Saying What You Think and the 10 pm Curfew

 I was never a fan of Dr Who but I rather liked this clip where the real Vincent Van Gogh was given the chance to realise that he was infact a much loved and celebrated artist. It seems kind and right and so unlike reality that meant that Vincent never realised his talent when he was penniless and dying. 

Emily is a nurse , I have worked with over the past few years. She is leaving the hospice for pastures new and she is young, gobby, confident, questioning and potty mouthed and I adore working with her. Last week I told her that fact, but I balanced the usual I’ll miss you with some home truths. 

I told her she was a good nurse, and one that would make an excellent sister but I also told her why I thought so . I acknowledged her strengths , and without embarrassment gave her examples of her good practice . The older I get, the more important I think it is to be positive and truthful and celebratory about people.  

Emily is in the middle back row and the chap in the cap is Ben another dear friend who leaves soon
I will miss them both so much 

Go on try it. Say something nice to a friend, celebrate a strength, acknowledge a skill. 

Look at Vincent’s face and tell me it’s a bad idea……..

And thank you to Gemma from Melbourne , who emailed me with a suggestion 
Put the dogs to bed on the kitchen reading chair at 10 pm , put a log on the fire and call the cats , and just see if the dynamic of no dogs and just me has on Weaver” 

So I did just that, and stretching out on my trendy blue sofa I settled to watch A Bridge Too far.
Almost immediately did Bun come for a cuddle , but minutes later Weaver sat uncomfortably on the back of the chair. 
The dog’s absence had suddenly opened up them for cats time 
And half an hour later I was scratching a slightly moody but receptive Weaver behind the ears as she purred a dog free purr 

Simple psychology 

But I had missed it 


20 comments:

  1. Barbara Anne9:10 pm

    What wonderful and affirming words you shared with Emily. I'm sure she'll recall them many times in her career and will remember you warmly.
    Sorry Ben is leaving, too.
    What a brilliant idea Gemma had for you to have dog time, then dogs to bed so it's cat time. Clearly, both Bun and Weaver noticed!
    Is there supposed to be a picture of Vincent's face here?

    Hugs!

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    1. Oh, John, how wonderfully precious to see Vincent's amazed joy! Inspiring, indeed.

      Hugs and hugs!

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    2. Yes it warmed the heart did it not?

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  2. Wow, how lovely for Weaver and Bun to have dog free time with you. Josie ( )

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    1. I never even guessed it as an intervention

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  3. Yes, quiet, but genuine, praise is wonderful to give and to receive.
    Gemma's idea is so simple but obviously effective. xx

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    1. Yes….obviously the rules of them upstairs and the dogs downstairs were stuck fast

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  4. Yorkshire Liz9:39 pm

    That Van Gogh scene from Dr Who is a life affirming classic in it's own right, and I have to go back and watch it occasionally (even though I could not stand Matt Smith as The Doctor) The actor playing Van Gogh is the wonderful Tony Curran (watch him playing James I in Mary And George TV series with Julianne Moore and Nicholas Gaalitzine; fantastic) with Bill Nighy as the -uncredited - art expert; whose baffled expression at the end is just fabulous. Written by Richard Curtis of Love Actually, etc.
    A brilliant idea to divide cat and canine quiet time; and it works. Give that person who recommended the idea a medal! Peace and relaxation reigned. What bliss!

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    1. I found the “ slight” scene incredibly powerful and profound . Curran was incredible

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  5. One of those "if only" moments....and "what if"....
    Words of wisdom and encouragement...just what people need. I hope Emily dies well. That certainly looks like a great bunch there.

    Yes, Cat Time. I bet they are both wondering what took you so long!! xx

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  6. DOES well....they joys of a touch screen on a phone ....sorry!

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  7. Gemma from Melbourne has cracked the Weaver Code! I hope you and Weaver get much closer now, like you and Bun.

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    1. And yes, what a wonderful clip from Dr. Who -- if only Van Gogh could have had such closure in real life!

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  8. I would have never guessed that dedicated cat time would solve the Weaver problem.
    When coworkers leave everything shifts to fill a newly formed empty space. Wishing Emily and Ben the best and also letting them know they'll be missed makes a nice send off.

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  9. Anonymous1:41 am

    That Vincent clip makes me tear up every time it pops up, and I always have to watch it more than once. Good news on the pet psychology!
    Bonnie in Minneapolis

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  10. That clip was lovely. When I was working, I tried very hard to acknowledge people's strengths. I hope I was heard. We all have such different strengths, but working together we can compliment each other.
    The incompetent nurse that drove me crazy for fourteen years has finally retired. The sad thing is, I'm sure she believed she was an excellent nurse. Not my circus anymore, but I still miss the circus sometimes.
    I stopped by today at work to say hi to my husband because I was driving by and Jack was with me. There was a code and I almost ran. I stopped myself and it was only a vaso-vagal incident.

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  11. Wonderful development in your life with Weaver! Pat would approve.

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  12. What great news about Weaver!

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