It’s Nu’s 60th today ….she looks 40 ….I’d planned to go to Surrey for her party on Saturday and had booked a hotel and rail ticket, but recent events have precluded the visit .
I wish I was going , so much. Xx
Nu
It’s Nu’s 60th today ….she looks 40 ….I’d planned to go to Surrey for her party on Saturday and had booked a hotel and rail ticket, but recent events have precluded the visit .
AI
I’m a limited edition apparently, complete with reading glasses, Welsh terrier and McDonald’s coffee….Ive been at home most of the afternoon, waiting to hear from Trendy Carol’s vets, so I could pick up her dog from having his teeth cleaned …..
But I’ve been busy , both Welsh have had long hot showers with baby bubble bath, and the resulting wreck of the bathroom , spring cleaned afterwards
The German sent this later on , note the stains on the jumper lol
My Girl
She’s magnificent and has just come into bloom. I sat with her for a while today. Roger on my knee and Bun by my side . Strange isn’t it but there’s something of a great significance for me in this small tree, a laburnum that hopefully will be blooming well after I’m dead and long forgotten .
In the future, when she is a mature, hardwood tree, towering alongside the old Church in this old village of mine,I hope that someone will sit in her shade and muse for a moment about the person who originally planted her with so much affection.
Nepotism
This post is purely a big up for my great niece Elisha who has her own ceramic business after moving up to the north from London.
Her items are restfully natural . Classic and chic
And can be seen here
https://www.elishaceramics.com/
Quite lovely
Monday Meeting
The weather has been fine today, almost springlike in-fact.
I washed the bedding and hung it on bushes and the field gate to dry, then drank caramel coffee and talked to the German for an hour. At teatime when I collected the duvet and sheets and the eiderdown, they all smelled vaguely of grass, clematis - the Montana and in my imagination elderflower, which flourishes on the field borders.
At twelve I went to the village hall to help brainstorm more activities needed by the village which hopefully get funding from the local authority. Lots of good ideas were put forward, including help to learn how to produce a stage production properly, the proper use of internet and mobile phones, help with internet scamming, mental health support, cookery and budget help, outdoor landscaping, lots of ideas were thrown into a pot which is a testament of how much good humour and mutual respect is present.
I covered the outline of my leg bag with a jumper when I walked in to the hall which village elder Ian gently joked that I looked like a Mason with his apron. Gentle joshing is healthy and saves me the energy of doing it myself.
People have been very kind.
Bun now accompanies us on every walk down the lane now, and skips along in the lead rather than following the troops . For the first time she forgot herself and rubbed her head and neck under the chin of an astonished Roger on their way home which was something Albert used to do to Winnie regularly.
My stand back and watch plan over the last 18 months seems to have worked wonders.
Tonight she was waiting for us by the front door and yowled when she spied me holding the dog leads
She seems easily pleased
The Sheep Detectives
The lisping choir in full Latin mode.
Loved it
Today was a bit of escapism. The Sheep Detectives is an odd piece which does for sheep what Watership Down did for rabbits. In it, we join a flock of sheep living within their own rather complex and at times unfathomable rules with hero worshipped Shepherd ( Hugh Jackman) in charge. After his murder they have to come together in order to solve the mystery of whodidit, and the interaction of the characters voiced by the likes of Patrick Stewart, Bryan Cranston, Julia Lewis-Dreyfuss and Chris O Dowd proves to be much more entertaining that the activity of the more human cast, headed by Emma Thompson
Light, mostly frothy, but at times it’s very Disney emotional which bring the tears flowing when certain sheep are in trouble; it’s a kids film more enjoyed by adults , just as the novel watership Down was a children’s book for adults.
The Garlic Grove
My GP ( he of the tiny hands and lovely bedside manner) gave me some good advice on Monday.
“In your two weeks I’m signing you off sick, get your confidence with your catheter. Go out, shop. Go to the cinema, the pub walk the dogs, watch a football game outside ( he doesn’t know me very well) be active”
So Ive done my best. Last night a doctor friend offered me a free ticket to a comedy nite at a nearby town
It was a small crowded venue with just one toilet, and a long walk from the car park, but I coped. Coped with emptying the leg bag halfway through the evening, and coped with the pricking thoughts that things would go wrong, and someone would “know”
Today, has been a slow day. It’s cooler and wet, and after a zoom meeting with an old friend in Lancashire, the dogs and I went to railway walkway, for them to sniff and for me to breath in the wild garlic which has firmly planted itself on the embankments nearby.
