A Toy Boy Down The Lane

The ducks have been playing up 

Led by the three drakes, Halleh, and the new boys Bert & Ernie, all eight have been disappearing through the snow damaged fencing to wander across the horse livery pastures and down into the lane.

A rather bedraggled middle aged woman knocked on the cottage window at lunchtime, just as I was settling down with a coffee and Just A Minute, and told me that they were out on the road.

She informed me that " her David" was stood guarding them and asked if I could sort them out.

We wandered down the lane and after thanking David who was a dishy looking twenty something and still holding my mug of coffee in my hand, I yelled at the ducks to get their arses back in the field.

Ducks may be thick as mince,

But when they are bollocked, they tend to return to places they know and love.

So as the ducks panicked, ran in a few circles before galloping  home, I turned to the woman and said

"Thank you.... It was lucky that you and your son was about"

The scruffy looking  woman pursed her lips slightly

" He's not my son, he's my husband"

She said with a slight hardness in her voice.

And neither of them reacted at all

When I said with an embarrassed and slightly camp 

"Oohhh............lucky you!"

Bert and Ernie ( their feathers already back to a cracking condition) are 4th and 2nd from the right

A Brief Regret

I am very lucky as I get on remarkably well with my MIL.
We both work at it, good relationships have to be worked at.
But with her it is an easy path of friendship which I hope I have reciprocated over the fourteen years or so I have known her.
Chris never really had a chance to meet and know my mother.It is a fact that I regret somewhat for they would have made a sparkling pair of jousting partners.
My mother enjoyed a good debate , especially after a  bucket of gin and tonic. Chris enjoys a debate any time of day and with his razor sharp academic mind coupled with her waspish tongue, I suspect that if she had lived into her eighties, they would have made for  the oddest couple of friends.
She would have amused him, for she would have reflected the sharp and typically Northern humour Chris seems to enjoy in me and he would have provided her with a challenge.
Someone who would not have let her rule the roost , so to speak.
Mind you, I could be totally wrong about this.
They could have detested each other with a passion.
But I like to think that they would have been, if not bosom friends, well an interesting couple of jousting partners, par excellence

TWD

Last Episode in 15 mins......boo hoo

Light & Noise

In the winter this woolly hat is never off my head.

Not only is it a panacea to all of the negative elements the winter has to throw at me. it doubles as a handy chicken wrap ( Eric fits snugly inside it when I have to spray his sore arse on a daily basis) and it can hold a dozen eggs quite easily if I have forgotten the collecting bowl.

I will wear the bloody thing 24/7 if Chris allows it and I have even been known to wear it in bed ( pulled down over my eyes), as the arrival of British Summer time has meant that dawn bursts forth around 6 am......early morning light wakes me up as easily as a fat man banging a drum would do.

The cockerels ( all seven of them) start crowing before dawn.  It used to worry me, as we have three sets of neighbours that flank the field, but after taking a straw poll of opinions it is clear that non of the residents of the lane are really bothered by the noise. 

In actual fact most say  that when they hear a particularly loud cock-a - doodle - do, they are actually reassured by it for it means that the roosters are still firing on all cylinders......it's the same phenomenon of someone who lives next to a railway or under a flight path...........you get so used to the noise so much that you fail to hear it anymore.

This morning, as I lay half asleep in bed with my hat over my eyes... I tried to guess what time it was.

The cockerels were crowing intermittently , and the geese were honking their occasional reply but the dogs were still fast asleep in their untidy puddles on the bed and Albert was snoring from his place on the window seat ,so I thought it was still around 6am, and settled down under my hat to go back to sleep.

