Do you ever feel insignificant ?
I must admit I don’t very often.
But I did today, strangely enough when buttering a piece of toast.
The toast wasn’t the issue,
Even though it was a German hard bread,
The sort you have to run at to bite.
I was watching the Papal visit to France
His inaugural concert with thousands of smiling young faces, of fireworks and music
And suddenly felt very small
It was the same at the eye hospital when I read the happy boast
We have seen 1328 patients this month!
I was one of the 1328!
I understand the insignificance
I’m not a part of any religion and I don’t want to be a part of an nhs statistic
Late middle age is an invisible time too
It’s this why I wear t shirts with dinosaurs,on them?
The German sent me a T shirt with a roaring T rex on the front
“ Daddy-o-saurus” was the caption
I wore it today and only one person looked at it in the supermarket.
I hear you, John. Am much older than you, and certainly relate. Just know that you are NOT insignificant. You are very much loved.
ReplyDeleteWhen we contemplate something much larger than ourselves, like the universe, or the sweep of time/history, or some big collective statistic, it's easy to feel small and insignificant because, in that context, we ARE. But it's equally true that in our smaller "worlds," we are much more significant and important -- we are each the hero of our own story. These paradoxical feelings are each true and valid.
ReplyDeleteDebra, you put my thoughts so much more eloquently than I could. Thanks.
DeleteJohn, we need a photo of you modelling that t-shirt. Your German friend knows you so well! xx
I agree with you HH. Debra, that was said perfectly. And I also agree that we should get to see John in his new t-shirt. :)
DeleteYou should try it when you're 5'1" tall! Most of the time, I'm okay with my height and smile at everyone I meet and often speak because as a nurse, I talked to strangers all the time. It is tall trees and a few very tall humans that make me feel very small. We are each and every one of us, magnificent and happily, one of a kind!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
I can guarantee you more than one person looked at the shirt. People are sly that way - but they noticed. And if it is any consolation, I feel insignificant often. Probably far too often.
ReplyDeleteHello my friend.
ReplyDeleteYes, I understand, here's one thing about the 'invisibly' thing that seems to happen to both men and women in middle age and beyond, and I'm well 'beyond'. I noticed it several years ago. I'm tallish, little over 6f, and having two daughters I notice reactions that women/girls have to men. It it was evening, or an empty street and I was walking and a woman was approaching, no one else around, I could sense the unease. I sometimes, if I could, crossed the street, to try to rectify. Now, 80, women don't see me as a threat. I'm sorry the problem exists, but I'm glad 'disappearing' on my part has lessened it for some. Cheers.
M
Thank you for being so thoughtful.
DeleteI don't feel insignificant but I often feel invisible because of my age.
ReplyDeleteI won't describe what I thought when I saw His Popeness dressed in all his silly clothes. How someone like him, and what he represents, can attract such fervour, I will never understand.
ReplyDeleteDitto. For someone who supposed to be a representative of the Christ, he fails. He is supposed to be able to do what Christ did. Has he healed anyone, raised the dead, walked on water?
DeleteI like being anonymous, or insignificant, but I know I can be effective, helpful, or just a smiling eye-contact for someone without attracting attention. It’s not quite “shyness” but it’s my preferred modus operandi. . I wonder why? I definitely work at staying under the radar. You John, are certainly noticed, and important, to so many people. Us, your blog followers, those hospice patients, and their families who you’ve smoothed the path for, and now, those who benefit from your perceived care. So, crazy tee shirt or tomato marked jersey, you my friend, matter hugely.
ReplyDeleteI think I've often felt insignificant. I am female. I am the youngest child with a large age gap between first and last. I was orphaned very young, and much of my childhood was arranged so that various relatives would be 'looking after me' at various times - a bit like putting a pet into daycare. My suitcase was always at the ready. I won't go into boyfriends/ex husband - suffice to say I seemed to matter less than they did.
ReplyDeleteThankfully I went to an excellent girls' school, managed to get a decent career, so that part was fine.
And then I developed what is termed a 'hidden disability'. Doctors do not listen to women in the way they listen to men.
You did ask!!
