In Wine there’s Truth…

 

So says the Latin inscription above my front door.

I was reminded of the phrase last night, when I messaged my ex husband’s aunt to check how her husband was doing

He was very poorly

After being the useful hospice nurse , I lightened the chat and joked about the time, at my wedding that he suddenly called me “ pratface” out of nowhere. The words shocked himself and the room and came after several gin and tonics, but I remember that I chose not to be offended even though in vino veritas.

We laughed about it in the messages

Not being offended is sometimes a hard go to, especially if you have always grown up with criticism and brickbats. But it can be achieved with practice and mantra. 

Sometimes in counselling I will reenact a harsh word that was once given to a client by objectifying it. 

“Imagine that insult as this box of tissues” I say , placing the box in front of the client

“ Now pick it up” 

The client will pick up the insult box and in the silence that follows will sometimes realise that they have accepted its words by their gesture. 

They have accepted it , because it fits an old pattern, a low self image and poor self esteem , yet we can all choose not to accept the insult and its resulting emotional fall out.  

But it’s hard …..