Aggressive Sex

Thought that title would get my page reader clicking!
One of the reasons that I let my animals "free range" over their acre of land, is that they have space and opportunity to escape the bullies among their own ranks.
When I say bullies, I also clump into this category the small but vital group of male animals that "oversee" the ranks so to speak.
In spring, the gander, Turkey stags, cockerels and guinea cocks, become rampant.
Fuelled with testosterone, and with sap overflowing, they wrestle,joust and shag themselves stupid, an event that is almost too painful to watch and one which is potentially dangerous to several of the "more favoured" or indeed slow witted members of the female population.

Clapped out or Shagged out?

Theresa, the old female turkey has been such a casualty
Thick as mince and physically as nimble as Clarissa Dixon Wright, she has been somewhat pounded by Boris, who has found his mojo this year after losing it so graphically after his theatrical collapse of last year.
Turkey sex is rough and somewhat bloody ( I am writing this as an observer and not from  first hand experience!) Sharp claws and heavy bodies can wreak havoc and if you are not vigilant some very nasty injuries can result.
Only this morning, I caught sight of a particularly nasty injury on Theresa. It was hidden away just under her wing and might well have been there for some time as it looked ragged and foul.
(I have not included a photo here as some of you may be eating your wheatybangs at this ungodly Hour)
I cleaned it the best I could ( I am single handed at the moment as Pat my animal helper is away on a cruise) , sprayed the whole area with purple antiseptic spray and separated the old gal into her own run with water and corn ( which she ate with gusto)
Here's hoping she will not become septic ...I suspect she may be ok.....really dumb animals have a tendency to pull through regardless.


Theresa is not the only victim of domestic violence on the field. Several of the indian runners have balding patches on the back of their heads where the single drake secures a good hold of them before banging them silly in the pond and one or two of the slower hens are looking a little shopworn after  being surprised from behind a little more than usual.......


I am thinking of playing soothing music at them all through loudspeakers
Perhaps that will reduce the noticeable increase in male posturing

hey ho

Derbyshire Jaunt

It was a trip down memory lane today as I accompanied neighbour Carol to Derbyshire to pick up her Welsh Terrier puppy. Not only did I reconnect with some of my favourite places (The Pennines,Bakewell, Chatsworth, Buxton and Matlock, I caught up with a friend, the slightly eccentric Susan, who is a Welsh Terrier breeder of some National repute.

We bought all our terriers from Susan when we lived in Sheffield and after we moved to Wales,.which is no mean feat, I can tell you, as she interviews any prospective owner within an inch of their life.

If you don't cut the mustard with her, then you don't get the dog! Plain and simple!

I remember when we went to "view" our first Welsh Terrier Finlay, I made the mistake of scooping him up into my arms to cuddle him. Susan stopped what she was doing and said pointedly

"If you drop that puppy..you will leave here empty handed"

AND she meant it!......I have known people that might of got through the first round of "telephone interviews" with her fall at the second face-to-face interview for being late for a puppy viewing

"If they can't be on time for viewing a puppy..they don't deserve owning one" I remember her saying

I thank goodness , Chris and I passed her interviews with flying colours.

I love people like Susan. They are bright, passionate and dedicated to their animals. Making a quick "buck" from selling a puppy is the last thing on her mind,after all, to her, it is the matching up of right dog to the right owner which is her sole challenge in business.

In this day and age of a quick buck, where scumbag breeders are banging out poor bloodline dogs in puppyfarm conditions, Susan's "if you are not right for my dog then fuck you" attitude, remains as refreshing and vital as the puppies themselves, and seeing her and experiencing that "say it like it is", no nonsense pragmatism, made me wish that I too was bringing another puppy home with me.

Does that make me a potential animal hoarder?

I don't think so.... I just think,( and I believe this quite honestly)

that I just have a big, needy, animal biased heart

Soulless and Faceless

The Weather remains somewhat unfortunate today, so we were at a bit of a loss what to do with the mother-in-law. After detailed discussions we decided to venture over the Welsh Border to a fairly local "shopping and entertainment outlet" where Chris and his mum went to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, a film that I enjoyed but would be buggered if I would sit through it all again!, so I searched the meagre film offerings on offer and ended up finding a single showing of the Norwegian thriller Hodejegerne (Headhunters)
I guessed that a subtitled film was a rarity at the multiplex as the 12 year old ticket taker felt she had to mention that I was going into a "foreign" movie adding in way of explanation, that "some people walk out when they realise that they have to read subtitles"
I just about stopped myself from jumping into silly sarcasm, and merely said with a smile
that "I could cope"
I bloody hate these faceless "out of town all-singing and all dancing" shopping centres, but when needs must, I suppose they do serve a purpose........at least the film was good!

