Goose Feet

Jo, this morning,braving the snow

 note Russell the gander and Camilla sitting in the lurid purple paddling pool

Jo is the gentlest of all the geese, she always looks as though she's smiling

If I was a bird, I am sure I'd be a land locked goose for a goose out of water is an incredibly clumsy creature.
Chris watched me trying to get my socks on the morning then laughed when he saw me trying to force two feet into one trouser leg hole.
" I've never met such an ungainly individual " he said with all of the insight of being a seni professional dancer in his teenage years.
I don't think Chris has ever fallen over by accident......ever!
I have fallen over twice today already
and it's only 10.30 in the morning........
Walking geese are always tripping over things. I think it's a product of not being able to see their feet.
I can see my feet and I still went arse over tit....
TWICE

I blame the snow.......

P

The South West view from the village

Ps
Animal update:-
Winnie is now more or less walking normally..though is playing ultra diva when asked to sleep in her usual crate
Phyllis Diller is back to normal after her recent cat attack
Bingley has needed his individual portion of car food today to fight away the cold.

Cleaning The Church

W/E 18th January....Mr J Gray

The vicar's bought a new Vacuume Hoover .
I don't like it.
It's one of those skinny little things that has no substance to it.
I feel like an over weight girl pushing around a child's toy hoover when I'm vacuuming inbetween the pews.
For It doesn't feel quite real.
I've gone over the carpets, polished the woodwork and buffed up the brass plates.
It doesn't take long.
The Church, strangely enough always seems devoid of any dust.
After I had done, I employed my secret weapon when it comes to proving to all that the cleaning has indeed been completed
I ran up and down the aisle blasting my own bottle of FEBREEZE into every four corners of the church.
I even gave the Vicar's vestments a quick squirt
Ooh matron!

A Limping Dog

Having lost two dogs to devastating neurological conditions , I am just a little jumpy when one of the pack exhibits the mildest of limps. The day before yesterday Winnie showed clear signs of a bad limp. She wouldn't weigh bear on her left rear foot, and was reluctant to go for a walk or even climb onto her favourite arm chair to sleep.

She even seemed reluctant to play when Albert made a bee line for her on the living room carpet after a morning's hunting!
Yesterday I rested her, and today on her 6 am walk the limp does seem a little better, but I still wouldn't allow her to bolt up the stairs for her usual lie in on the bed for fear of causing her more problems,
Now Bulldogs are creatures of habit, and without her usual treat Winnie started to bark is a kind of pathetic " I want my lie in" kind of way, so before Chris left for work, he caught me, in my pyjamas lifting Winnie onto the couch where I joined her for a "lie in" before dawn.
" I've seen it all" he said raising his Roger Moore eyebrow just a little as Winnie and I snuggled down under a blanket.
By 7.45 William, Meg and Albert had squeezed themselves onto the sofa with us
Only George, remained spread eagled on the duvet upstairs.
The entire  double bed all to himself

"And The Winner is........."

As always the bloggers of this small world have done me proud........I am sure to conscript you all to enter the novelty vegetable photo competition at this year's flower show in August

Thank all of you for joining in with the fun

The finalists are

Gail12:19 am

Appalled that Chris told the neighbor about the fanny stain on the duvet, John was speechless.

Razmataz12:26 am

Shit, I think I just sat on your Scotch egg.

Zoe1:50 am

John and Dr. Chris's reactions to the zombie apocalypse. 

Kathy58533:13 am

Jon: "Yes, I swear! I can get 4 scotch eggs in my mouth at once!

Chris: "am I really going to marry this clown?"

Curvywitch1:51 pm

Chris had just discovered the dangers of letting John plan the menu for the wedding breakfast - three courses of Scotch Egg would certainly test the laying powers of the Ukrainian Village.

Sue Tooze4:32 pm

Chris, Don't tell me you're going to sing Let it go from Frozen the entire journey"!

And the winner is............

( overly long dramatic pause)

Sue Tooze!

