Nasty



 Sometimes you can’t help but overhear a conversation between people in the supermarket . Two sixty something couples, one man proudly saying that they had just been to a charity fundraiser for the local lifeboat. As I passed the other woman, who was facing him said something I didn’t catch then loudly added, “well I wouldn’t support them as all they seem to do is to save illegal immigrants.”
I stopped my trolley as the original guy said something else and I caught something like “well you can’t let anyone drown” before the racist woman added “ well I would “ then conceeded with  “ I would save the children though” 
I saw red
It wasn’t my conversation 
It wasn’t my business.  
But I butted in anyway and hissed at the woman “ shame, shame on you!”
All four looked shocked but I carried on,
The floodgates opened
“ Racist Scum” I called her
I wasn’t pretty

Cheap Shoes was all too gentle an insult
I’m still shaking 

113 comments:

  1. Good for you! We all should do the same.

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    1. It was a nasty and awkward moment and I hated it

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  2. Anonymous4:40 pm

    Well done! We need more people to speak up like that. Thankyou, from the Netherlands

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  3. I'm glad you spoke up and I hope I would have as well.

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    1. I wasn’t going to, it was anger talking

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    2. Sometimes anger is exactly what's needed

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    3. I’m still shaking about it

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    4. Been there, it is hard afterward. All that adrenaline.

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  4. Anonymous4:51 pm

    good for you xx from julie

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    1. I’m not proud of the whole situation but I glad I said something

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  5. If you hadn't spoken up, you would have wished you had! We're all God's children

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    1. Did she really say and mean she was happy at people actually drowning ? Really? REALLY?

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  6. Replies
    1. It was ugly, nasty and upsetting….ive heard low level racism a lot but never on this scale

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  7. Anonymous5:16 pm

    Codex: Good for you. The problem is that I didn't even hear those types of conversations a few years back. Sometimes. Yes. Hard to listen to.

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    1. I’ve never heard such hate from a well heeling affluent woman

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  8. Anonymous5:35 pm

    Good for you! The speaker is probably beyond hope but onlookers and the other couple might be given cause to re-evaluate a bit!

    Ceci

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  9. Archie5:53 pm

    Good for you! I would have been too shocked to speak.

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    1. I was at first , I did walk past then turned around

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  10. I sometimes wonder if some people actually think through what they're saying. Like Archie, I would have been too gobsmacked to speak, then kicked myself for not speaking up. So good on you, Mr. Gray. Yes, cheap shoes wouldn't have cut it. xx

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    1. The lifeboat man seemed embarrassed by her initially but tried to argue with me afterwards. I guess I was rude

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  11. Barbara Anne6:37 pm

    Well done, John.

    Hugs!

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    1. I’m not proud of the whole nasty little moment, but I’m glad I said something, I wish I had been more articulate

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  12. I get more frightened about people's behaviour and lack.of compassion every day

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  13. GREAT! Call it out, good for you, more should do so when it is so blatant. Racism is everyone's business, overheard or not! Thank you

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  14. Well done. People need to face a price for that kind of hateful talk.

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    1. So many people believe she is right, this what worries me and saddens me, I haven’t got all the answers and we have to have border controls but let’s keep our hearts

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  15. Thank you John! People like that SHOULD be ashamed but they rarely are. Disgusting.

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  16. Speak the truth and fear no man!
    And then there's, "Tell the truth and shame the devil."
    You did both. If only we all did that.

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  17. Well done! I'm with Ms Moon. "I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something" Helen Keller.

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  18. Anonymous7:35 pm

    The woman had a right to voice her opinion in a private conversation

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    1. Anonymous7:38 pm

      But it wasn't private, was it? It was a scummy racist thing to say in a public place. Shame on you.