Despite the little victories, the soup, the garlic…..the chats……I feel a little subdued today
K9
Trelawnyd, for a such a small village of some 300 people, never ceases to surprise me. Now I see that the village will host its own Dog Show next month.
How exciting.
There are just six houses along my bit of the village lane and 12 dogs live here.
So hopefully there will be a few entrants !
I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the dirt
I’ll add to the blog when something else comes to mind
Ps. Nothing has lol
Piss Bags
I haven’t quite mastered the techniques of leg bag placement yet
It’s quite a skill and I’m learning.
I’m finding mid thigh placement the best position after a near disasterous twanging of elasticated ties in Sainsbury’s car park yesterday had me scrambling down my tracki bottoms behind a collection of supermarket trolleys.
I cancelled this week’s counselling clients ( thankfully only two) not wanting a malfunction in the therapy room as I’ve already knocked open the bag’s tap by mistake and partially flooded the kitchen vinyl ( through which Roger Gayly walked)
All this is a big learning curve and I’m yet to build up sufficient confidence with each bit of equipment, even though I’ve been working with them neigh on thirty years.
The nhs system for replacement bags and other such doobies is efficient and impressive. My supplies will be delivered today and after I write this I will empty my leg bag again and take Roger out for a walk
My mind has floated back to the summer of 1992 when a selection of motley nurses and physios would regulary take a group of young men and women out from their rehab Spinal Wards to The Ledmill Nightclub.
Here we would get drunk as lords, and where the patients learned to dance in their wheelchairs as ABBA played and suddenly everyone felt young and free again after their traumas of injury.
Most of the patients would have catheter leg bags and part of rehab would be the secret emptying of said leg bags into empty beer pint glasses, in a dark corner. Many a Thursday night whole lines of warm lager coloured drinks would magically appear at the latter parts of the evening.
Of course nurses adored the irony of skint students grabbing one of the pints “ by accident”
Happy days
Remarkably Bright Creatures
Sally or Ann ?
My elder sister is in her late 70s and isn’t physically that robust.
But…Yesterday she called up to the village , with large bags of logs for my fire and cranberry juice for my bladder. Tomorrow she will deliver mince and potatoes ( a supper I adore)
She’s always been the mother I never really had and watching the Netflix movie Remarkably Bright Creatures today I realised how much Sally Field’s character Tova was just like my sister……tough, empathetic, loyal and opinionated
The film was adorable with Alfred Molina playing the grumpy octopus Marcellous quite wonderfully
I cried for an hour watching it.
Go and see it……it’s a lovely watch
A thought
According to psychology people that grew up with an absent father and an emotionally unstable mother learn to be strong too soon.
They got used to solving everything on their own, because no one ever taught them how to face things.
They grew up learning that asking for help was a way of bothering others.
They learned to read the room before speaking , to measure their words so they would create more chaos and to smile even when they felt broken inside.
That’s why that nowadays they find it hard to trust, hard to believe that someone could stay without hurting them.
It’s not that they don’t want to love, it’s that they are afraid of being abandoned again. They get attached but at the same time they pull away because they can’t bare to lose someone important once more, and even if they seem cold, they are only protecting the little they have left of their heart.
Psychology says that behind those strong people they’re still awaiting the day their parents come closer to give them the warmth they’ve always been searching for.
And no matter how hard they hide it, they truly want is to find someone to give them the peace they never had at home.
Goodbye Kira
Trelawnyd Productions loses its director this week for Kira leaves the village to return back to her native love, her home country of Canada. Only recently has she put down some connections with us locals and I hope we have all been welcoming in our joint venture of the Christmas show , which was such a success only a few months ago now.
We had planned a leaving do for her tonight, which I had to bow out of for obvious reasons, so I wanted to give her a little token of our appreciation, something that would mean something but something she could carry easily in transatlantic luggage
So I chose three things. A centenary cup depicting the Memorial Hall, a copy of a 1950’s photo of the village and a hand drawn child’s drawing of the hall itself donated to me from a flower show some years ago, The hall is the building we all want to save for future generations, and was one that received a nice donation from Trelawnyd Productions from a review Kira worked so hard to support.
