A Death In The Village

 Somebody I know died suddenly in the village this morning. 
Apart from knowing who it is and the fact they were young and liked , I am aware of little else , but like ripples on a small pond the news is spread not out of gossip or salacious interest , but from concern and self reflection and as I’ve cleared the back patio of detritus and slime, villagers have stopped, then passed some with sad faces and in hushed tones.
In my experience a death, any death, makes people seek others out. There is a reaching out, a sort of sharing which is needed. Contact has to be made. 
Maybe it’s a grace of god go I  thing….? Or maybe it’s an innate thing where neighbours stand shoulder to shoulder, a comfort to each other rather than just being the witnesses to an event. 

I have some nice boxed paper with my name on. Nu gave it to me for Christmas. I will write to the deceased’s partner with my ink pen over the weekend. The ink and the paper says I’m thinking about you more than any words do
Well in my mind they do

I’ve planted out long stem polyanthus in planters on the kitchen wall and will buy more from the supermarket late

Hey ho

40 comments:

  1. Oh, John. I send my condolences to your village. Yes, death, probably more than any other life event, brings people together. To support, share, reminisce and console. xx

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  2. Anonymous3:56 pm

    A shallow thought to think your words will mean more due to being written on "special" paper and with an Ink Pen.

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    1. Written with care..is to my mind a kindness..you obvious cannot understand this concept

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    2. Yorkshire Liz6:12 pm

      Amazing how people love to demonstrate their ignorance and lack of empathy by pretending the very opposite. When my husband died suddenly I took great comfort from the notes people took the time and trouble to write. In pen. On particular note cards chosen with care. They have a connection and comfort no email could ever replace. And they remain in my family file to connect with those who will see them later, and reflect on the feelings of other people and what my husband meant to them. Neither I nor John should have to explain or justify respect and grief to emotional pygmies who think they know everything. And so clearly do not.

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    3. Anonymous8:11 pm

      Every post this bitch finds fault…she needs to get a fucking life. I’m here every post because I like John and find his writing of interest , to be here and hate him, well that’s fucked up
      VERY fucked up

      Lee

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    4. Lee it baffles me why she tries everyday , she hasn’t got much in her life if she’s here to complain daily I agree

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  3. Barbara Anne4:12 pm

    My sympathy to all and I agree that caring letters, cards, flowers, food, and hugs (when appropriate) are meaningful to the partner who was left behind.

    Hugs!

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    1. I will pop the card around tomorrow

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  4. I agree totally John. Your choice of pen and paper shows caring. For me (and everyone I know) a hand made card from a friend or my family, means so much more than a shop bought card, even if it's words are more poetic.

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    Replies
    1. When you are in pain a thoughtful touch goes a long way

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  5. Never underestimate the power of a heartfelt letter.

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  6. You are a thoughtful friend, John.

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    Replies
    1. The deceased was well liked and supported many

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  7. Archie7:04 pm

    A beautiful note written with a good pen on special paper will be undoubtedly appreciated. Our condolences to your village

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  8. Anonymous7:18 pm

    There’s also such a difference between handwritten and typed. Now I type 98% of the time, I’m loosing confidence in my handwriting skills - they’re so rusty. A couple of weeks ago I had to practice before I wrote!! In the end I remembered the finger exercises I used to teach my Junior School children, and that helped.

    What a supportive village you have. I’m sure Trelawnyd will go on supporting that young widow as she navigates the next difficult months.

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  9. Anonymous7:19 pm

    darn,,, that was Virginia, not Anonymous. XX

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  10. After losing my husband, close relatives and friends over the last five years, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how very fleeting our lives are, in the final analysis. It is a sobering thought but has made me appreciate the folks I still have. And I can say the notes I received after my husband's death are precious to me. So sorry for the loss of this member of your village.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your observations Jenny

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  11. Grief happens, even when the person is not related to us, not a part of our sphere, there is still an absence. I hope their partner will be ok in time. A young death always seems so much more painful to everyone. It's not the way the world is supposed to be.

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  12. A hand-written note is so rare these days and will mean so much.

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    Replies
    1. There will be lots of notes and flowers me thinks

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  13. Anonymous8:13 pm

    This simple observation has a lyrical feel

    Keith
    Xx

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  14. Perhaps it's an inborn sense that a death in our community diminishes us all.

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  15. We are experiencing the same situation here on our little street of 5 homes. I agree and appreciate your words John.

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    Replies
    1. It’s a weird time nell isn’t it ?

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  16. Anonymous8:53 pm

    My heartfelt commiserations. 💕the loss of anyone in a small community is a great loss and felt by all of them. I;am very sad for you all 😢

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  17. How sad for the village, and those close. Verbal words are forgotten at times of grief, but written words will be kept and reflected upon. I know.

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  18. So sad. Handwritten is special--- my mom treasured the cards and letters she received after my dad died. She'd hold them and carefully read and rereaad each written word.

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  19. Sudden and young, every death is difficult, unexpected maybe more so. A handwritten note will mean a lot. Take care,

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