Congratulations Sue......send me your address ( to jgsheffield@hotmail.com)

Your prize will be in the post

Xxxxxx

Competition

A recent selfie of the fiancé and I

There is a prize for the person who gives me the best photo caption!

The winner will be picked in 23 hours 

Scum II

There was much talk of scum in my previous post

And so I have been reminded of a quote from one of my favourite 

Fïlm musicals

" My Best Friend's Wedding"

Julianne Potter: But that doesn't excuse any of it. I'm pond scum. Well, lower actually. I'm like the - the fungus that feeds on pond scum. 

Michael O'Neill: Lower. The pus that infects the mucous... that cruds up the fungus... that feeds on the pond scum. On the other hand, thank you... for loving me that much. That way, it's - it's pretty flattering. 

Julianne Potter: Except it makes me fungus.

Scum

The dogs ( Albert is somewhere in there ) after their early morning walk lie in

Early morning and late night walks are mostly uneventful affairs. Having said this is it is common for us to get a glimpse of one of the many badgers that criss cross the field on a regular basis.
Last night a large badger sow trotted off with the body of a black Orpington  which I had left out at the bottom of the field. The Orpington had collapsed rather theatrically after strenuously laying an egg yesterday morning and even though I generally have a love/ hate relationship with the Badgers, I always recycle deaths from the Ukrainian village in this pragmatic way.

Strangely enough, I noted this clip of news on the BBC website yesterday
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-east-wales-30795071

"Two men who attempted to injure and kill badgers from a sett in Flintshire have avoided a prison sentence.

Leighton Shiers, 19, and William Chrystal, 24, of Liverpool, pleaded guilty earlier this month.

They were arrested after being discovered by police at a field in Trelawnyd, near Holywell, last April. 

Shiers and Chrystal were ordered to complete 160 hours of unpaid work and pay £300 costs each at Flintshire Magistrates' court on Tuesday.

The defendants were arrested and terrier dogs were seized along with a Land Rover, shovels and a a GPS locator collar, which is worn by dogs sent underground to find badgers.

Three other people at the scene ran off and have not been traced.

The pair's mobile phones were seized and showed images of terriers at a badger dig with injuries to the face and others appearing to attack a badger."

 

Photos taken from the convicted men's phone

This sort of behaviour makes me sick to my stomach.
Not only can I not understand the pleasure a person gets digging a wild animal out of its den in order to kill it, but why on earth would anyone decent put their own pet terriers in harms way putting them up against a creature that could snap a foreleg in one bite?
These men are scum

Best Before

Last night, while I was out in the lane in my pyjamas giving the dogs their last wee stop of the day, next door neighbour Mandy came out of her cottage and presented me with a newly bought six pack of potato crisps ( chips as you Americans say)
There is a story behind this little kindness.
For years our back garden wall has provided an avenue for barter, egg collection and gift giving.
Dog walkers often give me their orders on the way down the lane and will collect their eggs boxes on their way back to the village. Bags of stale bread, old pasta, and garden greens are often anonymously  left for the animals and only a month or so ago , two large bags of strawberry plants were left for me to plant out in " Bosoms". from someone unknown........it was only by chance that I bumped into Alan Walker the other day, who mentioned in passing that he hoped I could use them.
Yesterday a dozen empty egg boxes arrived from somewhere or other , and it's only been a few weeks since a plastic carrier bag full of scones was found looped around the front door knob.

Anyway last week , I came across a large unopened multi packs of crisps out on the wall. There was no note with them, nothing to let me know which kind soul had left them........nevertheless I was delighted at this unexpected surprise and as I took the dogs out for their walk I tucked into the first packet with all the gusto of Billy Bunter sucking the centre out of his first cream horn.

I was on my second packet when a  head popped up from behind the neighbour's wall. It was the ever cheerful Mandy
" are you eating those crisps?" She asked with a slightly worried expression
" yeash, they're lubley" I tried to tell her with my gob full of potato
" The packet is a year out of date !" Mandy wailed " I left them for the hens!"