"Ho ho .............bleeding ho"

Every year I hand deliver around fifty Christmas cards around  Trelawnyd, and every year what should be a leisurely stroll full of festive cheer becomes two hours of dog induced stress as dogs cannot quite grasp the finer points of visiting  strange front doors and new, interesting smelling paths in order to shove a small envelope through a little slot in a door.

Leads get tangled.

Doorsteps are pissed upon

And open doors are invaded.....

So by noon, I and they were all hot , sweaty and Very pissed off and I STILL  had eight envelopes left to deliver at Rhodfa Arthur ( the Welsh for Arthur Avenue) so the prospect of walking all the way round from Well Street , along the main road to the final cul de sac felt one step too far.....

So I took the sneaky short cut, and dragged the dogs through  Beryl  Evans' back garden!

I was just tip toeing past her front door when it opened and a rather surprised Beryl said " hello?"

" your Christmas card" I mumbled offering it to her ...it had a sloppy bite mark on it where I had held it in my mouth after yet another tangle with the dog leads,." you keeping well.?" I asked her in passing

" No .." She said " I'm not feeling very well at the moment"

" oh dear" I said and   marched  off

I just needed a sit down and a cup of tea

The Old Cowboy

After letting the animals out first thing after night shift

I grabbed -a one hour sleep, then took Chris down to the station, walked the dogs and returned

home to catch up with jobs.

I couldn't help noticing  the bundle of feathers lying quietly in the corner of a run when I entered the field......

Without a fuss the blind old rooster Cogburn, like his cinematic namesake, had finally faded into the sunset 

He Sat on his porch so to speak, with his face in the sun, and there, quite suddenly and gently, he had died.

You can't get too sentimental over poultry.

They are scatterbrained scraps of feathers connected together by a beak who die as easily as Christmas cards are thrown in the bin after Boxing Day .

But there was something always so very valliant about Cogburn who lived his small blind life in a chicken wire run without misery and without  resignation.

He just

Got on with  things.

Animals do

A bit later I will take his body down to the badger set in the next field

There is  no point not to recycle his remains

But for the moment

I can't  quite get around to move him from his small , earth floor home

So I will leave him for a while

My old cowboy

Asleep on his porch
with his face in the sun

My old boy

Arhhhhhhhhhh

Like I said I'm on night shifts all weekend

The church bell woke me at 11am
Chris went out for lunch so could not " field" 2 people knocking loudly at the door around 12pm,
and again at 2.30
The phone went around 1pm causing the dogs to howl like wolves
I have had no sleep

Face time

Just received a FaceTime video of Chris enjoying his Christmas dinner with his family( he called in to see them all after working in London today)...
It was nice to see them all tucking into their supper
Even though I had just eaten my dinner of mushy peas on toast
William ( who lost his claw so painfully a few days ago) is milking his disability somewhat ( a trait in Welsh Terrier dogs I have to say) and has been sleeping like this on my knee all night after offering me his paw to inspect
He's such a sweet dog
Even though he's a drama queen

Am I Late?

I have always been a late starter

I was last in my class to know what a " blow job" was

I saw my first " x" film* when I was 20

And I had my first spliff when I was 34

I was 11 before I could ride  a bike without stabilizers

I was 18 when I lost my virginity ( yes to a woman)!

And I was 25 when I kissed my first man!

I saw my first ballet at 29

I started my first university course aged 41

And killed my first chicken aged 47

I went to London for the  first time when I was 19

I had my first pub pint when I was 18

And I was 40 before I owned my first dog

I bought my first antique at an auction at the  age of 45

Stopped wearing short pants at 12

And mooned at a group of American tourists when  I was 38

And I was 40 before I fell in love properly for the very first time

What were you a late  starter with?

*x films in the seventies were today's R ( restricted) movies btw

Memory Games

This needlepoint has been on the the wall of the cottage for years. Only today, did I realize that it was one of those prayers that we learnt and recited at length at primary school when we were six or so.
My memory of my childhood has always been sketchy and I have always wondered if that is a pretty normal situation for a 51 year old in moderately robust health.
As I walked the dogs this morning, I tried to put together a sort of film screenplay  of different times of my early childhood but it was like remembering a film plot from a movie I had never seen....
Tiny  snapshots popped into my head for sure......a tennis racquet in a wooden stretch frame sitting on the Lino floor of my grandmother's house. A small handmade stool my grandfather made. my brother in law-to-be chasing his car down the road after the brake had slipped. But trying to remember any more than snapshots  felt like looking through frosted glass.
It's kind of bugged me today

“The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there."

It's grim up north

Chris is working in London, and suited and booted will be just about tucking into a lovely Meal in a posh restaurant in Covent Garden right now

I am sat in my long John's and woolly hat in front of the fire with a cat on my shoulder

Eating baked beans on toast from my knee

Hey ho

Questions

This questionnaire seems to be doing the blog rounds ?...it's an easy blog " filler" given the only news I have today is the unveiling of my homemade a Christmas Wreath, which some local wag ( you know who you are) described as looking as though it was constructed by someone with ' multiple problems")

1. If there's one chocolate left in the box, do you have to eat it, or can you leave it sitting there?
I would, I am afraid, scoff it. My relationship with food has always been a little bit shaky. Ie one scotch egg will never be enough

2. What do you want to remember most of all, if you survive to be very old?
Well, I would like to be able to remember everything ........from 0 to 80.......and I look forward to the time that I start to remember the smallest of things from childhood...( a time that I don't really remember when I think about it)

3. Would you enjoy being a very rich and famous celebrity?
 I would like to be richer ( I have always had the fantasy of having a detached house with a barn and out buildings) and I would like to experience a celebrity lifestyle for a day or two......just to do the red carpet thing........with a " Poseidon Adventure" dinner jacket on.

4. What piece of music do you personally find most emotionally moving?
Almost too many to mention here but at the moment " The gift of mortality" by James Horner 
And " Remember me" by Thomas Bergersen can move me to tears

5.  How do you deal with depression, anxiety and bad times?
Depression: I never get depressed, never have been and apart from short term worries, normal to the ups and downs of life, I never have experienced a problem with anxiety either.
As for " bad times" at 51 I have had my fair share of them, and I have found that Chris' stoic support, long telephone calls with friends, food, the odd glass or two of white and dog cuddles very helpful.

6. What do you love doing that bores everyone else stiff?
Housework,blogging,cleaning the wrinkles of a bulldog's face with a cotton wool stick, scotch egg eating,writing Christmas cards, making lists, thinking about the zombie apocalypse, collecting fucked up chickens, polishing church pews, rearranging furniture.

7. Did you ever encounter an inanimate object that seemed to have a will of its own?
I am borderline dyspraxic, and so have a tendency to fall over anything and everything. I am so cack handed that I have to take extra care when holding anything breakable

8. What is your very favourite hotel or restaurant?
Well I have stayed in a few lovely hotels in my time including  places like the Waldolf Astoria but my favourite hotel is the shabby chic Santa Maria in Sitges,Spain. 
As for restaurants? I think you can't quite beat the atmosphere of the Oyster Bar under Grand Central Station..

9. Do you think prisoners who have committed particularly vile crimes should be segregated in jail for their own safety?
What on odd question? As long as they recieved some psychological input in order to come to terms with the consequences of their actions....I don't care.

10. What do you wish you had known when you were 18?
I wish I'd known a lot more about sex! 
Oh I would also have liked to be introduced to the joys of scotch egg eating