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    2. If I overheard it so could others, I’m upset at the whole thing..I’m upset that the words were said OUT LOUD

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    3. Anonymous7:54 pm

      The man she spoke to had the opportunity to challenge her if he indeed wanted to .it was not John’s place to butt in

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    4. Anonymous8:00 pm

      I'd be quite happy to see Reform and Brexit supporters deported to be honest

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    5. It wasn't a private conversation if she could be so easily overheard, and she needed her opinion challenged

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  19. Anonymous7:47 pm

    Knowing that you have built your whole career on compassion for others who need help, I can understand your comments. Good for you! Maybe the couples are mad or embarrassed that they were called out in public. It might not be today, or next week, but our hope is that at some point, they will re-examine their point of view and make a change. In neighborhoods in my own city, federal employees have shot citizens at point blank range. No one had ever said to them, shame on you for even taking this job and not standing up with compassion and integrity. Love from
    Bonnie in Minneapolis

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    1. We circled each other for a while and they gave me daggers

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  20. Good on you, John. Your wording could have been done with more finesse [make that scathing sarcasm if I had been in aisle 23) but it's the sentiment that counts.

    I particularly liked "... but I'd save the children". How generous. Children just having been deprived of their parents. Seriously? I am not vengeful yet do understand why sometimes one wishes to crush the snake [God's instrument of evil] with one's bare foot.

    Once no one pipes up any longer for our fellow humans we may all sing a song of silence - to be deafened by it.

    U

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    1. I wish I could have done a Stephen fry rather than a Nancy from Oliver …

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  21. What a horrible sentiment for anyone to have, sadly I think it is one shared by a great many people. I’d like to say that I would be brave enough to do as you did, part of me thinks though that I would have kept silent and deeply regretted that I had.
    I have watched Saving lives at sea and have watched as they, bravely, battle to save ‘boats’ that can’t even really be called that. Overflowing with desperate people who are terrified to find themselves in the sea - most cannot swim. It’s a grim watch, an upsetting one and I feel sick at the thought of anyone thinking that sort of fate is deserved, that those poor people are lesser and therefore deserve to die a horrible death.
    We are a progressive world but attitudes, have always been slow to change - but they wouldn’t change at all if they weren’t challenged on them or publicly shamed for them. You did good John and if we choose to be optimistic, they may even learn from it.

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    1. I wish I could have been more intelligent . People I know are frightened, and are plagued by bad press and by other worries

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    2. It is a trying time for sure, everyday there seems to be more to be afraid of and all of it stirred by either inaccurate or incomplete reporting and systems struggling to keep up with demand with precious few resources available to them. I don’t believe things can continue as they are, I don’t think it’s right that people feel the need to flee their home country - due to war or persecution. I also don’t think that surrounding countries can afford to take them all. Add in other social and economic pressures and the news that report the very worst of it and you have a powder keg - all must be tarred with the same brush and its only ever a one sided story you are allowed to talk about. It is true that you can have empathy and compassion for a terrible situation and wish better for those souls desperate for a better life - it can also be true that the better life they seek can cause an economic imbalance in other areas - housing, schools, doctors and dentists to name just a few. I don’t think that makes someone a racist, but what you witnessed today - there’s no excusing that lack of human compassion.
      I think what you felt in that moment came across and thats as real as it gets, I think you did brilliantly - especially because its not something you were expecting to happen.

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    3. Very well put!

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  22. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking up, John. Someone has to stand up for those who can't do it themselves. What shameful comments from that person. Execrable.

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    1. Like I understand people are frightened and the easiest emotion to mobilise is always anger…but I’m sick of trying to be understanding, today I just wanted and needed to shout

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    2. Anonymous8:44 pm

      Lee here
      Three in the afternoon and just reaching for my first 🍸
      You did well my old bud.
      You did bette Midler
      You opened your mouth
      Proud 🌈🌈🌈

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    3. I called her a racist bitch in reality

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  23. Aw, I'm sorry, John. Hope you're okay now. Xx

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  24. Bloody good for you xx

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  25. Traveller9:22 pm

    it doesn’t surprise me John. look at the rhetoric coming from Reform and, if that party isn’t racist and divisive enough for you, there is always Restore Britain - legalization of pepper spray anyone.

