Three Baths

scummy water in my THIRD bath of the day

Today, I started to clear the old pig enclosure of a year's pig rooting debris.

If I could have chosen a different location for it, I think I would have done as in its present location at the bottom of the field the pen has a tendency to become boggy, especially after several hundred weight of pork had been rooting about in it.

One part of the pen remains dreadfully dirty, and after the recent downpours I could still make out pools of pig urine soaking the surface of the mud....not a nice area in which to work!

I was down there not five minutes when it started to lash down with rain, and remembering that I had left the tops off the feed bins I tried an "overly fast tip toe" kind of jog over the mud and back to the field, like the old stupid fart that I am!

BIG MISTAKE

My left  short welly disappeared into the mud almost up to the knee and the momentum of my body tore my foot out of it again and I kind of toppled arm, shoulder and head first into the biggest pool of piss and shit this side of Dyserth!

The smell was dreadful! and all I could think of, as I dragged myself to the surface was the fact that my digital camera was tucked away in my pocket. My foot then came out of my other wellie shoe as I tried to get to my feet and I had lost my woolly hat somewhere....and with shit all up my nose and in my ear I struggled out of the pen.

I am such a clumsy tit, I am always falling over, but this was my biggest and best pratfall to date! 

With only one rubber shoe on, I staggered back to the cottage, praying that no one would see me and in front of an astonished group of dogs I stripped off completely in the kitchen and retrieved the shit stained digital camera from out of my pocket

The dirt AFTER my SECOND BATH!-The Camera took an AGE to clean off

I cleaned and dried the camera (and tested it when I was having my second bath!!!! amazingly it is still working) and have just finished the last of three baths in order to get rid of the stench.

My jogging bottoms have been thrown in a bin bag with my socks and underwear and I still haven't bothered trying to locate my lost shoe.... I am presently wrapped up in my dressing gown, towels and a blanket on the couch

At times like these....I fantasise about living in the clean and tidy city

The Decendants

Clooney and the luminous Shailene Woodley

I wanted a few hours away from the village today.
And a couple of hours of passable coffee, the paper and a good film seemed like a good idea
The Descendants and a trip to the scala cafe was that good idea.

In it George Clooney gives a winning performance as a middle aged man who is caught up with a whole series of emotional and family traumas which coincide with the fatal injuring of his wife in a boating accident.

Clooney plays Hawaii landowner and workaholic lawyer Matt King, a man that has become distanced from his fun loving wife Elizabeth, foul mouthed teenage daughter Alex (Shailene Woodley) and precocious ten year old daughter Scottie (Amara Miller).

As the family gather , they need to deal with Elizabeth's coma and imminent death and Matt has to forge a new relationship with his family, his daughters dim but well intentioned boyfriend, Sid, (Nick Krause) and his wife's secret life, which has just come to light.

The Descendants is not as complicated a film as it could be. It has a lightness about it ( well between some wonderfully emotional but unsentimental scenes of the reactions of grief) and this lightness is thanks primarily to Clooney and to Woodley, who is simply brilliant in the role of Alex, a girl who grows in maturity as she gets to understand and support her father,
Their scenes together shine magnificently!

Mind you, not everything in Alexander Payne's movie is as impressive as the acting. Some of the second half of the story ( where Matt confronts his wife's lover at a beautiful Hawaiian resort) does drag just a little bit. It is though the pace of the first half suddenly peters away for some obscure reason.

However this is a very small criticism of an enjoyable adult film in which Clooney is a true and likeable delight

8/10

Delete

A friend has just text-ed me (hello Jane!)
I replied but saw my Brother's telephone number in the contacts of my phone
as I did so
It  was so hard "deleting" his number

A Story Without Words

Who Needs Spielberg when 12 photos can tell a story......

A Bargain Bucket Chicken ( & Postscript)

 Monday's are a bit of catch up days, as on weekends I don't do a great deal on the field

(Chris time!) After collecting animal feed from the farm shop and delivering eggs, I was walking back towards the cottage when I noticed a brand new orange bucket covered by a small square of old carpet sitting  by the front door.

Immediately I thought that the doctor's wife Pippa had been leaving some garden greens for the birds ( a thing she does regularly) but then noticing again the piece of carpet, I thought to myself

here was another small waif or stray to be looked after

I was right.

For sitting quite calmly in the bucket was a mature looking but bright eyed white hen.

There was no note.... no message.... just a knackered old chicken in a bucket

I have named her Kentucky

POSTSCRIPT

Just found a short note pushed through the door (that's why I didn't find one with the orange bucket!)

