A Victoria Wood Moment

With the Prof shopping in England , I took myself off to Marks & Spencer for lunch
No I didn't have a scotch egg ( they don' do them in the cafe) so I had mulligatawny soup and tea!
Behind me were sat a couple in late middle age, he obviously had bored his wife silly

This is how their conversation panned out after a somewhat fraught ( on his part) run around to choose the best table

Him: " Have you seen the state of that waitress' hat?"
Her: " no, what's wrong with it?"
Him: " It's not very flattering , what with all the netty stuff over her hair" 
Her: Sighing ..." It's health and safety- they have to keep their hair covered" 
Him: " Well , you would have thought that the uniforms and hats would be a bit brighter, wouldn't you given that they are ambassadors for Marks? ' " 
Her: " Ive never really thought about it, as long as they smile and are polite, I don't give a stuff what they wear"
Him: " But black......it's black.........it doesn't look nice does it? I would like them to wear something more lively" 
Her: "hummmmmmm"
Him:"I mean.....black.....it's depressing and not very stylish" 
Her: " Audrey Hepburn always looked lovely in black" 
Him: She didn't wear a Marks and Spencer waitress outfit did she? 

( At this point I almost turned around to say that she even looked good in a black and white habit aka The Nun's Story)

Her: loud sigh.............

Long pause, as he was cutting into a baked potato 

Him: " a lighter colour would have been more jolly" 

Her: " ........I wish I felt jolly" 
( i could have kissed her) 

Compromise

I am sat at the kitchen table with my trusty American coffee cup feeling rather tired. I note that George has strategically positioned himself directly in my line of  vision.
He is waiting for his walk.
My thoughts today, dear children , centre on relationships.
Compromise, is the word of the day.
I am getting better at compromising .....I think.
Today is a case in point.
Today we had planned to go shopping at a large popular retail " Mall" just over the English border.
but last night the Prof's mate ( a rather chic fellow Prof) asked him if he wanted to go with her.
I knew damm well that he would prefer her as a shopping companion ( what do I know about fashionistas? )  but he gallantly told her that he was busy.
" If you want to go with Jo that's fine with me ?" I told him " but instead tonight you can treat us to a theatre trip" (Theatre Clwyd's  Cyrano De Bergerac has received rave reviews just recently)
Quid Pro Quo!
So it's a win win situation..........we do something nice together ; he has time with chic best friend and George gets his unhurried walk this morning .
Result!

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes!

A recent newspaper photo of the village schoolchildren 

Complaining about speeding on the main road

( Animal helper Pat is centre)

Well it's 44 years since I stepped into a Primary school, so I was half expecting to smell those awful nostalgic smells of warm milk in small bottles, thin custard and cheep disinfectant in cold toilets when I was shown into the junior class of 8 year olds to talk about blogging
The village school , as it turned out, was a colourful inviting, vibrant place with a firm but jolly teacher in charge of twenty or so impeccably behaved youngsters.
I sat on a tiny chair before starting and looked Miranda Hart in that episode when she got her bum stuck in the school chair.
The kids were polite and asked questions and I tried to cover the dos and don'ts about blogging as constructively as I could, especially as the class plans to start their own blog under the supervision of the teacher. I showed them photos of the international novelty veg competition entries to illustrate just how many silly sausages are around in this world to join in to your world and tried to underline things like privacy and good practice without sounding too boring.
One girl wanted to tell me that my nickname was " The Chicken Man" whilst  another young lad asked if writing blogs everyday was boring.
I did have one sticky moment when another boy put his hand up to say that his mum often laughed at my blog...but I got away with A noncommittal " thats good!"
I asked the teacher to read this entry out in way of some sort of explaination.......at least the kids laughed when I told them the story of my giving a lecture on blogging to the Llanasa Women's Institute....four decrepit old ladiesin the middle row fell asleep during that one!
One even started to snore like a pig as I recall.

Today was an eyeopener for me. I witnessed a teacher in control of a class of polite children that were a credit to her, her helpers and to the school. It was a lovely experience

And I didn't swear once!
Hey ho.

