A Matter Of Language

Recently I have read discussions about the sex life of former Prime Minister Edward Heath. Many of these refer to him as a pederast and a sexual predator whereas another , a news website , excitedly described him as a "homosexual with a liking for young boys" .
Now, non of us actually know the truth, and indeed Heath may have been a gay pederast but what I take exception to is the blatant linking of the words homosexual and child abuser.
I think it's lazy and it's dangerous.
When Jimmy Saville got outed as being a nasty abuser of young girls the media didn't once refer to him as that " middle aged heterosexual with a thing for teenage girls"  so why lump gay men in with abusers of male children ?
The misinformed, the bigots, the confused, and the just plain thick all too many times confuse bog standard gay men with the abusers of kids.....sure abusers of both sexes are out there and have always been out there .
Just don't associate one with another eh?

Okok I know.....it's all a bit heavy for a  Trelawnyd smallholder
So I shall leave you with my entry for the Class of " homemade greetings card"
Kinda good eh?

I'm a right fucking sad sack

Flower Show HQ

I slept in heavily this morning and only woke up with a start when at 7am I heard the phone ringing.
In my hurry to answer it, I caught the leg of my boxers on the bedroom door knob and had a devil of a time hanging over the top of the stairs.
I think I've done myself a bit of a mischief in the old groin region.
Anyhow with Flower Show Day approaching the cottage has taken on the appearance Dorothy's house from The Wizard Of Oz  AFTER the tornado had hit. It's a mess only Flower Show Secretaries from around the world will understand....
I will leave you with a few photos of the chaos .....and promise not to bore you with such larks tomorrow...hey ho

Flower Show HQ READY for action

The trophies have mostly all been returned and cleaned

Mine and The Prof's herb exhibits all ready

The jam jar vases for the tea tables, all prepared

Tired & Emotional

The older I get, the more emotional I get.
it's a simple fact that I am not ashamed of. 
Is it a product of genes?, after all my father was a big crier in his latter years and would be often caught sniffing into the arm of his armchair at a family reunion on Cilla Black's " Surprise Surprise!" every Sunday evening.
I don't think so.
I think it's a product of being more comfortable in your own skin, added to the fact that I have had only 2 hours sleep.
Tiredness would get even the likes of Himmler crying into his swastika embroidered hankie me thinks.

when I am tired I make it a point NOT to listen to sad music featuring a slow piano piece. I refuse point blank to watch ANYTHING on tv featuring rescuing pets, meeting your mother who abandoned you when you were 3 months old and tv movies with the title " who will look after my children?"
old re runs of "Little House On The Prairie" can be fatal too, especially the later episodes when Mary went blind............oh and never watch the Disney movie "UP"  when you yourself is "Down"
you will be blubbing for hours......

I could feel myself starting to wobble this morning over something .....but the timely intervention of Claire (the wife of the affable despot Jason) with a car full of kids with their entries all ready for the novelty veg competition cheered me up no end...I wish the same could be said for the Prof who is will be busy printing out the 50 or so International Novelty Veg entries at home later..........how the mighty academic have to cope with the degrading printing of photos of tomatoes with large cocks ...its a great leveller

Gay Gordon's Massive Cake Box

Working tonight has cocked up some of my list ticking off today, but I have got most of what I needed to do today, in an effort to catch up after our week away.
I've collected more shit ( sorry stuff) for Auntie Gladys ' stall, chased up a few final raffle ticket buyers and have persuaded a few of the villagers who have beautiful gardens to enter some of the flower classes.
I had just collected a few of the trophies from last year's best garden winners when Gay Gordon appeared at the door of his and Big Mary's neat little bungalow
" HELLO FLOWER!" he bellowed down the street " I HAVE SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL HERE FOR YOU"
I giggled coquettishly and jogged over, and he led me into the living room where a large white cake box took pride of place in the middle of the sofa!
" IT's MY BIGGEST AND BEST YET!" Gordon boasted with justifiable pride
" 8 EGGS AND HALF A PINT OF BRANDY HAS GONE INTO THAT BABY!"
I opened the box and there inside was the largest and heaviest fruit cake I had seen since he made the previous one for last year's show .....(that one as I recall had to be transported in the footwell of Gorden's invalid trolley.)
" IT'S BETTER THAN MY LAST ONE !!!!!" Gordon tittered " BIG MARY'S OVEN IS MORE CONTROLLABLE THAN MINE"
Big Mary beamed from her arm chair.
" DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH IT FLOWER" Gordon said " RAFFLE IT, CUT IT UP AND SELL IT.....AS LONG AS IT HELPS THE DAY OUT!"  He looked at my shorts and added " CAN I HAVE THEM SHORTS AFTER YOU HAVE FINISHED WITH THEM?"
Gordon loves a nice pair of shorts!
I promised that he could have my shorts after I had worn them out and heaved the cake from it's resting place on the sofa.
I nearly did my back in carrying it to the Berlingo

Boiled Fruit Cake

This afternoon I have finally caught up with blog reading.....I did this in between baking my biscuits and boiled fruit cake entries  for the flower Show and it was nice to read Tom's knocking shop Joke , hear all about Rachel's holiday, The weavers farm days and Yorkshire puddings trip to the theatre....but in the end I was a slave to  non stick parchment baking paper and a badly functioning fan oven.....Mary Berry you have a lot to answer for!

A Thoughtful Bulldog

I am convinced that Bulldogs mull things over.
They take their time and they think carefully, especially about situations that may worry them.
Now Winnie has just spent a pampered week in the company of Norma.
Norma is a talented counsellor, bulldog enthusiast and all round good egg so
Winnie has been loved and petted and allowed to sleep on a marks and spencer duvet covered bed like a fat bitch Diva
She has wanted for nothing, subsequently her reunion with the other dogs seemed rather lacklustre and even though the three members of the pack had been effectively separated for a week, all of the dogs greeted each other and me with all of the excitement of a separation of just an hour or so.
When I was at work last night, she has obviously thought long and hard about it all, and on my return home this morning she greeted me with all of the hysteria of a sad spinster at a Cliff Richard concert.
I fell asleep on the couch and  all morning she has hovered over me  , looking carefully and seriously into my face for reassurance that I was still alive and not going anywhere.
Every time I sleepily opened my eyes she would lean forward and chomp her mouth in  a happy satisfaction that I was home.
I was rather moved that she had finally  decided that she had missed me after all.

Home

William..happy to be home.

 The dogs are back home from their respective babysitters and I have been on catch up with a dozen or so phone messages about the flower show since I got back. It's going to mad busy like this all week!
Between the heavy showers, I took the dogs out for a quick troll around the Village and noticed that Mrs James' and Mr Ellis' hanging baskets have both gone up a gear!
I shall be interested to hear which one has won as Mr Butler judged the garden entries when I was away?
I haven't got much time to blog today....off for a sleep before work but I will leave you with the latest International Novelty Veg entry..........please note all entries need to be in before Monday

Sigh

It was too late to pick the dogs up as it was past eleven when I left the railway station!

So The cottage was practically deserted when I finally got home.

But I was bloody right about Albert

Two sets of rodent intestines were laid out on the living room floor 

And for some strange reason there was a cat turd in the bath!
Nice to be home!