Disaster!

It was still pitch black outside and several hours before dawn when I woke to the sound of running footsteps on the stairs

The dogs ( with the exception of Winnie) were all asleep in bed with me

And all woke up with a start when the bedroom door burst open with a bang

And framed in the light from the hallway 

Stood Chris

He was panting 

Something was VERY WRONG indeed

What was the calamity, I hear you ask?

A family trauma?

The fairy lights on the tree on fire?

Someone had broken in and had nicked all of the Christmas presses under the tree?

No

It was something so much worse

Measuring his words slowly

Chris told me what the disaster was

" THERE IS A BIG SLUG IN THE PAN CUPBOARD!,"

he gasped

RING THE FRIGGIN POLICE!
I said with a sigh

And The Winner Is.....?

The " winning Tree"

This year the village looks quite Christmassy thanks to a selection of 

bright fairy lights scattered on trees, bushes and in windows.

I unofficially judged the illuminations thus evening

And my findings were as follows

Third place : The Furneaux Family's neon blue fairy lights on London Road

Second place: Val & Peter's ( also London Road) multicolored creation in their corner tree

And First place goes to Eileen Jones' classy blue and green display on High Street

Mr Magoo

Chocolate money & an interested bulldog

Today, I caught the bus down to town

I grabbed my " egg money" from the drawer in the lounge for the bus fare before  I collected Christmas cards and hurried outside to the bus stop

When It came the female bus driver looked just a little exasperated when I hurriedly put my " loose change" back in my pocket in order to check my coat for the fare 

For amongst the 20p and 50p coins, there were four silver and gold chocolate money coins

Sat incongruously in my palm

I had been given the chocks by my mother in law and I had hidden some of the uneaten ones away in the drawer.

I need some new glasses

"Ho ho .............bleeding ho"

Every year I hand deliver around fifty Christmas cards around  Trelawnyd, and every year what should be a leisurely stroll full of festive cheer becomes two hours of dog induced stress as dogs cannot quite grasp the finer points of visiting  strange front doors and new, interesting smelling paths in order to shove a small envelope through a little slot in a door.

Leads get tangled.

Doorsteps are pissed upon

And open doors are invaded.....

So by noon, I and they were all hot , sweaty and Very pissed off and I STILL  had eight envelopes left to deliver at Rhodfa Arthur ( the Welsh for Arthur Avenue) so the prospect of walking all the way round from Well Street , along the main road to the final cul de sac felt one step too far.....

So I took the sneaky short cut, and dragged the dogs through  Beryl  Evans' back garden!

I was just tip toeing past her front door when it opened and a rather surprised Beryl said " hello?"

" your Christmas card" I mumbled offering it to her ...it had a sloppy bite mark on it where I had held it in my mouth after yet another tangle with the dog leads,." you keeping well.?" I asked her in passing

" No .." She said " I'm not feeling very well at the moment"

" oh dear" I said and   marched  off

I just needed a sit down and a cup of tea

The Old Cowboy

After letting the animals out first thing after night shift

I grabbed -a one hour sleep, then took Chris down to the station, walked the dogs and returned

home to catch up with jobs.

I couldn't help noticing  the bundle of feathers lying quietly in the corner of a run when I entered the field......

Without a fuss the blind old rooster Cogburn, like his cinematic namesake, had finally faded into the sunset 

He Sat on his porch so to speak, with his face in the sun, and there, quite suddenly and gently, he had died.

You can't get too sentimental over poultry.

They are scatterbrained scraps of feathers connected together by a beak who die as easily as Christmas cards are thrown in the bin after Boxing Day .

But there was something always so very valliant about Cogburn who lived his small blind life in a chicken wire run without misery and without  resignation.

He just

Got on with  things.

Animals do

A bit later I will take his body down to the badger set in the next field

There is  no point not to recycle his remains

But for the moment

I can't  quite get around to move him from his small , earth floor home

So I will leave him for a while

My old cowboy

Asleep on his porch
with his face in the sun

My old boy

Arhhhhhhhhhh

Like I said I'm on night shifts all weekend

The church bell woke me at 11am
Chris went out for lunch so could not " field" 2 people knocking loudly at the door around 12pm,
and again at 2.30
The phone went around 1pm causing the dogs to howl like wolves
I have had no sleep

Face time

Just received a FaceTime video of Chris enjoying his Christmas dinner with his family( he called in to see them all after working in London today)...
It was nice to see them all tucking into their supper
Even though I had just eaten my dinner of mushy peas on toast
William ( who lost his claw so painfully a few days ago) is milking his disability somewhat ( a trait in Welsh Terrier dogs I have to say) and has been sleeping like this on my knee all night after offering me his paw to inspect
He's such a sweet dog
Even though he's a drama queen

Am I Late?

I have always been a late starter

I was last in my class to know what a " blow job" was

I saw my first " x" film* when I was 20

And I had my first spliff when I was 34

I was 11 before I could ride  a bike without stabilizers

I was 18 when I lost my virginity ( yes to a woman)!

And I was 25 when I kissed my first man!

I saw my first ballet at 29

I started my first university course aged 41

And killed my first chicken aged 47

I went to London for the  first time when I was 19

I had my first pub pint when I was 18

And I was 40 before I owned my first dog

I bought my first antique at an auction at the  age of 45

Stopped wearing short pants at 12

And mooned at a group of American tourists when  I was 38

And I was 40 before I fell in love properly for the very first time

What were you a late  starter with?

*x films in the seventies were today's R ( restricted) movies btw