Thursday, 12 April 2012

Aggressive Sex

Thought that title would get my page reader clicking!
One of the reasons that I let my animals "free range" over their acre of land, is that they have space and opportunity to escape the bullies among their own ranks.
When I say bullies, I also clump into this category the small but vital group of male animals that "oversee" the ranks so to speak.
In spring, the gander, Turkey stags, cockerels and guinea cocks, become rampant.
Fuelled with testosterone, and with sap overflowing, they wrestle,joust and shag themselves stupid, an event that is almost too painful to watch and one which is potentially dangerous to several of the "more favoured" or indeed slow witted members of the female population.

Clapped out or Shagged out?

Theresa, the old female turkey has been such a casualty
Thick as mince and physically as nimble as Clarissa Dixon Wright, she has been somewhat pounded by Boris, who has found his mojo this year after losing it so graphically after his theatrical collapse of last year.
Turkey sex is rough and somewhat bloody ( I am writing this as an observer and not from  first hand experience!) Sharp claws and heavy bodies can wreak havoc and if you are not vigilant some very nasty injuries can result.
Only this morning, I caught sight of a particularly nasty injury on Theresa. It was hidden away just under her wing and might well have been there for some time as it looked ragged and foul.
(I have not included a photo here as some of you may be eating your wheatybangs at this ungodly Hour)
I cleaned it the best I could ( I am single handed at the moment as Pat my animal helper is away on a cruise) , sprayed the whole area with purple antiseptic spray and separated the old gal into her own run with water and corn ( which she ate with gusto)
Here's hoping she will not become septic ...I suspect she may be ok.....really dumb animals have a tendency to pull through regardless.

Theresa is not the only victim of domestic violence on the field. Several of the indian runners have balding patches on the back of their heads where the single drake secures a good hold of them before banging them silly in the pond and one or two of the slower hens are looking a little shopworn after  being surprised from behind a little more than usual.......

I am thinking of playing soothing music at them all through loudspeakers
Perhaps that will reduce the noticeable increase in male posturing
hey ho


  1. eww, you've put me right off my toast !
    ( don't eat wheety bits )

  2. I saw a lone female mallard being gang-banged by about 7 drakes on the river the other day. Nature, eh? It's all sex and violence.

  3. Several of my hens spend the day by the garden bird table - to avoid the advances of my Buff Orpington cockerel - one of the hens has a bald patch in the middle of her back - he's a big lad and a bit rough to say the least.

  4. Sheesh. I've always (naively) thought of birds as being so gentle. Another myth shattered. Thanks John.

  5. my mum has some chickens and they too are being severely hammered by the cockerels.... I've heard, and on't quote me on this, but you can clip the cockerel's spurs at this time of year by way of damage limitation to the poor hens!! Judging by the state of the hens I've seen, this would be greatly appreciated!!

  6. Mr Fox
    yes you can clip the spurs but generally the damage is done with the feet as they "climb " aboard the females!

  7. Anonymous9:56 am

    Stop it, John, I am in mourning and not supposed to laugh. Yes, your head line bang on. I will not be drawn and slaughtered over philosophizing (in this public place) whether sex is, per se, aggressive or not.

    Tom aka Hippo may, and most likely will, be so very pleased that your descriptive intro immediately made me think of his gallant self. Are you suggesting that whilst 'favoured' I am 'slow and dim witted'?

    Anxious to hear from you lest I let myself done an injury.


  8. Anonymous9:58 am

    "shop worn" made me laugh

  9. I have this vision of you wandering the fields in your CSI suit complete with your rape kit.

  10. I'm sure she will improve with your care.

    For insect porn check

    Like minds for this day.

  11. I don't know much about this but an uncle of mine always kept his rooster(s) apart from the hen especially during the "hot" season!

  12. Anonymous1:31 pm

    maybe you could restrict access to the females to one or two hours a day???

  13. Goodness, it's a battlefield out there. Where's St John Ambulance when you need them?

  14. Goodness, it's a battlefield out there. Where's St John Ambulance when you need them?

  15. gail (loved it)
    as for the sex title
    300 page views so far today!

  16. Sounds like the alleyway behind a nightclub.
    Jane x

  17. Our turkey (male) Sunset has been reaking the same havoc here. Thought our 4 year grandson alikely candidate and tried to mount him!! We taught the tyke how to carry a big turkey stick and how it is OK to bash him if he comes near. People being more important than turkeys you know, but now he thinks he should carry the stick to preschool cause "some of the girls there are mean"

  18. Well music certainly couldn't hurt!
    Hope Theresa recovers well.
    Have a great evening!

  19. Lordy John! I was afraid to click on your blog this morning lol.

  20. The springtime boinkfest has hit here too. Best wishes for Theresa Turkey's speedy recovery.

  21. Anonymous7:04 pm

    And here I considered Spring as a gentle season. I just have to contend with blackbuck buck chasing a female across my back yard.

  22. Oh my word whatever happened to romance?

  23. Maybe you should put bell collars on those frisky males to give the females fair warning that if they don't get outta Dodge, they're about to become ... a couple.

  24. Anonymous9:26 pm

    Well, that's sobering. It would be hard for me not to interfere...I'd be having transfer moments with the females all over the place.

    Where in the world did humans come up with such a different idea of what sex is supposed to look like? (other than S&M of course.) "Making love?" I gotta wonder, who made that up and got it to stick?


  25. Watching animals "at it" makes me think that the idea of respectful human coupling is just another comfort of modern civilisation - something that has to be learned rather than being inate. Any idea (often propounded in the seventies and eighties) that only humans were capable of rape was completely laid to rest for me by watching the mallard ducks on the canal where drakes drowned a female by gang-banging her.
    Good luck with the caring.

  26. Anonymous11:16 pm

    Hey John, I was wondering if you could help me. You wrote a blog post a while back about taking a walk with the dogs (was it Mabel back then?) along a country road and seeing a figure up ahead under the trees. But when you looked twice he was gone, and you weren't certain what exactly it was you'd seen. I've poked around with the Search function a little but haven't been able to find it. Do you remember the title or some key words I could use? Or even better...can you find me the link? It's one of my favorite posts...I absolutely loved the fact that you actually talked about it!

    I'd be in your debt... Dia

  27. Anonymous11:20 pm

    P.S. Oops...I meant Constance. xoxox

  28. Well, as long as they're only sexually aggressive, and not sexual predators, this may be OK. Just mind what you have in your computer when the RSPCA folks come calling.

  29. dia
    it was on a post called

  30. I found myself returning from a walk last week shouting "Don't rape your mother!" as one of the drakes climbed on board for some shenanigans. Good thing the neighbours aren't wtihin earshot.

    Hope turkey-girl will heal up okay!


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