Sagrada Familia

 The problem with being an efficient and older male nurse is that there is a presumption that the death of a patient doesn’t affect you as much as it does to other, more demonstrative nurses.

I’ve just finished two nights where two deaths featured, central stage.
I know myself well, and I knew I felt a tad bruised when I watched the soaring cranes plant the huge lighted cross on the central tower of the Sagrada Familia


I sat, a little weary at the kitchen table, when I got home and ate dry eggs in the chill of the unheated cottage, as the most beautiful building on earth was crowned

Then I had a little cry before going to bed

40 comments:

  1. Barbara Anne3:54 pm

    When you've been a bit battered by loss at work, tears are very near the surface, aren't they?
    Amazing video.
    Ta, John, sleep well!

    Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thinking of you. Thanks for all you write and say. Sleep well. Jx

    ReplyDelete
  3. I thought of you when I saw that the Sagrada Familia was being crowned. An impressive sight.
    Being affected by a patient's death, just shows that, after all these years, you have kept your humanity. Part of the job, yes, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Hugs. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Being thought of when someone sees the sagrada . How lovely

      Delete
  4. Anonymous5:06 pm

    Death comes to us all, sooner or later, as a foe or a friend. i hope it came as a friend to the two you were present at. Thank you for fulfilling an unpleasant task. Roderick.
    P.S. The Sagrada Familia, which I have visited, is in my view a botched up monstrosity. Can't share your enthusiasm.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just can’t fathom why anyone should hate the sagrada , especially its interior , which is sublime
      I respect your thoughts though

      Delete
  5. Although death comes to us all, I've never had a patient's death that didn't affect me. Sending hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You know how to take care of yourself, too, John.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I wish I had something smart or reassuring to say but sometimes life is just hard. Good that you had a cry to release some of it. XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I had something smart to say too, but I haven’t x

      Delete
  8. Anonymous8:54 pm

    Hello John,
    I loved this simple post
    A great deal of humanity in just a few lines

    Keith
    Xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous9:03 pm

    Who looks after you my squire ?

    Lee

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous10:15 pm

    Cymryd ofal / take care 💕💕

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a difficult job you do, with such calm and kindness. I have so much respect for you and other hospice carers.
    I have questions...is the SF finished now? What are dry eggs? Why is the cottage unheated, that can't be healthy or comforting.
    hgs

    lizzy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1. No, it’s topped out, as the tallest tower is finished, but there’s lots more “ smaller “ work to be completed.
      2. I cooked them too long
      3. The cottage is centrally heated from the stove , which I had not lit,

      Delete
    2. Anonymous2:29 am

      Those suggested heat pumps could be utilized via your phone and you d come home to warmth and comfort you deserve this. Lizzy d

      Delete
  12. Anonymous11:30 pm

    You're a GOOD MAN John. Jen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Believe it: you're a good man, John. If you're trying, you're succeeding!

      Hugs!

      Delete
  13. Oh, I don't think I could handle that at all.

    ReplyDelete
  14. In your job, you grieve and grieve again. It's tiring.

    ReplyDelete
  15. What a wonderful building that is. Keep the faith John.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sorry it was a very sad and painful day. Hope your sleep was peaceful and refreshing and today is a better day.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous8:02 am

    Sadness is very draining. A good cry and sleep certainly help reset emotions.
    weavinfool

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous8:40 am

    ♥️

    ReplyDelete
  19. It requires a lot of strength and kindness to do what you do. Not to mention study and years of experience! Consider yourself hugged.

    ReplyDelete
  20. A low pain, low stress death is the goal, and yet it always feels like a loss. The paradox of hospice and palliative care. Hugs from afar.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I understand the being the oldest nurse and dealing with death. My patients died after surgery in acute care. ICU would discharge them to my unit and we would care for them until they passed. We also received emergency room patients that were expected to pass within 24 hours.

    It was hard. The younger women were given extra breaks and hand holding. I got to accompany my patient to the morgue.

    It sounds terrible but I had a run of patients die on me. Every other Friday evening shift for six months. I had to leave the unit because Fridays just became too hard.

    I still remember several of those patients.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Anonymous3:27 pm

    Oh, John, what a day. You are such a great hospice nurse. I love how you love others. We all need that. Does anyone in Wales have in-home hospice? I have a dear friend who’s just begun that journey.
    Thank you for this post. I hate dry eggs too!
    Sending love and hugs, Carol in Atlanta💖

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous3:32 pm

    I also appreciate this John . As I got older I think my patients death affected me more and some hit a “spot” more than others because of relationships built and fears discussed , dignity and bravery and being more aware of losses for patients and their loved ones . I’ve had many a cry in my car ! This I don’t miss in my retirement . Of course losses always occur but the recurring ones at work take their toal . Sending hugs . X Bernie ex Pal care Sister

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous3:36 pm

    Hugs John, Gigi

    ReplyDelete

I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes