All the males on the field are in a state of testosterone overload
The hysterical runner drakes, Eric the bad tempered Cockerel and even Bingley the turkey are all
" at it" like bleeding Russell Brand in a strip joint
I sit down for a few moments on the field to.pick out a few things for my birthday list
( June 1st BTW)
And I am sexually harassed by the biggest bird on the block
You lucky thing you.
ReplyDeleteI don't think so...... He doesn't know what " to do" so to speak
DeleteMy goodness he's got himself all puffed up over you hasn't he?
ReplyDeleteI am one hot date
DeleteGood to know......
ReplyDeletedoes this make chris jealous?
ReplyDeleteIf he had a bigger penis he would
DeleteI love it that his name is Bingley. He looks pretty big.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
..all it needs is the Barry White track playing in the background, you temptress you!! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's a lurve thang
DeleteHe had two sisters called lizzi and Jane
ReplyDeleteI needed a chuckle, John, thank you!
ReplyDeleteChin up old gal...how's the face?
DeleteStill swollen, not quite as sore though. Thank you.
DeleteHere we hear the wild "Bingleys". There are a couple of flocks of wild turkeys in the area. Early in the morning, the males are very noisy when strutting their stuff. As a rule, they do not come near the garden because there are too many shrubs and trees (where sometime a fox or a coyote will ambush one).
ReplyDeleteWe often see them in the fields - they are leaner than your Bingley - a more stressful life accounts for it no doubt.
Thanks for the comment
DeleteBingley is, as you know an American bourbon turkey....
I should have named him after a true American rather than a Jane Austin hero
couldn't you just let bingley hump your leg and be happy?
ReplyDeleteWould you?
DeleteI got humped by a dog once, couldn't get the little bastard off my leg. Looked like a friggin' dalmatian the next day with all my bruises :-/
ReplyDeleteAre you oming to jack therpper night in trelawnyd tomorrow Hannah?
DeleteI'm afraid not, John. Adam's parents are having a Eurovision 'party' (don't laugh) ;-)
Delete" ripper"
ReplyDeleteYou are almost like the jungle boy, living with animals, 'loved' by animals...
ReplyDeleteAnd adored by people KK lol
DeleteThat part I just forgot.
Delete"He doesn't look very turkey like, but I am so horny, I am past caring."
ReplyDeleteI suspect that testosterone has made him nearly as blind as old Cogburn.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHave a good weekend, John. :-)
You must have been giving him some, "vibes". lol
ReplyDeletePoor Bingley! He's a handsome guy, but somewhat confused.
ReplyDeleteBTW thanks for reminding of your birth date :D Bingley was rather persistent, poor thing!!!
ReplyDeleteA turkey with good taste and one that tastes good too.
ReplyDeleteHappy early Birthday.
The course of true lust never runs smoothly...
ReplyDeleteIt must be annoying if you can only pull the big birds...
ReplyDeleteWhy would any sensible bloke sit in the middle of a field to peruse the Pigeon Fanciers Christmas gift catalogue, in order to compile their birthday wish list? Surely the bog's the correct place. Plus after such a blatant plug for cards, gifts, choccies and flowers, you really do need a good slap. Bingley has obviously taken it on himself to deliver what you really, really want... and that is a good seeing to.
ReplyDeleteJohn, come the 1st of June, a low loader will pull into your lane with a container-load of Scotch Eggs sent from admiring fans. And after eating so many, you will probably fart loudly and fly over the field like frigging Mary Poppins.
LLX
Oh Mr Bingley !
ReplyDeleteHe does seem to like those trainers - cue low lights, barry white and a meal deal for two!
ReplyDeleteI believe the term for a young female turkey is a jenny and as it grows older it becomes a hen. Bingley on the other hand is a tom. He clearly thinks you are a sexy young jenny - perhaps its your look on more likely your personal aroma. My advice would be to close your bedroom window at night. When aroused a tom will not rest till it gets what it wants.
ReplyDeleteBingley's got a foot fetish, and you're provoking him in that video!
ReplyDeleteAh, bird love. My bird Marco gets in the mood from time to time. There's nothing like a horny parrot trying to woo you...they will throw up their last meal onto your hand! It's their version of sharing a romantic meal. LOL
ReplyDeleteWhat's that you said at the end? 'Bugger off' or 'Carry on'?
ReplyDeleteEls
Bugger off ... Cheeky mare
ReplyDeleteYou turkey magnet you.
ReplyDelete