I worked last night and took a little time to explain to support staff just why I think it’s important for me not to do personal cares with female patients without a chaperone .
Suddenly I remembered this post from seven years ago and seeing it was a quiet news day today, I thought I would repeat it.
The post caused much complaint when I first aired it
I don’t quite understand why
“ The log lady had dropped a pile of seasoned wood a couple of days ago and this morning called around for her money as I was eating breakfast. She waited in the kitchen as I scrabbled around for the notes but was kept amused by Winnie as per.It was only after she had gone when I realised that I had left my vagina out overnight on the chopping board.I think I may need to explain myself here.........
Nowadays male nurses are trained to catheterize women , but in my day this was not just so, and so when I went to work in the private sector with effectively no trained nurse back up. I told myself that I needed to expand my role somewhat.
The first step towards this was to get my hands on an anatomically precise vagina!
This I have done and off I went yesterday, searching the mysteries of the female " inner world" thanks to a rubber vag propped up on a baking potato!
The log lady never said a word”
I was in nursing school well before you and the first male patient I had to catheterize was an elderly doctor. My face was so red and he was so kind.
ReplyDeleteHope you've had your female anatomical model well hidden away ever since the log lady's visit!
Hugs!
"I left my vagina on the chopping board" could be the title for your book. It'd certainly get people talking. As long as the log lady a) knew you're a nurse and b) it wasn't a real vagina, I can't see a problem. If not - well, maybe she thought you were experimenting with a new recipe!😲 xx
ReplyDeleteGood for you. Vaginas and vulvas are confusing anyway, so practice makes perfect. I remember when I was catheterizing one poor lady and she ended up with three catheters in place before I hit her urethra. Childbirth makes a mess of women sometimes.
ReplyDeleteAnother time the young woman was a virgin and I felt so bad having to catheterize her, but we both got through it. I imagine there were jokes involved.
I thought you were having a late spaying for Mary. What made you revisit this post today?
ReplyDeleteI think it's commendable that you were practising in order to give the best possible healthcare to your female patients. The funniest thing to me about this story is that you propped up the rubber vag on a potato! I've only been catheterized once, but thank the goddess I was still under anesthetic when they did it.
ReplyDeleteYet another made up story. Didn't believe it then and don't believe it now. If it's a quiet news day just don't post!
ReplyDelete7 years and still stalking …wow
DeleteIn Mary Walsh's hilarious series 'Hatching, Matching, and Dispatching,' a character who has his first experience of sexual intercourse with a woman tells his buddy the next morning that he was surprised because he expected her vagina to be "sideways." Obviously he'd've been better prepared had he ever seen a vagina such as yours! -Kate
ReplyDeleteWell, I wasn't sure what to expect based on that headline! I love the fact that you propped it up on a potato. That's a hilarious detail.
ReplyDeletePropping it up on the potato was a nice touch! Cheers John!!
ReplyDeleteIt looks like a money box! Ha ha!
ReplyDeleteI think catheterization is one of the procedures that is equally challenging for the patient and the practitioner. I say this as a patient and as an observer when a nurse had to catheterize my dad in front of me. It's such a personal thing to do and to have done, and has such potential for loss of dignity. I commend you for trying to improve your technique and also for realizing that having a chaperone while you perform it is a good idea for both you and the patient.
ReplyDeleteWell, of course, I just had to read this post...
ReplyDelete