I think I will stop wearing the hat in bed.........in actual fact, it was well past 8am and the field animals AND my MIL were up and waiting patiently for their breakfasts

     

What's Spanish For Downton Abbey?

sorrel loves her Downton Abbey and so historic houses of any sort provide her with a bit of daydreaming pleasure just like the odd walking zombie fires up my walking Dead juices.
Today's  trip out today children was to our very own nearby Bodelwyddan Castle ( go on you non Welsh readers try pronouncing THAT one)
The castle in its present form dates from the 1840s and today houses many of the nations portrait paintings in partnership with the National Portrait Gallery.
One of my regular readers should enjoy this posts photos as she was a pupil at the castle when it was a girls' school until 1982.So Nia........enjoy the view....I remember very well, picking you up in my old Austin 1300 in the early 80s

The second bump on the far hills, is Trelawnyd's Gop Hill

We had a mooch around the restored Victorian formal rooms and only ran off and left Sorrel when she buttonholed a bemused Spanish museum tour guide to ask where the castle's kitchens were. ( she loves the "downstairs" life of these old houses!)
He had absolutely had no idea what she was on about and tried to explain in terrible English where the cafe was located.
The more she asked where the kitchens and servants' quarters could be found ,the more confused he became, and by the time she started to mention Mrs Patmore from Downton Abbey , he had given up the ghost and had walked away .......... 

After an hour or so enjoying the. House, we had a stroll in the grounds( where I took this "mother and son" portrait before we set off home for tea and buns

Chris NEVER outwardly smiles

Inside he does

Honest

MIL

Sorrel, my mother-in-law....doesn't DO the outdoors

She is pathologically terrified of birds.......

Which doesn't help on her visits here

She is much better suited to a nice coffee and some designer shopping

HOWEVER, she is doing a bit better with the wildlife here at Bwthyn-y-llan

Which includes a moment of closeness with American  turkey stag Bingley ( below)

Her country experience lasted 20 minutes

She has now gone to Chester with Chris for some retail therapy

and some clean pavements

I am making her a birthday tea later

Now where do I find 70 candles

The Walking Dead Finale

Daryl & Carol:  A brief moment of warmth amid the undead

Thank goodness for YouTube. 

After MIL went to bed ( suitably impressed she was with the sanitary state of the cottage BTW)  I found a Spanish version of The Walking Dead Finale and enjoyed a zombie filled 45 minutes three days before it airs in the Uk.

How sad am I?

Now I think I must clarify just why I love this series, right here and right now.....

It is in fact that

the whole thing reminds me of those 1970 disaster movies of my youth......

Sure it's all a bit of a blood fest......and undoubtedly it panders to the teenage viewing public, but the small- group-of-varied-humanity that has to band together to survive the zombie  apocalypse is basically a The Towering Inferno tale with undead gore thrown in......it's as simple as that!

* spoilers!

And so the finale had poor Andrea ( the civil rights lawyer) seen off by the nerdy but likeable zombiefied Milton,

Whilst the pantomime baddie Governer killed most of  his own people in a hissy fit worthy of Joan Crawford

The prison group survived intact until series 4, which was nice........earth mother Carol held asperger Daryl's hand for a couple of seconds ( sweet) Hershel snitched on fledgling psychopath Carl and Rick finally stopped hallucinating ,which was a frigging blessing..........all this mental illness bored me titless

I enjoyed it......even though the whole thing was cut to hell in the editors room......

Hey. Ho......series 4 does not air until the autumn...............you will be zombie free until then..........

O.D.R

I have become disorientated with yesterday's bank holiday and for some reason thought that today was Monday. It isn't of course, a fact that has thrown chez Trelawnyd into a bit of a disarray for today is in fact, the day that my mother-in -law arrives.
.....and as Terry Wogan always said......" there's not a child in the house washed"

Dog snot on windows........harder to remove than concrete

Regular readers of Going Gently will know that Operation Dog- Snot Removal (O.D.R) is about to begin. 

This event usually comprises of a few hours of slightly hysterical scrubbing, buffing and dusting, accompanied with moments of bad temper, yelled phrases of " DON'T WALK ON THE FU*KING....FLOOR I'VE JUST MOPPED IT!" and of course  periods of excitable weeping

It's a well walked road which most children-in-law in this world will recognise.

Being prepared and making the effort before a visit equates to being respectful.

It may be old fashioned

But it is as ingrained in me, as deeply as childhood memories.

Luckily I have already made a cake, so I only have 100 things to do..........

I must be quick though, I have got to lather Eric's arse with antibacterial spray before the kitchen gets bleached............and I have just spied a substantial mound of cat puke behind the toilet...............