Aksel Hennie, before the  shit bath

Hodejegerne is interesting thriller. Think of "The Thomas Crown Affair" ( the one with Rene Russo), add a big dollop of 1940s Film Noir and cross with the brutality of say Fargo and you will get a flavour of what Headhunters is all about.
It stars the rather short and odd looking Aksel Hennie who plays professional headhunter and secret art thief Roger Brown. Brown has a beautiful, loyal and oh so tall Amazonian wife (Synnøve Macody Lund) who he cheats on; a challenging work life in the shape of nemesis entrepreneur Claus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), who is not what he seems, and a criminal life that leads him into murder and mayhem.
As Brown's life unravels, he embarks on a terrifying cat and mouse game with a psychopathic killer which includes a horrendous fist fight with a savage fighting dog, a bloody chase through the Norwegian countryside and a particularly disgusting delve into a pit of human excrement! and as we watch his trials and tribulations the audience warms to this previously unsympathetic "little man" character, which is a rather clever and nice touch , I thought as you start the film hating his driven personality, and end the movie cheering his resourcefulness .....

It's a tight, interesting and rather stylish thriller. Just the ticket on a Tuesday afternoon
8/10

Fatima Krumcakes, The Saltburn Yarnbomber and The Bootle-Bumtrinket

It's pouring down here
I have walked the dogs and got wet,
Cleaned the duck house out and got very wet
and have just delivered some eggs and got wet.
Unsurprisingly it is going to be a wet day.


After sitting in the living room arm chair, looking out into the grey middle distance, like some sort of Kentish Jane Austen, Chris and his mother have climbed into the berlingo to do some shopping.
The cottage is quiet and is as clean as I can make it given the damp weather.

The Work of The Saltburn YarnBomber

At Breakfast Sorrel had me in tucks. Out of nowhere and much to Chris' irritation, she embarked on a bit of a marathon in recalling a story she had seen on the television about a "phantom knitter"
Apparently, she remembered , that an "unknown knitter" of some repute had been secretly tying a whole array of hand crafted items onto a " Pier" up North. 
The phenomenon had become to be known as the work of the  The Saltburn Yarnbomber; a phrase which I have found dreadfully amusing in itself.
Some words and phrases set out to delight and amuse 
I can think of two which have stuck in my mind just recently
The first is the name given to the naturalist Gerald Durrell's boat when he was a boy living in Corfu. His older brother, the writer Lawrence Durrell Christened the home-made craft The Bootle-Bumtrinket, completely out of nowhere, and the name, still has me chuckling helplessly when I re read My Family And Other Animals, which is one of my most favourite novels

Lawrence Durrell (centre) with Gerald ( right) and family

The second favourite phrase is in fact a name I caught reading Shooting Parrots Random Thoughts in A Random World blog.
In his entry about Google whacking he mentions the name Fatima Krumcakes in passing.
It was so Roald Dahl in it's silliness, that it caught me unawares and got me giggling like a schoolboy reading The Sun.
Has anyone else out there been entertained with similar silly phrases, names and words?
Answers on a post card!


*******************************************************************************
The rain is still lashing down. 
Chris and his mum are bickering over the best way to try to stuff one of our old pig's pork joints into the oven, and I have taken over Chris' position at the living room window, watching the rain........
Happy Bank Holiday

Pals

Prestatyn pals 1960

This 1960s photo was sent to me by a colleague at work whose Grandmother "Greta" ( second from left) was my mother's best friend. My father ( with the very large drink and fag) is holding court centre stage while my mother (far right) is looking rather pensive.
I feel that I should know the lady who is flashing her gusset to the camera, but her name eludes me for the time being.
Take away the cigarettes and change the fashion style somewhat and this photo could have been taken only yesterday. 
It provides a bit of a testament to the power and necessity of friendship and just how vital it is for all of us,to have someone " to be silly with".......it is a lovely photo!
I know I skit Tom Stevenson somewhat for always starting a post with the phrase "I have a friend....."
Looking at the above photo, all I can really say to him as he pens another "friend post" is, you are, indeed a very lucky man!

