My GP ( he of the tiny hands and lovely bedside manner) gave me some good advice on Monday.
“In your two weeks I’m signing you off sick, get your confidence with your catheter. Go out, shop. Go to the cinema, the pub walk the dogs, watch a football game outside ( he doesn’t know me very well) be active”
So Ive done my best. Last night a doctor friend offered me a free ticket to a comedy nite at a nearby town
It was a small crowded venue with just one toilet, and a long walk from the car park, but I coped. Coped with emptying the leg bag halfway through the evening, and coped with the pricking thoughts that things would go wrong, and someone would “know”
Today, has been a slow day. It’s cooler and wet, and after a zoom meeting with an old friend in Lancashire, the dogs and I went to railway walkway, for them to sniff and for me to breath in the wild garlic which has firmly planted itself on the embankments nearby.
Despite the little victories, the soup, the garlic…..the chats……I feel a little subdued today
I was thinking about you today and decided to check in. This is wonderful John, just wonderful.
ReplyDeleteAnother step forward
DeleteThere is always a quiet sadness when faced with a life changing ailment/illness, how we humans adapt to coping with them is testament to our enduring spirit. You are doing well John, talking to us will be cathartic and I personally am trusting for a good outcome for you. Jan in Castle Gresley
ReplyDeleteI’m feeling as though it’s one hurdle after another….my reserves ( which are usually high thanks to my inherited sense of humour) is a little low today
DeleteI'm sorry you're feeling subdued. The cold and damp doesn't help, either. But you're doing great. Your confidence will grow as you get used to things. And if things do go wrong (which is highly unlikely), you will cope. If people make a comment, you will explain. You've got this, John. We're all behind you! xx
ReplyDeleteIf I’m sharing this urological disaster journey, I have share the low bits
DeleteIt's odd being on the receiving end of medical things. Having been through a lot in the last eight years, I wish I had known how it really was for my patients. I thought I was being kind and supportive but now I know how much more they needed. As for being discrete re the bag, I was in our local cafe the other day and a young woman was wearing her pee bag like a crossover bag outside her clothes. She was quite energetic so it was flapping against her with a squelchy thump
ReplyDeleteShe didn't seem bothered at all. There were quite a few opened mouthed customers.
Now that’s sass
DeleteYou have had a lot to cope with and adjust to, so it's not surprising you are feeling a bit subdued. You've got this, you will come through because you are stronger than you think you are and of course we are all right behind you.
ReplyDeleteThank you carol x
DeleteA rare doctor who gives useful coherent advice. Listen to him. Be kind to yourself, this must be a devastating process, humiliating and painful and frightening. You are doing so very well. [maybe don't dwell on the doc's tiny hands, he must be self conscious too.]
ReplyDeleteAs for What if people notice/--my mom's reiterated advice to me as a socially terrified child/ teen: "no one notices, no one cares; they're busy thinking about themselves--not interested in judging you. You aren't that important." Not so kind, but it always helped me.
xx lizzy
I can’t help staring at his hands ! All I could think is that this lovely man couldn’t possibly play the piano
DeleteNor does he need too. Lizzy
DeleteI admire you for handling this and sharing it with us.
ReplyDeleteMy way of coping..sharing helps
DeleteFeeling a bit subdued is normal; a bit of an anti climax reaction after the comedy night out,which was quite a test. But you did it, handled it, and you coped. That was a huge milestone, especially having to empty your bag while out. But you did it. You will always do it. You are braver and tougher than you think. And we are all out here cheering you on and saying "Told you so!"
ReplyDeleteA sweet reply , I thank you
DeleteAlthough you’re feeling a bit low today , YOU DID IT, and that’s a VICTORY John. Tomorrow you’ll manage another one, and know that you can do it. . I kept an Emergency Bag with a full change in my car. It’s years since I had to use it, but it was there and made me feel more confident. Onwards and upwards John. .
ReplyDeleteYes I’ve done the same x
DeleteHi John,
ReplyDeleteFrom what I can tell, this whole catheter thing was a surprise so you're grieving what was, while also having to cope with the logistics and emotions of the present reality. It's a lot.
Your gp is very wise.
Go easy on yourself.
I’m not hard on myself, I know I need to grieve…I’m not Julie Andrews , I am a sexual being too!
DeleteThe German challenged me to say that lol
DeleteIs this life now John with no hopes of losing the bag? Hugs! deb
ReplyDeleteWe will see
DeleteYour GP sounds like he has your back, do as they say enjoy the things you like doing . You will probably develop a time pattern for emptying .
DeleteI want you to go to Spain again. Did you know that someone, an artist who looks as though she belongs there still rents an apartment in Gaudis house in Barcelona? We have some wonderful photos of the public spaces and the rooftop
lol
What a thoughtful GP. I do sympathize with the subdued feeling.You are having to come to terms with a new you. I hope you find some adventures to look forward to.Jean in Wpg
ReplyDeleteSome days suck and some days don't suck. My friend with multiply myeloma is getting worse. I decided to take her to the mountains with Jack. Not sure if that will suck or not and for who:)
ReplyDeleteIt would be a lot to get used to and I would worry about it leaking or smelling. Nobody wants to smell like piss. I already worry that I do because apparently piss smells worse as we age. Or is it just me?
I hope I made you smile at least.