Lesson learned

Right....all those red blooded men and women out there please take note

Make sure you don't say something " playful" &  " fruity" to your partner

When you are perusing the cakes in marks & Spencer's bakery

A young man behind us who  was reaching forward for a French stick got more than he bargained for

this afternoon!

Kill.....kill......kill them all!

I absolutely hate working two nights in a row over a weekend.
I never get enough sleep through Sunday
This is Because:-

The Church bell will invariably ring before eleven or three, depending on the service

The dogs down the lane will become apoplectic with hysteria when Pippa and her badly behaved mongrel bitch pass by

And the phone will go at least once during the day!

Add to this mix the huffing and puffing from Chris when he completes the most routine of daytime chores in my absence and we have a recipe for serial killing!
With me being the serial killer!

Happy Days!

Music to cry to

After all that seriousness...I think a bit of nostalgia is in order

Dan Hill

Music to cry to when you were a teen

What was yours?

Do Your Best

 I've just read two blog posts that discuss aspects of suicide. The act and the intention of the the act. Both made me think.
And both were incredibly sad in their own way.
My professional life has been touched by suicide many times
It has also been cushioned by professional distance, support, supervision, and an acceptance that all one can do at the suicide " front line" is your best.
Your best to read the signs that suicide may occur.
Your best to prevent the act,
And your best to treat the illness that may be clouding the intention .
" Do your best"
If you believe the phrase....it's the only sure way of dealing with suicide without driving yourself at worst potty or at best clinically ineffective.

I spoke to someone the other night who was contemplating suicide
It was a serious conversation, by a gentle and vulnerable person and was one that I tried so hard to facilitate a positive outcome from.
I will never know if I helped
That 35 minute conversation has lingered long in my mind all week.
I think I did my best

I hope I did.

Chaos Theory

The peace and quiet of the field has been transformed by the arrival of two new chickens and the Cayuga ducks. Now it resembles one of the latter scenes from Lord Of The Flies with various characters running amok, their little beady little eyes intent on mayhem and madness.
Not only do hens have a strict pecking order and a mistrust of newbies, but ducks and geese , too, hate any sort of change and that change doesn't always need to occur within their own species.
And so, ducks will chase and challenge new hens and visa versa. Geese will chase and honk at anything new even if the victim in question is a dropped piece of paper. And old established cockerels will chase down and batter any new male with a cock of his own and an attitude to match.
It's West Side Story , with webbed feet and fat bills instead of flick knives and a warbling Natalie Wood.

And so the old ducks have laid siege to the lurid purple paddling pool, in an attempt to prevent the new Americans from coming near. The new cockerel has been forced to wander around the edges of the field, where He is embarking on a full bloodied rape offensive of unwary hens
And the air is filled with loud quacking , shrill  squawking and hysterical to-nig and fro-nig
Only Bingley is calm
I fed him his treat of dog food this morning and he calmly ate the lot

As all around him descended into chaos

Caught Out

I am in the process of cooking a turkey lasagna 

Apparently it's low fat

So says the jaunty sister from last night's night shift

I have just collected the ingredients   

From sainsbury's

Looking like the wreck of the Hesperus 

I was standing by the deli counter trying to get my foot back into 

my croc which had fallen off

When a voice shouted

" have you got a scotch egg in that basket?"

Without looking up I picked up a two pack from my trolley 

and waved it gaily 

towards the voice

Nothing To Share

I'm working an extra night tonight

Last night at SAMS 

So I am a bit disorientated at shift changes

I have no news or thoughts from today

Save for the fact I've just made meatballs

Bleached the bog

And laid some superglue over a new cut on one of the cayuga's feet

Now I am off for a bath and a quick kip with the dogs.

Enjoy a melancholy Matt Alber

and his

" End Of The World"

Cayugas

Two beautiful iridescent green Cayuga ducks

And two cream legbar pullets arrived today

More waifs and strays

When I out delivering eggs, I saw a sprightly Auntie Gladys
sweeping fallen leaves out of her yard
She passed me a couple of scones and in her sing song voice
declared the Flower Show
" The best one we've ever had"
" mind you" she added as she swept away with her broom
" I went to bed at 6 o'clock afterwards
I was buggered!"