Ducklings and garlic flavoured dog farts

The ducklings of hysterical runner ducks exhibit the typical panicky traits of their mothers almost as soon as they are born. Immediately as the shed door is opened the two older and more robust babies leg it to the farthest point of their run screaming loudly for help. This in turn brings the dogs galloping out of the house in the hopeful prospect of duckling eating...thus the pattern of behaviour we will have to get used to until the youngsters can be transferred to their proper run on the field, is set hard and fast

Screaming ducklings and over excited dogs.

That's the way it's going to be

A third and final duckling has just hatched late in the incubator on the kitchen top , resulting in some sustained dog jumping and hyperventilation at its constant " peep,peep......peeping"...... The whole kitchen now  smells strangely  of garlic..... As the terriers of Trelawnyd fart merrily away in their excitements ......my fault me think......I treated them all to some cheap garlic sausage when I bought my scotch eggs for tea.....

We all ate our treats in the supermarket car park before coming home

Screaming duckings , garlic farting hysterical dogs ....a slightly surreal night to be sure

Yorkshire Pud

A rather " snatched" photo of the first duckling

Two more are hatching but remain stubbornly slow and one was dead in its shell this morning

This little chap however is ready to come out of the incubator

I am off to a Moving & Handling Study day for work

I would prefer cleaning out the shit fillrd duck house

But hey ho...

I will leave you with a certain poem, penned by the indomitable Yorkshire Pudding

Yesterday..... It was so me me

Yorkshire Puddin's Blog

Have I seen The Earl? -  you say

Oh you mean the flouncing nurse John Gray?

He lives by the corner up on Church Lane

It's rumoured that the bloke's insane.

All manner of birds are kept in his field

Even though his neighbours appealed

He talks to the buggers as well you know

When it's pissing it down or in driving snow.

His Berlingo is a familiar sight

Scotch egg wrappers and covered in shite

His pack of dogs from the Baskervilles

Are often seen chasing him over the hills.

Be careful when you knock on his door.

What do you want to see him for?

Runner ducks, fresh free range eggs?

Or those homemade pies he gets from Greggs?

Oh you're doing a fashion shoot?

Christ, that should be a hoot!

Anorak, wellies and a woolly hat

What will your editor make of that?

I've lived in Trelawnyd all my life

Never had a girlfriend, never a wife

- "The only gay in the village!" - they'd yell

Now the Earl and his fancy man live here as well

Go up there and then turn right

Just follow the smell of the chicken shite

He'll pour you a cup of Earl Gray tea

Then try to do what he did to me!

Never Walk A Dog In Your Pyjamas......& Spring IS here

 

The last job of the evening is a brief dog walk. When bladders have been emptied and the grass verge sniffed, the terriers make their beds for the night and  I can settle down in my big armchair with my " jimjams" on.

My jimjams consist of a extra large pair of Chris' old pyjama bottoms and my second best Walking Dead T shirt....it's an eclectic look.

Last night, I had to take our oldest dog , Meg out for a very late wee. She' s a nervy character and never quite got her bladder working on the dog's final walk of the day...and so, in my jimjams, I sneaked into the lane with Meg on her lead.

I really should have known better

Pyjamas gape at the crotch

And car headlights illuminate every detail

So

Apologies to the two young women driving a white fiat...

I didn't flash  my goolies on purpose

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Errrr , on a brighter note
Life in Trelawnyd is lumbering into spring proper

The Welsh Poppies are flowering in the garden

The broody buff and her chicks are now out in their new run

 

And in the kitchen incubator, there is the little "peep,peep, peep" from the ducklings trapped within their shells, three eggs, so far, are showing those tell tale spider cracks 

from sharp little hatching beaks.

Hey ho

Birthdays

I have just been writing birthday cards

Two of my closest friends have their birthdays very soon

I have known them for decades

And they still look like the characters I first met way back during my Sheffield days

Happy Birthday Nuala 

Happy Birthday Nigel

An early salutation I know.....

I love you bothX

Ps I have also just FLASHED at a local motorist 

I will keep THAT story for tomorrow's blog

Hey ho 

Eurovision....

Yesterday, my MIL Skyped us as she was settling down with a nice glass of white to watch Britain's Got Talent
Apparently she had been chatting to her friend at the gym ( a lady who has a son who is "on the same bus as us"....so to speak) who informed her that The Eurovision Song Contest ( the final of which, was to be shown on the BBC last night)  was heavily supported and enjoyed by the GAY community.
surprisingly, this seemed to be new news to my mother in law....after all why on earth would anyone gay follow something that could not get any camper unless Judy Garland had been exhumed to appear singing a duet with Barry Manilow whilst Liberace accompanied them on the piano?

Now perhaps , for the sake of my follower Fanny who lives in Tasmania, I should explain what Eurovison actually is?........simply put, Eurovision is a camp, kitsch, unfairly judged, international song contest that is gently ridiculed by many and taken incredibly seriously by many more..
It has production values that could keep Malta going for ten years, more divas than in the Joan Collins appreciation society and from it's simple 1950 roots where Judith Chalmers actually rang the judges up on the telephone contraption for their marks....it has become an epic on a par with JJ Abrams Star Trek for it has smoke , mirrors and lots of explosions.....

As a child , I adored Eurovision .
As an adult, I can take or leave it.....but last night.....after enjoying two hours of serial killer lecture... I did find myself drawn into the campy, unreality of the show, as one of the Scandinavian hosts belted out a rubbishy ditty whilst Dancers dressed as large Swedish meatballs bounced around the stage...
No wonder gays from across the globe enjoy it...
More escapism you could only get if you were suffering from a florid schizophrenic episode.

Here is my favourite of the evening... Georgia's " WATERFALL" by the delightfully restrained And remarkably classy looking Sophie Gelovani and the rather dashing Nodi Tatishvili....
They didn't do well, unfortunately, but did get 20 points more than poor Bonnie Tyler.... The old Welsh rocker.....bless her little cotton socks

.

Whodunit ?

 

Well.....who did it?

.........................

Fucked if I know

And no one else seems to know either!

"When eeeee needs meeee" & Thanks To Em Parkinson

Tonight the village gets riddled with " ripper fever" as the long awaited Jack The Ripper lecture comes to the Memorial Hall.Now I did mention to Auntie Glad that she would have made a delightful old Victorian crone if we made her up with a shawl and a basket of lavender and sat her on the village Hall steps , but she said her cockney wasn't up to it.......especially when her    " cor lummy...ave a banana" comes out less like Nancy out of Oliver  and more like Gladys Pugh from Hi De Hi.

I am in two minds setting a bonfire on the allotment next to the memorial Hall at 6.45pm ... Some atmospheric " fog" would set the scene quite beautifully as the punters arrive for their evening of gore.
I'll mention it to affable despot Jason a bit later....I am sure he'll be up for it

Anyhow, I'll close with a big thank you to fellow blogger  Em Parkinson, who from her

Delightful rural backwater in the South East, sent me some of her artwork of Wiliam and 

George ( below)

We collected the framed pictures today and they look beautiful on the cottage wall

Thank you so much Em for making such an effort

And all for the price of a sad scotch egg sent in the post

Em's Blog ( click)

Quite lovely

I am the Object of Bingley's affection

All the males on the field are in a state of testosterone overload

The hysterical runner drakes, Eric the bad tempered Cockerel and even Bingley the turkey are all

" at it" like bleeding Russell Brand in a strip joint

I sit down for a few moments on the field to.pick out a few things for my birthday list

( June 1st BTW)

And I am sexually harassed by the biggest bird on the block