This afternoon......I am forgiven
Last night frustration coupled with one of the worst rainstorms I have ever experienced resulted in a diva - sized strop of gigantic proportions.
The sulking lasted many, many hours.
It all started when I needed to leave the house around 9pm. The Prof had gone to bed and the dogs all needed a final wee before bedtime, so I leaded them all up and took them out in the rain.
Now old dogs hate icy wet conditions and after several minutes it was very clear that not one was going to have even a 'crafty one' along the lane and so drenched to the skin and frustrated that I wouldn't be back home until the small hours of the morning to walk them again, I lost my temper and gave the whole pack a good yelling at.
Now for those that don't know, you can shout at a terrier and although they will initially be upset they will generally forget the slight minutes after it has been given. Bulldogs however , do not cope at all with any form of chastisement.
Like elephants, they never forget.
I bundled the pack into the kitchen, hoping against all hope that there would be no puddles on the floor by the time I got home and four hours later I returned to a chorus of happy barks and smiling faces.
Only Winnie wasn't amongst them.
When slighted Bulldogs will sulk for the longest of times and Winnie, I must say, can sulk for Britain.
I found her in the living room, standing with her face to the wall. She refused to acknowledge my presence in any way.
I apologised for shouting at her and gave her a pat on the head , and all she did was to turn her face slowly in the opposite direction.
I knelt on the floor and tried to kiss her, and she blinked her eyes ever so slowly and snorted like a pony. She turned again presenting me a fat blank arse.
At one o'clock in the morning I didn't need the drama.
I took the other dogs out , cleaned up the kitchen floor and returned to the living room with a cup of coffee and a piece of toast
Winnie hadn't moved .
So, I put on some shit tv and started to eat my toast.
Winnie remained still but I could see her nostrils twitching so I ate everything but the crust and placed the remains onto the floor.
Still she didn't move.
She was good, real good I thought.
I slipped the plate with the crusts on it under her nose and went back to my tv watching. It did the trick, for seconds later the plate was empty.
" Are you going to forgive me now ?" I asked her as I knelt again onto the floor and for the first time I was fixed in the big brown eyed glaze of an elderly bulldog.
She obviously thought about what I said for a moment or so,
And snorted her loud bull like snort, before turning and walking off to her nightime armchair.
She didn't look back , even the once.