    It’s as if the clock has turned back to the days when casual racism was fine…no not casual racism, overt racism. I recently disagreed with someone who thought the late 60s were a time when anyone could do anything. Zero recognition of the racism, sexism and rampant homophobia that existed back then. Read Sajid Javid’s new book and see what he had to put up with.

    End of rant - give Weaver a stroke.

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  26. Anonymous9:25 pm

    So, you happy with all these young men, mostly muslims, arriving here day after day in droves and your taxes keeping them all? They never arrive in rags, having undertaken arduous long journeys to reach Europe do they? You being gay should be very careful, their religion dictates homosexuality is wrong oh and don't keep pets, animals are for eating. Wake up West, before it's too late, although it might be already. Poland has the right idea, trying to save OUR way of life by sending these opportunists back. Lalala, call me racist for wanting to preserve my Country. Signed by Sandra Knight

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    1. There has to be some border control but despite their anti homophobic views i wish these individuals well in their quest for a better life

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  27. If someone's going to spout racist hate in public, they have to be prepared to have the alleged "courage of their convictions" and stand up to challenge. Most are incapable of that, quite frankly.

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    1. To be honest she had no idea she was overheard

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    2. Anonymous10:31 am

      And everyone is entitled to have a conversation with someone without someone like you eavesdropping and jumping in. Still it makes a good blog post eh?

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  28. That was well deserved. Bravo!

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  29. Anonymous11:35 pm

    Bravo John!
    Sydney

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  30. We know she only added save the children because it might make her sound less like a monster.
    You did the right thing.
    "Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented"

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  31. “If you’ve ever wondered what you would have done during the Holocaust,
    you’re doing it now.

    “If you’ve ever wondered what you would have done during the civil rights movement,
    you’re doing it now.

    “If you’ve ever wondered what you would have done during the Underground Railroad
    You’re doing it now.

    “If you’ve ever wondered what you would have done during Japanese internment camps,
    you’re doing it now.

    “If you’ve ever wondered where you’d land in history,
    you’re doing it now.”

    —M. Byrd on Medium, 2020

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  32. Anonymous12:40 am

    Thank you for caring and for speaking up. Now is the time to stand up, speak up and support compassion ( especially here in the USA.)
    Linda from Alabama

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  33. Anonymous12:59 am

    Thank you for speaking out for those who cannot (in more ways than one) Olivia

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  34. Anonymous1:43 am

    Good for you speaking up John! Many people don’t seem to value human lives anymore… unless they are white. Shame on her and those that think like her. Cali

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  35. I've done the same thing. Goid job.

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  36. I understand your emotion but I wish you could have engaged her in a civil debate. You haven't changed her mind and I'm sure all she remembers is that you screamed a profanity at her. If you'd been able to civilly tell her why you thought she was wrong you would have proved yourself as better than her.

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    1. Anonymous10:28 am

      Well said Linda. By screaming at her all he did was bring himself down to her level.

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    2. Well you both are better people than I am

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    3. Don't get me wrong John, I understand but just wish it could have gone the other way.

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  37. Anonymous5:28 am

    John, thank you for standing up for these poor people. Do not apologize again. You did the right thing. I’m so amazed at the hate. You are definitely my hero.sending love and peace.❤️ Carol in Atlanta

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  38. Sadly our present 'society' is creating people of extremes. When the population feel as if their own government is doing nothing to solve a problem, they will go to others who promise that they will. In France we had Le Pen, and here we have Farage. It creates more division than harmony.

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  39. I had a nice man strike up a conversation with me this afternoon. Then he mentioned about a child who had passed by where we were sitting. He told his wife that the child was a whinging brat. I told them that being out for hours was tiring if you're a little girl, and I would be grateful to have a kind mother to pick me up too.