For women, youth and beauty are the coin of the realm. Once we no longer have those, we are deemed insignificant. It has taken some hard damn work of healing for me to learn that my contributions to this world have nothing to do with youth or beauty. Your contributions to this world are infinite, John.
ReplyDeleteCome on John, don’t be invisible please post a picture of you in the new t-shirt. Jan
ReplyDeleteYou are significant to many of us. Large as life for those of us who had the good fortune to have met you. You have made a difference in the lives of thousands of people, but what really mattered to each of them, was the time you spent with them, not the number of people you have helped have better life. You continue to be a helper, a caregiver. You can go out in public and relax, father Bob can no longer do that. (the current Pope was a classmate of Sweet Bear at Villanova, he will always be Bob to his classmate.)
ReplyDeleteNone of us are insignificant. Even Daddy-o-saurus!
ReplyDelete"Significance", fame and celebrity are highly overrated in my opinion. Better to be a nobody, a mere shadow moving around unnoticed like Will O'Th' Wisp.
ReplyDeleteOh, the invisibility that comes with aging…I’ve been there awhile now. I forget from time to time. I recently bought a great tshirt from a bat rescue sanctuary. No one gives it a glance. I like to think I matter to my cats but I can’t be sure. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteAs many here have noted- as we age, we become more and more invisible. When I am out with one of my daughters, I see the attention they receive and I realize I used to get that same sort of attention, completely unaware that at some point, it would disappear. I had no idea it had to do with my youth and my, well, decent looks. I simply thought people were very nice in general.
ReplyDeleteBut another disturbing thing to me is that although I know my children love me, I find that when we are in a gathering together, I am often ignored. Not completely ignored, of course, but I almost feel as if my presence has faded. Perhaps this is a natural phenomena. Probably.
I can see, however, why some women, as they age, dress in more and more vibrant colors and wear more striking jewelry. It's almost a way of saying, "I am still here and you will notice me." I always thought I'd be one of those women. Not yet! But I am not throwing away my gold eye shadow, either.
I feel the same way Ms Moon - it started out only occasionally but more and more frequent now - being a 70ish person is not easy. Although I will admit to a few perks - it does get to me sometimes. Thanks for the topic John.
DeleteI think you are very significant to a lot of people. Why bother worrying about what strangers think? You have so many friends and family who appreciate and cherish you.
ReplyDeleteI am old and only significant to my two daughters. I am not taken very seriously by the doctors at the ER but that is probably because I have a hard time explaining my problem. I need to have my lap band removed. They are supposed to be removed after 10 years and I have had it for over 20. I keep having problems and the hospital does nothing for me. I am going to ask my doctor to find a way to get it done. Sorry for venting here. John you are very significant to so many of us. Gigi
ReplyDelete“You and the world you live in are but a grain of sand upon the infinite shore of an infinite sea."
ReplyDeleteYou seem very introspective these days. Time for a pub night out ,loud and lots of G & Ts.
ReplyDeleteAnd--is insignificant the same as age related invisibility? Or more philosophical? Is this related to your impostor syndrome. Lots roiling away inside most of us I suppose. My bugaboo is extreme anxiety.
DeleteI hear you, as I have gotten older I have become invisible. It's just what happens.
ReplyDeleteFritz sent you a t shirt and you're not over the moon? I would love to have someone like that in my life. You are lucky. You would not like being the Pope. The pressure would be unbearable having 700000 people waving at you....Best just to be cherished by a few.
ReplyDelete"The sort you have to run at to bite"
ReplyDeleteIs that something the Welsh say, John? or it a description you came up with?
Lots of so-descriptive and entertaining turns of phrase by you. I still haven't had a chance to use "big girl's blouse" but am making sure not to forget it!
-Kate
Johnny, my Johnny - I see you xx
ReplyDeleteWe are only a drop in a river but oh how wonderful is to swim!
Sometimes age can work in your favour. I'm always being asked if I want help with packing my shopping . Being let on the bus first. I think its my white hair cos I'm quite fit for nearly 78. Of course it does help if you are sociable and smile at people. If you smile at someone you will nearly always get a smile in return.
ReplyDeleteYes I often feel insignificant. When I go I will be forgotten in only a generation.
ReplyDelete