"Fiddle-de-dee"

I must thank Miss Scarlet over at http://talesfrombeyondthenook.blogspot.co.uk/ for her wonderful detective work last night. In a series of emails she has furnished me with some intriguing information about the family Morgan ( see previous post) and their presence in and around Trelawnyd at the turn of the century.

It was very kind of her, especially as she took the time to send me invaluable snippets of census records

When I have a bit more time after Sorrel goes home, I will get stuck in with more research!

Tonight I am working, and so will be disappearing back to bed this afternoon. Chris and Sorrel have gone to Chester shopping for the day, so I am determined to have a quiet day!

As I type this, I have just spied Peter Ellis walking his dog in the lane.

He looks annoyed and is rubbing his head

A collared dove sitting on the power lines has just shat on his head....

That is hopefully the most exciting thing that will happen today!

The Rectory Path

The Rectory Path

 In the old Churchyard, there is a rough path leading from the church to the old rectory next door. I use it to deliver eggs  and often read the inscriptions on the graves as I go.
Many of the older gravestones were removed and levelled by the council nearly 40 years ago now.
It was the fashion then for old, previously unkempt graveyards to be streamlined and cleared of "clutter" in order for the bigger sit on lawnmowers to gain access.
It was such a shame, as some wonderfully historic stones were removed or downed, their inscriptions fading away under grass, lichen and rainfall, but at least, thanks to the likes of my animal helper Pat, before the stones were altered, historical information was documented from the stones to be held in the records department at Hawarden
There is one gravestone, by the path that has caught my imagination. It is the grave of three siblings all from a farming family of Morgan who lived in the imposing farmhouse "Ochr-y-Gop" which still can be seen just off High Street.
In 1903 Arthur the 17 year old son of Edward and Mary Morgan died and was buried, followed in 1906 by his 28 year old sister Eleanor and then a year later their 26 year old brother Edward was buried there too

The Morgan "sibling" gravestone

I have no way of knowing just why these three siblings died. I cannot find their parents grave either, but I have sort of promised myself  that I will find a little more about who they all were and how and why they all died in such a short timescale of one another.
My first port of call will be the farmhouse itself, as I know brother and sister, Basil and Mona, who have lived their all of their lives. They may be able to furnish me with my first clue about the Morgans.

Mum-in-law

Mother and Son

Just waiting for the mum-in-law to arrive, so I have a few sneaky minutes of blogging to share!
As I said yesterday, I am extremely lucky having Sorrel as a mother in law.
She's sociable, easily pleased, undemanding and house trained
She is also young-at-heart. terrified to the point of abject hysteria of mice and birds (yes not a good mix with our lifestyle what?) and in her smart "Broadstairs" designer wear, is certainly not built for schlopping through mud with a pig under her arm.
But I do love her dearly!
Like any retired lady of independent means who has a middle aged gay son, Sorrel has often gone on holiday with the two of us,These "adventures" have always proved to be  entertaining affairs, as something "unfortunate" often seems to happen to her when abroad
I have blogged about this before, but I think the story of her first day at the rather select resort of Sitges in Spain is worth repeating for comic effect !
We arrived at Sitges by train, which was not a good move as Sorrel who is a trusting little soul, got herself pick pocketed by two Albanian scumbags before she got off the coastal express!
Hyperventilating and shaky we got her to the very select hotel, checked her into her lovely sea view room with instructions to , freshen up, get changed and meet  us downstairs at the heaving lunchtime restaurant for a stiff gin and tonic and a rejuvenating lunch!
And so, a short time later, dressed classicaly all in black, Sorrel met us outside the hotel where hoards of affluent Spaniards were enjoying their late lunches at the open air dining area.
As we ventured out onto the pavement to pick a table, Sorrel slipped out of one flower encrusted sandal and immediately fell into a large, shallow and incredibly dusty manhole!
It seemed like an absolute age before she managed to climb out, and as "older" ladies have a want to do when they fall over, she rolled over several times before managing to get to her feet!
Chris, mortified with the spectacle of his mother looking as though she had been trampled by a herd of buffalo hissed "Get up get up!!!!!!!!!" rather too loudly as Sorrel, sandal-less and filthy  clambered out of the hole in front of a hushed restaurant
And were was I when all this was happening?
Yes...I was hiding in a nearby doorway , sobbing in hysterics
And that was only day one
hey ho 

The Santa Maria Hotel Sitges (right)