"I'll admit I may have seen better days,
but I'm still not to be had for the price of a cocktail,
"(Margo Channing)
Delete
A friend has just text-ed me (hello Jane!)
I replied but saw my Brother's telephone number in the contacts of my phone
as I did so
It was so hard "deleting" his number
I still cannot bear to delete the numbers of long-dead friends from my phone, and - once or twice - I called my dead parent's number about a year after they had gone, just in the off-chance they would answer.
Hugs to you, John. I have an index card box where i keep addresses, one to a card. I include info like birthdays, kids' names, anniversaries and so on, so i can send cards.
When i got to a card no longer needed because the person had died, i found myself simply pulling it out from its alphabetical slot and putting it in the back of the pile. Gone but not forgotten.
Can't find the blasted thing now. Gone but not forgotten.
I have trouble going through my address book for Christmas cards every year - favourite Aunts or Uncles gone & writing greetings on the card for the ones left behind.
My Mom has been gone a few years now and I just got a new phone a few months ago. It's the first time without seeing "Mom" in the contacts. A dear friend passed last year and I still have her voicemail message in my mailbox. I feel your sorrow...cyberhugs to you.
Rudy's mother died in 2009...his dad still has her message as the answering machine voice. Initially, I thought it weird, but now the whole family finds it kind of comforting. Do what works for you.
Sitting here in Illinois in front of my computer thinking "What can I say to John?" Nothing. I got nothing. Just know I am sitting here in Illinois in front of my computer thinking about You.
I like to be reminded of special people who have sadly died. I keep their photos around, talk about them often, and 'almost' carry on as if they're still here.
Like Donna, just thinking of you. My son helped me by dropping my phone down the loo, so I just didn't re-add it on the new phone. I still cried when I added his mrs though.
Such a hard thing to do. I still have my dad's number on my phone. I just bear to 'delete' him. Well done for finding the strength to do this a hug for the feelings you have had since. Lisa x
Little steps. I've just had to check whether I still had Elwin in my contact list. No, I must have deleted him ages ago now. Our twelve year old uses his phone occasionally, and the first few times were unbearable as his name showed up when she texted me. Like Jane and Chris I can't bear to throw away all his little scribbled memos. Love Jeneane
It's difficult. I opened a book a couple of weeks ago and found a note my dad wrote. It was meaningless to me and had never been intended for me but I put it back in the book because I couldn't bear to throw it out.
Losing a brother. Even as you delete his number you know he'll always be there with you and memories of him will crop up when you least expect them to... for the rest of your life. In this sense, he hasn't gone at all.
I had a dear friend die back in 2007. I still have contact info and email addy in my computer address book. I don't think I'll ever delete it. It's tough. Hugs!
Sorry it upset you John - I don't think you have to delete really - your brother was an important part of your life. I have my first husband's paintings on the wall - luckily the farmer does not mind at all- he was part of my life for almost forty years and I can't just shed him completely. My suggestion would be to relax and let him still inhabit your phone books, your note books and your memories.
My mom died in 2006 at only 57 years of age, from breast cancer. I'd had an email that developed a problem and I lost all of the emails she'd sent me in the two years prior to her death. It was devastating. I guess the technical part of our lives are so intermingled with the emotional side that it's part of our connection to the ones we love. Hitting delete can never remove them from your life nor erase the memories you hold dear. Those are here to stay. Thank the Lord that He gave us the ultimate computer memory bank to carry around with us at all times, our brains. I love pulling up old memory files...any time I'd like. God bless you John.
OH goodness...that would be a tough one John. I had saved an email from a friend of ours who had passed away about 2 years ago...it's not easy to let go is it. {{Hugs}} to you.
I find scribbled notes/recipes from people who have died...I can't bear to throw them out.
ReplyDeleteJane x
I have "saved" telephone messages which were hard to delete. Sorry for the feelings ...
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. Removing people's contact details is like removing a bit of them and throwing it away.
ReplyDeletepassing on Don's things to the thrift store has been difficult...like cutting little slices of him out of my heart!
ReplyDeleteHugs.
ReplyDeleteI still cannot bear to delete the numbers of long-dead friends from my phone, and - once or twice - I called my dead parent's number about a year after they had gone, just in the off-chance they would answer.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you, John. I have an index card box where i keep addresses, one to a card. I include info like birthdays, kids' names, anniversaries and so on, so i can send cards.
ReplyDeleteWhen i got to a card no longer needed because the person had died, i found myself simply pulling it out from its alphabetical slot and putting it in the back of the pile. Gone but not forgotten.
Can't find the blasted thing now. Gone but not forgotten.
megan
tom and Megan
ReplyDeleteit was so harder than I thought it would be
Oh John I am so sorry..such a hard thing.
ReplyDeletedeloras... the way of the world xxx
ReplyDeleteYou think you are doing fine and it only takes a little thing like that to bring you undone doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteCheers
I have trouble going through my address book for Christmas cards every year - favourite Aunts or Uncles gone & writing greetings on the card for the ones left behind.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom has been gone a few years now and I just got a new phone a few months ago. It's the first time without seeing "Mom" in the contacts. A dear friend passed last year and I still have her voicemail message in my mailbox. I feel your sorrow...cyberhugs to you.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I think one of the wisest things any one said to me is, 'Don't rush through grief.' Hugs from me too x
ReplyDeleteCan`t delete mine yet x
ReplyDeleteit's the little things that hurt the most........
