Nearly a decade ago, I had to act as the dutiful partner to a University academic and play the hospitable "hostess with the mostest" with a couple of non English speaking Chinese students on their very first visit to rural Wales.
" what will they want to eat?" I asked Chris, not sure if I had to cater for a vegetarian palate
" Give them something Welsh" he suggested helpfully, " I'll bring them over in an hour or so"
An hour later I spied two small shapes through the kitchen door, and when I opened it two tiny and very scared looking Chinese girls stood before me, both with cameras in their hands.
Four photographs were taken before I had a chance to usher them into the cottage.
I don't think they had seen a gay house husband before!
Now back then we had two dogs. An overly friendly Welsh terrier called Finlay and a grumpy old Scottish terrier called Maddie who had a particular dislike for strangers in the house. Of course it was Maddie who walked into the kitchen to see what all the camera flashing was all about and after taking one look at the girls, she let rip with a deep and piercing Scotty bark.
Now to be fair to Chris, no one had told him that both girls were pathologically terrified of dogs ( I guess it's not something that the student liaison officer would ask in passing) so you can imagine that both Roger Moore eyebrows were considerably raised at the hysteria that followed.
It's amazing just how loud two Chinese girls can be when they are clambering all over your couch in an effort to get away from a Scottish terrier with an attitude.
Anyhow they calmed down after two large orange squashes and a promise of something to eat
" have you made them something Welsh?" Chris asked
" Spaghetti Bolognase" I told him
" Near enough" Chris replied and in an effort to calm the soothed nerves he found them Chinese channel on the satellite box.
It worked like magic.
Immediately the girls sat down on he floor in front of the tv and watched their " local" news as if their lives depended upon it.
I served them the Spag Bol on their knees which they bolted down within a few seconds.....I hardly had time to offer them some Parmesan before they had cleared their plates.
" I don't think they've eaten much since coming to Wales " Chris ventured
" how long have they been here?" I asked
" Four days!" , Chris replied " they've already demolished two cream teas and a large plate of Bara brith on the way here"
I gave the girls our portions of Spaghetti , two more large glasses of squash and a massive slice of cake each, and as we all sat in silence in front of Chinese tv as they enjoyed their tea.
It was my first AND LAST venture into " foreign" hospitality and as I watched the last bit of carrot cake disappearing I couldn't help thinking how hard it must be , being the Queen.
Hey ho
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Maddie & Me |