Tables Turned

Been on the receiving end of nhs care today....literally........no smart arse comments please

So Sad

After School Activity- Blowing Goose Eggs

We collected goose eggs after school today

And before painting them

Liv and Eve were taught to blow them

Messy garden fun

Tits Up

 I had a lot to complete today....bitty, insignificent jobs for sure, but they were ones that needed doing.
Unsurprisingly almost every job went tits up, albeit in a small way........this is the way of the world

Camilla looking mighty pissed off

 Firstly I was badly bitten on the arse cheeks by one of the geese when I was removing an egg from under a rather disgruntled Camilla Parker Bowles. She is far too well bred to nip me herself ( the worst thing she will ever do is to gently hiss at me)but her housemate Jo, isn't and it was Jo that crept up on me and my builder's crack in order to give me a good seeing to.

After this I picked up George from the pet superstore groomers and he pissed like a horse up the glass of the guinea pig enclosure on the way out.
He's ten today too, so as a birthday gift the groomer manager gave him a wrapped bag of small dog biscuits....more about them later!

We then drove to tesco in order to return a carpet cleaner I had hired but I had forgotten the code of the door lock of the stand it came from and couldn't therefore put the bloody thing back. The
supermarket was very helpful even though it was a different company who ran the stall and they allowed me to use their phone to finally locate someone in customer services to help me but I was all hot and bothered by the time I had got rid of the soddin machine.

I was good however and didn't succumb to an emergency scotch egg in order to calm my nerves but I did buy  George a small packet of garlic sausage he could eat in the car before I went to the Nat West to do some banking for the Prof.

There was a long queue at the bank so I thought I would fill in the cheque stub while I waited, so I pulled the cheque book out of my overstuffed pockets and promptly pulled the bag of dog goodies out  scattering the lot all over the floor!
The queue did one of those typically British things and ohhhhhhed and arrrhhhhhhed a lot as I went very red but at least one man and a middle aged woman started to help me pick them up as another younger woman said to her toddler son " oooohh the man's dropped all his sweeties!"
The toddler promptly picked up the nearest " sweetie" and horrified,  I yelled rather too theatrically
" THEY'RE DOG BUISCUITS!!!!!!!!" at the mother just incase the little sod tried to eat one
This initiated another set of ooooohh's and arrrhhhhh's from the queue!

 

George looking very smart, he's ten today!

This afternoon I have pruned the honeysuckle from around the front door and fell off the garden chair I was using as a ladder when the postman arrived with a package.

" You've got to be careful with D I Y ," he said helpfully " more people are killed in falls at home every year than they are on the roads! " 

I scowled....but he carried on chearfully 

"Another pressie from one of your blog fans?" He said handing over the parcel 

As it turned out the parcel was filled to the gunnels with homemade hearts...a gift from my father in law's friend June, who made them for me to sell at the flower show......a very kind gesture.......

Thank you june 

 One of the nicer things to happen to me today 

Hey ho

Slings And Arrows

I was speaking today with someone who let slip that he has not spoken to his son in four years.
I didn't ask why, it wasn't my place even though I was sort of interested to know just how bad a slight could have caused such a rift.
When asked if the falling out was truly a permanent thing, I was greeted with a rather lacklustre "probably" as a reply.
I didn't explore the subject anymore.
I just couldn't be arsed.

I have never really fallen out with anyone on this drastic a level. True there are people I cannot be arsed with, but that is usually a result of them being in someway irritating , boring or homophobic.
The older I get, the less I can be bothered with fools as I see them, so ignoring them is the best option
Ignoring someone is not holding a grudge.
There is limited anger in the action.

A few years ago now, I spoke to someone who is a talented cook. I suggested quite sweetly that they enter a particular item in our flower show's cookery section and was surprised to hear a somewhat angry reaction of " I shall NEVER enter that show"
I didn't react to the comment, though I would have loved to have done so....for that brief reply held a myriad of set of emotions. A slight, an anger of being crossed...something I was not really privy to.  I recalled that the person involved had never in recent years walked into the show itself even though they lived in the village for an age....

I thought about this one day and discussed it with the Prof when we were out joyriding in the Berlingo.

"I wonder what the slight was?" I mused. " Perhaps it was an upsetting second place certificate for a previous well loved recipe " "Perhaps there was a falling out over a particularly lurid flower display?"
I put various scenarios to the mega brain in the passenger seat.....
He raised a Roger Moore eyebrow as I banged on
"what do you think could be the reason for them not even entering the show?" I asked him finally
The Prof sighed
" Have you ever thought that they simply might not like YOU?" he said

I laughed......and thought
"fair Comment"