Out of duty my elder sister Ann and I went to my second cousin’s funeral this afternoon. It was forty years since I had last met her, less for my sister, but the duty centred around the fact she was the last of the old Guard to pass away. The final, tangible link with my father’s generation, of my sister’s youth and for me memories of 1970s Christmas lunchtimes.
It was a sad funeral, and sad for all the wrong reasons for the celebrant had retold facts and memories adequately but without really gathering the essence of a real character with skills, triumphs, passions and humour.
My cousins were there, cousins I played with as a child, and we all looked old now, and just a little deflated by it all.
Only 15 people were sat spread out in the congregation .
Oh, John, my sympathy at the passing of the Old Guard. It's unexpectedly sobering to find yourself in the new oldest generation! Comfort food and flowers help and it's sweet the flowers are in the vase that belonged to your Grandmother.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Always added poignancy to such "last of their generation" funerals.
ReplyDeleteSo it's not unrealistic after all to have only a dozen people attend a funeral! I see this on TV and think "Does that ever really happen or are they just too cheap to hire all the extras?" Every funeral I've ever been to has been crowded and I guess it's because they're in rural communities. I think a funeral with only family members present would be quite nice; less stressful for the bereaved than a community event is. Each to his own, of course. -Kate
ReplyDeleteThe daffodils and pitcher are so charming. Imagine--windows open in early March, how hopeful.
ReplyDeleteThe right thing to do on all counts. We went to a funeral of my late mother in law's close friend. The deceased had a Swedish name but not difficult to pronounce. Except for the celebrant who mangled it every single time. I began to think he might have had one or two drinks before the ceremony. The son in law went up during the hymn and corrected him but it wasn't much better. I still feel furious at the disrespect.
ReplyDeleteYes, it does come as a bit of a shock to realise that you now belong to the "older" members of the family. We all get bumped along the line...
ReplyDeleteI hope the breeze and the daffs relieved you of the strange feeling that funerals can give. Love the Wade vase. The colour of the 30's! xx
Your sister is a genius, and I am going to adopt that approach consistently from now on, instead of just by happenstance.
ReplyDeleteCeci
After my parents funeral my brother told me I was now the family matriarch!! I felt horrified until I realised he was quite right! At least 20+ years later I am still here and although creaking hopefully will see my 80th at the end of August! 😂
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this with us, and what a lovely vase. I really like your sister's point of view and will try to adopt that approach in future.
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