ReplyDeleteGill
You're really getting to me today.
ReplyDeletemark
Yah, John, I know, I really do.
ReplyDeleteXXX
Rudy's mother died in 2009...his dad still has her message as the answering machine voice. Initially, I thought it weird, but now the whole family finds it kind of comforting. Do what works for you.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you John.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been able to do it yet...
e
plufrompdx
Of course it was.
ReplyDelete*Hugs* ♥
I know how you feel. I have email addresses of friends who have passed away that I will never remove. .
ReplyDeleteI still have my late partner's email address in my contacts. It's been 2 years and a half...
ReplyDeleteSitting here in Illinois in front of my computer thinking "What can I say to John?" Nothing. I got nothing. Just know I am sitting here in Illinois in front of my computer thinking about You.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry, John.
ReplyDeleteI like to be reminded of special people who have sadly died. I keep their photos around, talk about them often, and 'almost' carry on as if they're still here.
ReplyDeleteIt does get easier to think, talk about and be reminded of past loved ones!
ReplyDelete(Always hard where ex-wives are concerned #$%^&&@ !$%^^& )
So hard. So sorry. xo
ReplyDeletedeleting the number is bad enough...listening to the voicemail message is worse
ReplyDeletexx
it's very tough when that happens, just a small thing that suddenly reminds you. X
ReplyDeleteLike Donna, just thinking of you. My son helped me by dropping my phone down the loo, so I just didn't re-add it on the new phone. I still cried when I added his mrs though.
ReplyDeleteSuch a hard thing to do. I still have my dad's number on my phone. I just bear to 'delete' him. Well done for finding the strength to do this a hug for the feelings you have had since.
ReplyDeleteLisa x
I've still got my late father's email in my online address book, it'll sit there until the technology (and not me) moves on.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to remember though - you wouldn't want to forget.
Tough moments - they are the things that catch you unprepared and then they are suddenly so final... so I know it hurts
ReplyDeleteLittle steps. I've just had to check whether I still had Elwin in my contact list. No, I must have deleted him ages ago now. Our twelve year old uses his phone occasionally, and the first few times were unbearable as his name showed up when she texted me.
ReplyDeleteLike Jane and Chris I can't bear to throw away all his little scribbled memos. Love Jeneane
It's difficult. I opened a book a couple of weeks ago and found a note my dad wrote. It was meaningless to me and had never been intended for me but I put it back in the book because I couldn't bear to throw it out.
ReplyDeleteLosing a brother. Even as you delete his number you know he'll always be there with you and memories of him will crop up when you least expect them to... for the rest of your life. In this sense, he hasn't gone at all.
ReplyDeleteIt is very hard. Bon Courage.
ReplyDeleteIt took me ages to remove my dad's number from my phone after he died in 2008
These are the 'little' things that pop up to bite us every now and then - never easy.
ReplyDeleteI sympathise...I still have my father's phone number in my mobile...
ReplyDeleteMy partner's mum died two years ago and her number is still at the top of the phone menu under 'Mum'.
ReplyDeleteShe can't bring herself to delete it at all.
My worry is if the phone rings and 'Mum' appears on the phone readout...I'll get my ears bashed from beyond I'm sure.
My friend Fred died 2.5 yrs ago - I still have his email, phone and FB contacts. I can't stand the thought of deleting those.
ReplyDeleteI had a dear friend die back in 2007. I still have contact info and email addy in my computer address book. I don't think I'll ever delete it. It's tough. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteWe all have little things to remind us of those who have died, so is a tel. no any different unless you are too distressed each time you see it?
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine. I think I'd have to delete it too, to help my mind move on. Hugs, John.
ReplyDeleteSorry it upset you John - I don't think you have to delete really - your brother was an important part of your life. I have my first husband's paintings on the wall - luckily the farmer does not mind at all- he was part of my life for almost forty years and I can't just shed him completely. My suggestion would be to relax and let him still inhabit your phone books, your note books and your memories.
ReplyDeleteSorry; at least we still have our memories.
ReplyDeleteMy mom died in 2006 at only 57 years of age, from breast cancer. I'd had an email that developed a problem and I lost all of the emails she'd sent me in the two years prior to her death. It was devastating. I guess the technical part of our lives are so intermingled with the emotional side that it's part of our connection to the ones we love. Hitting delete can never remove them from your life nor erase the memories you hold dear. Those are here to stay. Thank the Lord that He gave us the ultimate computer memory bank to carry around with us at all times, our brains. I love pulling up old memory files...any time I'd like. God bless you John.
ReplyDeleteLana
OH goodness...that would be a tough one John. I had saved an email from a friend of ours who had passed away about 2 years ago...it's not easy to let go is it. {{Hugs}} to you.
ReplyDelete