Going Gently

Put Down

What have Intelligent Drunks, Queeny Divas and Manic Despression sufferers in their manic phase all have in common?
Well, before you reach for your postcards, I shall tell you.

They all are expert at delivering the cutting insult.

Years ago now, I once had to chase a psychiatric patient down the main drive of Bootham Park Hospital in York. The woman could see I was flagging by the time she had reached the main gates which led to a busy thoroughfare just outside the city gate and in front of a load of shoppers and drivers in their cars she screamed " Come on Lard Arse" at me before she scrambled onto a passing bus!

A policewoman once told me that when faced with a potty mouthed woman ( when she was not working) the best way to get your own back verbally is to confidently point out to her and the world that she is wearing " CHEAP SHOES!" . It is a put down that I have only successfully used twice and I must admit , it was incredibly satisfying when I unleashed it on a woman who swore at me on a petrol station forecourt.

What is the best put down you have heard or better still said.......?
I'd be interested to hear just how good bloggers are at the one line insult

Kismet

Mary ( Butter wouldn't melt)

Coincidence? Kismet? Fate?

Whatever they are? I love those strange little moments in life that dovetail together.

Seamlessly.

Yesterday was a case in point.

In a brief unsupervised moment, Scary Mary decided to de stuff part of the arm

Of the Prof's arm chair

It looked a mess

Exactly thirty minutes after I took this photo of the damage

I received a message from a friend from work called Greta

The message said

" do you want this? Free of charge will deliver?"

And with it was a photo of an arm chair!

An hour later this was sitting in our living room

How fantastic is that?

Thanks Greta

And thanks to the fickle finger of fate

Almost Halfway Through Episode 7

Carol had a lovely top on this week!

And Rosita did some acting ...she's dead soon

Oh and Glen's alive ( really?)

And Tara flipped Rick the bird

And then the walls Of Alexandriacame tumbling down.....

The MSFinale is next week!

Happy Days

fair do's to the Prof,

I got home late after work this morning all tired and worn out and I was ecstatically happy when I found the cottage beautifully tidy with the dogs all lined up in a row waiting for me like the Von Trapp Children in front of the Baroness.

I suddenly thought I was living in a parallel universe.

The worktops in the kitchen were cleanly wiped down and free of clutter.

The washing up bowl was empty and smelling fragrantly like a posh girl's foo foo and the recycling was all organised and ready for bagging up.

As I wandered through the cottage, I began to notice other things.

Instead of being scattered around the living room with gay abandon, the sofa cushions were all neat and tidy and not on their usual place on the floor where Winnie hurls them and upstairs the bed was made, and the bath room towels all put away!

Its a joy not to be faced with minutiae of shite when you are tired.

I made toast and eggs for myself and shared the crusts with the dogs . Then I had a hot bubble bath and by 9.15 I felt all clean, zen-like and back to normal.

I put on clean jim jams and skipped to bed with a light heart.

..........and in my bare feet stood directly in a large mouse-gut pool of Albert puke which had thoughtfully been deposited in the centre of the bedroom floor.

Bloggers

Blogging and bloggers never cease to surprise me
You can work your creative juices off on one piece of work and get .a couple of comments, then drop in a brief discussion on gun laws and receive 100

My good friend Rachel, who always shoots from her hip , had knocked up,a collection of three line blogs, ostensibly when bashing on her lipstick before catching the train to work, and collected a score of appropriate comments.
It only took her ten minutes too ( presumably one handed).......
Oh.....It's an interesting phenomenon

So.......what nugget of information shall I share today?

Ok , run with this one

I have incredibly small ears
Discuss.

A Masterclass: Benjamin Ferencz

I told you earlier that apart from a crazy cat flap abusing Welsh terrier puppy little of note has happened today.
I was wrong.
For, when I was sitting in Fanny , waiting for the Prof to get off train, I turned on radio four to listen to Eddie Mair.
Mair was interviewing 96 year old Benjamin Ferencz.
Ferencz was a lawyer and is the only surviving member of the prosecuting council from the Nuremberg Trails.
He has been an advocate for global justice for half a century.
It was a sobering, and electrifying piece of radio.
Ferencz ,is still a force to be reckoned with.
His recollections of the Nazi war trail as well as the atrocities he witnessed at the liberation of the death camps were eloquent, disturbing and incredibly honest.
He led Mair with all of the deftness of a great, good man.
I listened silently to the whole thing totally spellbound
If you get a chance to listen to it..do so see
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p038mc2s