Apparently said chicken was "found" far down the lane and was brought "back home " by a F Kenwood....It won't surprise anyone that it was not my hen!!

ps

Weight watchers weigh in 14 stone 9 lbs

Weight Gain!!!!! 1lb

shit!

The Woman In Black

The Woman In Black as I recall was an atmospheric and rather creepy stage play

The film adaptation staring Daniel Radclife and his rather attractive acting sideburns is a complete pile of mildly scary tosh

My previous blog entry for today was far more interesting

Don't bother your arse with this one

6/10

Old Dog...... New Tricks

Last night we fell off the wagon

My sister cooked the family a fantastic "St David's Day" meal.

And so mentally we threw away the weightwatchers manual and just enjoyed the food for what it was!

tapas nibbles, prawns in white wine and garlic,pate and hummus, lamb shank that melted in your mouth, potatoes in a creamy sauce.......chocolate cheese cake and of course too many gin and tonics........

We ate as if it was our last supper and enjoyed every friggin' fatty, fat bastard bit of it......

Tomorrow's weigh in shall be interesting

Anyhow

At the moment I cam cooking a somewhat "pared down" Sunday lunch while Chris is in Church

The dogs have all been out for their long walk and are lined up waiting for their dinner, and I have just realised that Mabel now understands that she is indeed now called....Mabel!

It has taken her a while to learn this.

For the name she was originally christened with, was a somewhat saccharine sounding "Jasmine"

Now as some of my regular readers will know only too well, I absolutely love irony....but even I would draw the line at naming a bulldog, with a set of front teeth like a row of bombed houses such a flowery name.

Indeed when she first arrived at the cottage only a few months ago now, Chris' eyebrows did some of his characteristic Roger Moore arches, when I told him her name, especially given the fact that she was at the time farting with all of the delicacy of the Queen Mary's fog horn

"Jasmine" he repeated with a sigh, as another fart rang out " How appropriate!"

And so I felt a new name was in order.

People who own more than two dogs ( Kim?) will tell you that naming a dog is not as simple as it may appear. The trick with a name is to pick one that is individually "sounding" whether it be a different number of syllables to the other dogs' names or a very different delivered name.

Something like Muffy and Fluffy is not really a wise choice.........not unless you want the neighbours to realise that you are an Essex Girl and you are happy owning a pair of effeminate sounding dogs with an identity problem

I have always named our dogs with old fashioned "proper " names....

and in "Jasmine's" case the solid, farmer's wife name of Mabel seemed to fit perfectly

Mabel is the name of a woman with ham like arms, a big bosom and an even bigger heart!

Today I whispered her name as I cut the greens for lunch, and slowly she dragged herself off the kitchen sofa and came to see what I wanted......

success........

Coping

The sad suicide of policeman David Rathband two years after he was blinded by gunman Raoul Moat, once again has brought into the spotlight the subject of self determination, particularly when it is related to ending one's own life.

In my time dealing with people that have been paralysed by sudden trauma, I have only come across two people that have decided that suicide was an option open to them.

One suffered from a severe mental disorder prior to their accident and subsequent disability, and would have, I am sure, committed suicide "whatever the weather" while the other, a man who had been paralysed from the neck down for over 18 years took his own life as a result of the death of a relative and carer.

Having said this, many patients talked about suicide during their time on rehabilitation, whilst more , I am sure, contemplated the idea silently when they experienced their darker moments post injury, whether it be in hospital or at home when life was said to have "normalised".

I have a strong stance on this subject.

As long as a person is not clinically depressed and as long as they know the full facts about their abilities after the intensive rehabilitation process is completed then if they feel suicide is what they decide for themselves..then "so be it"

And this in precis form would be what I would say to patients who ventured suicidal ideas.

People who are deeply depressed cannot be objective.......

People who don't know the full facts cannot be objective either

( and before anyone shouts I know non of us can be truly objective, but we can, I think be more balanced and clear in our thinking)

Listening and accepting what people are experiencing is vital too, as just being able to say the words without  experiencing a reaction of horror, shock or fear can be part of the healing process in itself.

Sometimes the acknowledgement of just how bad someone feels is just enough to allow that person to soldier on.

and "Soldier on," is what the majority of people do in fact .

Faced with huge challenges and massive changes to all parts of their daily lives, in my experience people just get on with things... they find a way of coping,

As it turns out for most of us, living is more important than the alternative.

But it's not always the case.........