Thursday, 19 December 2013

Disaster!

It was still pitch black outside and several hours before dawn when I woke to the sound of running footsteps on the stairs
The dogs ( with the exception of Winnie) were all asleep in bed with me
And all woke up with a start when the bedroom door burst open with a bang
And framed in the light from the hallway 
Stood Chris
He was panting 
Something was VERY WRONG indeed
What was the calamity, I hear you ask?
A family trauma?
The fairy lights on the tree on fire?
Someone had broken in and had nicked all of the Christmas presses under the tree?
No
It was something so much worse
Measuring his words slowly
Chris told me what the disaster was

" THERE IS A BIG SLUG IN THE PAN CUPBOARD!,"
he gasped



RING THE FRIGGIN POLICE!
I said with a sigh

52 comments:

  1. Oh dear! Did it chase him?

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  2. ps That is the first time I have got in with the first comment…usually about No.53 ! Hooray. Have a lovely day….blue sky and sunshine here in Herts.

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  3. Slug used to be a euphemism here usually in connection with 'big'. I am not sure what I would do if I found one in a cupboard, but I am sure instinct would kick in.

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    Replies
    1. 'Cupboard' used to be a euphemism here as well.

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  4. Ha, that did make me giggle. Bless him. I'm not a fan of slugs either tbh. :-)

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  5. Poor Chris. I am not a fan of them myself.

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  6. AAAARGH!!!!!

    Awful but fascinating things

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  7. This is what used to amaze me about people being scared of zombies - they can be outrun!
    Although I believe that these days zombies can run too.

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  8. Where's Albert when you need him.

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  9. Feed it to the poultry Chris! Poor man!

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  10. Well, you got up and removed it for him, didn't you? That's what a true partner does.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. No, I told him to sod off......
      But I have bleached the cupboard and it's contents outthismorning

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  11. Big girls blouse !!!! haha …. here's hoping that the bleach has done the trick.
    Have a great time in Londinium, capital of England tomorrow John. I think that it looks beautiful. XXXX

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  12. Oh Sweet Baby Jesus, glad he did not faint and get mauled by said slug. See here.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYIOH4b6A-A

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  13. And they never come in via the front door either.

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    Replies
    1. Never mind having the decency to knock first, Cro.

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  14. Fry it up with eggs, add peppers and onions and, voila, breakfast.

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  15. The two of you have a very fascinating life..... My early morning smile. Would love to have seen that.

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  16. One thing gives me the skin crawl as much as a chafer grub, and that's a snail. Not good for a gardener eh? I'm with Chris.

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    Replies
    1. Snail/slug.same thing to me.

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  17. He's such a girl lol.

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  18. Ugh.
    I'm with Chris on that one. After decades of gardening I still find them absolutely revolting. Glad you bleached the cupboard.

    My worst encounter was finding a dead one in the tub of fish food for our pond fish.

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  19. That is hilarious! I was shocked when I found a slug trail on my living room carpet but no sign of a slug!

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  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. Did you tell him where the salt was?
      Jane x

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  21. We used to pour salt on slugs... when I got older I found that beer works well too.... but why waste a good beer on a slug?

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  22. What was Chris doing up so early in the morning in the pan cupboard in the first place? Did you ask him that?

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  23. EWWWW! Slug SLIME!!!
    I don't know how big they are in Wales John but I remember my first encounter with one on the west coast of Canada.....the size of dog poop!! A big dog's poo!!!

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    Replies
    1. Jim this comment has made my day. I am shaking with laughter! I saw a slug in Ottawa that was bright orange with yellow streaks that is something I have never seen before

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  24. At least it wasn't a spider....

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  25. I bet he doesn't know you blogged about the event.

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  26. We sometimes get slugs in the house. They come in attached to the dogs, probably after the dogs sat down in the garden. The slugs are easy to deal with, but they leave a heck of a lot of trails which need cleaning up. I've seen lots of slugs feasting on dog poo so I can understand why you cleaned so thoroughly. And one of our dogs got lung worm probably from eating a slug.

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  27. I am not a fan of slugs, either. I've not yet seen one in the house, and shall be glad to forego the experience. The ones here are really big. The cats ignore them, and i plead in vain with the birds to eat them.

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  28. Big girls blouse!!

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  29. I have a friend who is the 'slug queen' of the pacific northwest (she's a garden expert) and once traveled all the way to Wales to visit a guy with international renown in slug expertise (did you know there is a white slug variety called Ghost).

    So . . I have to ask, what kind of slug was it? And how did it get into the cupboard? I recall my friend keeping an aquarium of slugs in the kitchen to take to a demonstration at a garden trade show.

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  30. Such a perfect couple. You get to be the hero.

    Merry Christmas.

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  31. I wonder if they're good roasted... with a tad butter and garlic.

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  32. You two are a barrel of laughs! I look so forward to reading your posts.

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  33. John,

    Are you the exterminator in this relationship??

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    Replies
    1. I am in mine, I kill all the spiders!!!!

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    2. Sandy
      Have a look at this old blog entry
      http://disasterfilm.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/rat-under-sofa.html

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  34. Well paybacks can be hell. And I am quite sure there is something coming about in that evil side of your brain.

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  35. If Sheba cat hadn't "played" with it, I'd get the frog under the bookcase to deal with the slug.

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  36. Well, at least there was just one...

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  37. Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  38. LOL I needed a chuckle, Thanks :O)

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  39. I think they come in on the logs for our wood burner. One sunday morning OH bellowed You have left a black mark on the glass (the glass must be clean on our wood burner, apparently it adds to the ambience). Anyways on opening the door it was dirty great ruddy slug.

    I now like to think that when there are loud pops from the wood crackling in the stove that it is a slug exploding. Dirty gits.

    I would have brought a chicken in and let it have at it.

    p.s. your rat post is hysterical. but I think if I had witnessed it I would have cried.

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  40. It would have upset me for a few seconds and then I'd have grabbed it and thrown it in the garden. Jenny would be totally distressed, would refuse to touch it and demand I get rid of it immediately.

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