Bon Voyage Kira,
Be happy
I Saw God On The Train
I read this poem today and needed to hear it performed
In person
The pace Lucas Jones gives his own poem elevates it
amazingly
The enormity of having a long time catheter hit me today, even though I’ve spent 1000s of hours teaching young men how to cope with them back in my spinal injury days
I didn’t sleep much, but found some out of date Valium I was once given to get a battling Albert over the vets threshold, which did a small trick.
My elder sister brought me some tulips and punnet of strawberries which was nicePompeii MMXXIII” — Dan Smith
Trendy Carol’s hubby came around and has taken Mary for a few days while I get used to the whole catheter thing. I was grateful as I’ve been in a little pain and discomfort. Roger has kept me company, and important note to self “Don’t let your catheter bag dangle when you get out of the shower with a cat in the bathroom !”
Ouch
I watched David Attenborough’s 100th birthday tribute last night, and was suitably moved by the whole thing. Dan Smith was new to me and I rather liked his hand gesturing performance.
I hear the village’s Spring Fair was a success
I wasn’t quite up to it
Weary
I’m home, feeling rather weary and very sore.
It’s been a tiring 24 hours.
I’ve seen the efficient side of our beloved NHS when I attended a cottage hospital for a routine kidney ultrasound yesterday. I’ve had no pain or discomfort so and the technician and I were somewhat shocked to find out that I was in urine retention .
Fast forward to six hours later when a testosterone filled Urology Registrar and a diffident Surgical Reg, passed a catheter through a blockage in my urethra.
I have never screamed as much as I did last night, so much so that after the deed was done and I was shown back into reception, 2.5 litres lighter, at least 10 patients sitting along the corridor eyed me with ashen looks and worried faces.
I was sent home with the catheter in situ and sometime in the night , the catheter literally snapped in half ( you couldn’t make it up) so back I went, waiting another 5 hours in order to see two more urology registrars brandishing more pain inducing catheters!
They used tons of local anaesthetic this time ( and by 2 pm I was beginning to lose some of my natural good humour) but the deed was done and I was sent on my way to pharmacy with a prescription for strong antibiotics walking like a man who looked as though he’d shit himself.
I was near dropping when the pharmacist told me my prescription was only usable for community pharmacies so resisting the urge to throttle the technician with the straps of my leg bag, I walked to Bluebell, only to find I’d lost the prescription somewhere en route.
I hobbled back to A&E where a delightful nurse , sorted things out giving me the tablets from her store.
I could have kissed her
It was nice to get home.
Nuala has been fab in phone support, even stating she would be on the next train to wales if I needed her,
😀❤️
But like I said, it’s just nice to be home
Therapy
I still find it a little difficult to think that I am a professional counsellor.
That is something I know I have to work on, and to be honest have worked on over the past few years. Stepping out of a nurse uniform was a big step for me, and without that uniform I literally felt somewhat exposed and naked, with old vulnerabilities gnawing at my psychi of “you can’t possibly do that ?”
I know that I can do that, and I can do that rather well thank you very much, but it was a difficult lesson to learn.
My supervisor at the charity has started to give me paying clients, before I was concentrating on nhs clients with a view of bringing the waiting lists down, this subtle change has allowed my imposter syndrome niggles to re surface and thoughts like , am I giving people their money’s worth? rears its ugly head from time to time.
I’m getting better at ignoring these dissenting whispers
Not Saying What You Want ( Prada Spoilers)
One of the themes running through The Devil Wears Prada 2 was that most of the characters were never quite able to say what they wanted. Miranda couldn’t share her thanks and admiration for second in command Nigel, who in turn could not ask his boss for what he wanted, ie recognition and promotion. and Emily wanted Andrea’s friendship but backed off from asking for it, even though she was desperate for contact and affection.
On my counselling days I often see this in therapy. The unsaid, the not asked for, the I’m not worthy, the fear of rejection.
I’ve seen it in my own life, and in the life of others close to me, in fact it’s a central theme to one of my most favourite film scenes….the ferry scene in My Best Friend’s Wedding
I’ve done it today , and feel better for it, even though the outcome wasn’t the best 🌈❤️
Hey ho
I’m relaxing watching Andre Rieu on tv ….a beer in hand , Roger is playing with Bun and Weaver upstairs
God only knows how that happened ….they are racing around like lunatics
Mary is on my knee
A Rather Nice Arse
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