of fine cut courgette
Cook on simmer 15 minutes
Add 8oz watercress ( chopped)
Simmer for another 5 mins at least
Liquidize
Heat gently with 3 tablespoons of cream
Season if required

Bloody lovely  

Hippo is Alive and Obviously Cooking On Gas

Good news...Tom Gowans ( aka Hippo) is still with us!!!!!!!!!!!

Strangely a score of friends/ bloggers were sent an email today heralding the arrival of his third child.. ( I say strangely as I thought he would blog about it! ) 

now we all thought...that

1. He had succumbed to his dreadful thigh injury and had died a painful death
2. He had been hounded out of Angola by some local nefarious types with a machete
3. He'd joined an aging mercenary gang aka Bruce Willis and was shooting the fuck out of some South American drug baron" with a group of wrinkled ex SAS killers

Anyhow Here is the email 

" I would very much like to have said that her name was chosen as a nod towards tolerance, harmony, freedom of expression and peaceful co-existence regardless of race, creed or colour, 'je vous présente ma fille, Charlie…'

Sadly, given that such is Marcia's fascination with the British Royal family she wanted to name our humble two bedroomed timber cottage, 'Clarence House', I rather suspect Charlotte owes her name to Sky News and its non-stop coverage of the royal birth.  Still, I get the last laugh; I can call her Charlie, which I think is a really sweet nickname for a girl, and it also happens to be the name of my dog so there will be an economy of effort when calling them both to heel.

Charlotte Teresa Manuel-Gowans, born 19.33hrs on the 30th May 2016, weighing 3535 grammes to the delight of both parents and her brothers Dominic and Alex.  Both Marcia and Charlie are in the best of health.  

Tom" 

Blooms

I've not got much time to catch up on blog replies at the moment. Yesterday was a case in point what with trying to sort out a broken log burner and getting quotes for new window frames.
This morning I had to face the gauntlet of clipping the Prof's hair for the very first time.
(A job more daunting than learning the haemofiltration machine on intensive care! )

So, I shall leave you with some photos I took yesterday. There was a wedding in the village and the lych gate was decorated with pink and white roses, which were pretty enough, but the laburnum , which is situated just west of the main door, stole the show.
Wales has been blessed with beautiful weather this week

Albert Went Missing ! ........*#~+!

I'm typing this in the wee small hours after a  " graveyard" shift. This post is a bookend post from yesterday. The first was an emotional romp about being tubby. The second was a more uplifting post about the excitement fellow villager Chris Cairns had for the sudden appearance of a majestic Red Kite......so the third is going be a kind of worrying post about Albert!
Any why not?.
Yesterday, I was waiting in for the plumber to arrive. He had been booked to replace an immersion heater and after three false starts arrived at midday wanting tea and sympathy.
He got the tea and Winnie gave him the sympathy, as she studiously watched his every move in the airing cupboard within six inches of his spanner!
" what does she want?" the plumber asked nervously as her big brown eyes never left his hands
" she's just nosey " I told him " She loves strangers" 
I am sure his hands were shaking just a little.
Anyhow, as he was working away, I went to feed the hens and as I did Graham ( the local sheep and odd job man ) stopped his pick up.
He asked me if Albert was ok, and when I said I hadn't seen him since our 5 am dog walk , he informed me that he had been told that a black cat had been taken to the vets on the main road after being hit by a car.
Shit!
I hurried into the cottage but he was nowhere to be seen , so as Winnie made moo moo eyes at the plumber And with a heavy heart I rang the vets .
The conversation went something like this
Me " Have you had a black cat brought in from Trelawnyd?"
Receptionist : " yes is he yours?...can you describe him?"
Me: " he is black and has a old broken right leg and always looks very  surprised "
Receptionist " Well he's unconscious at the moment so I can't see his expression " she said unhelpfully
Me: " He also has a tiny white spot on his chest! "
Receptionist  ( hearing my exasperation) " I will check"
As I waited nervously , I could hear the plumber telling Winnie to get her face out of his toolbox, and moments later the receptionist came back to tell me that thankfully that  no white mark could be seen
I hung  up feeling happy and slightly guilty!

Anyhow Two hours later Albert sauntered into the living room without so much as a kiss my arse look and he enjoyed an earwash by Mary within seconds.

Animals ....they will be the death of me.

Mary having her lughole licked

Light Relief

Yin/Yang
Strawberries/cream,
Nigel Farage/ arseholes

Some things go together and compliment each other nicely.
Today, we've had a glum post, now a few hours later things have, as they have a want to do, picked up nicely.

First Liv and Eve ( the daughters of the affable despots Claire and Jason) called round with a birthday card then, I spied local landscaper and all round bouncy character Chris Cairns up to something at the village noticeboard.
Now Chris is one of life's enthusiasts!  He is a smiler and a chatter, and is a man who can lift a droopy spirit with a story of the mundane which has been blossomed by excitement and positivism, and today he was hanging up a notice for the whole village, to share in some good  news.

 The news, was indeed good....Chris had seen a Red Kite fly over his house which is located on the other side of the village. Now although they are a common sight in Mid Wales, it is rare to see them up here in Flintshire and Chris was cock a hoop about it.
"Put it in your blog thing" he told me and I promised to do so
" It's a bit of nice news" he added " and we all need a bit of nice news"
Aint that the truth!

Not Everyone Likes Woody Allen

I'm opinionated and generally forthright with people but I know I use self deprecation humour as an armoured shield from time to time.
Perhaps this gives the impression that others can say just what they like.
I'm not quite sure on the mechanics of such things
Recently I was reminded by someone, that I needed to loose weight.
I noted the concern but the statement was unleashed in front of others and it stung. It stung not because it was a correct statement........(I'm not an idiot) but because it was done publicly.

The problem with self deprecation is that it chaffs when someone else beats you to the punchline.

Me, me

It's my birthday

Me, me, me, me, me!