    Nothing wrong with a little kindness and compassion. The world would be a better place if we were all nicer.

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  40. Anonymous8:10 am

    Well said John, you were absolutely right to say something and I, along with your other commentators, are glad that you did. Your shaking afterwards was probably due to the adrenalin shot. I'm always hoping that Karma catches up with these racist people. Hugs Ro (n.w.Italy)

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  41. Anonymous9:35 am

    its been in the news that these so called illegal refugees have been hanging around school gates , young teens have been raped, seeing that you lot want pedos and rapists here, maybe some of your computers need looking at

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    1. What a stupid comment

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    2. Anonymous2:03 pm

      Perhaps you don't follow the news John.

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    3. again anonymous troll tries and fails. Go away.

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    4. Anonymous11:08 am

      None of your business Linda Sue. Linda Sue? Yeah right.

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  42. Anonymous10:14 am

    It is necessary to challenge these ideas and people need to stop believing the crap written in the press. My mother reads the Mail and reports stuff to me, I challenge her every time,I can't ignore racism. She is 95 this year but still believes the nonsense she reads. Racism and bigotry cannot be ignored, not by me anyway. Carole R

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  43. Thank you John for speaking out, we all need to be a bit braver and challenge that which is wrong.

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  44. People forget their humanity. The people washing up on your shores are fleeing horrors we can only imagine, and we do far to little to improve their lives so they don't feel the need to abandon all they have ever known to go someplace where they know no one, in many cases don't speak the language. She should think for a moment how horrible things would have to be, for her to get in a sinking overloaded boat to cross the channel.

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  45. Well done for being brave enough to speak out. It's very hard to find the right words to say in the heat of a shocked moment. But you said something and that is what really matters. ♥️

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  46. Anonymous12:18 pm

    You did the right thing. I like to think I would have done the same.

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  47. Anonymous12:41 pm

    You gave the game away when you called that woman a 'bitch'. So, it's racist vs misogynist. Not a lot to choose between. Also, pointing the metaphorical finger at others never works, because there are always more fingers pointing back at yourself. And 'holier than thou' virtue signalling usually falls at the first hurdle too. You used to send animals to the abbatoir. You eat animal flesh. So how would you feel if a random animal rights supporter came up to you, whilst buying meat, in a supermarket and shouted 'murdering scumbag'? You see, it works both ways.

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    1. Comparing oranges to apples

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    2. Anonymous2:00 pm

      Very true.

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    3. Anonymous2:02 pm

      Well said anonymous commenter

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    4. There is a better way to address differences. John is intelligent and well thought out. Using those attributes would have served him better. Two people screaming at each other settles nothing. This is the state of our world today. John, I respect you, just not in this instance.

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    5. Anonymous troll , you are anonymous ,irrelevant in your comment- apples and oranges indeed. Read a book- get smart.

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    6. Anonymous11:06 am

      Linda Sue - it was John that made the oranges and apples comment. There's egg on your face.

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  48. This is a normal day here in the US. MAGA fools speaking so freely now they have elected officials sharing their views. But I see we're bombing Iran to detract from the Epstein files. It's unbelievable. What a world we're living in.

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  49. I try hard to stay away from discussions such as this. It is getting more and more difficult to find anything to read that does not lead down the path to division these days. Makes me sad.

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  50. Krayolakris1:43 pm

    Good on you, John! Shame on that horrible woman.

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  51. Jackie M2:29 pm

    When I read this, it was though I felt your emotions as this happened to you. Very traumatic. Take care of yourself.

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  52. Anonymous3:19 pm

    Years ago I had a work friend who was a refugee from Vietnam. A kind, gentle soul who never fully recovered from losing his entire family at age 12 when their rickety escape boat capsized. I have another friend who volunteered with rescued Vietnamese refugee children who were so traumatized that they would cling to her en masse, even holding onto her pencil if they couldn’t squeeze close to any other part of her. Different time, but same tragedies. These are the stories we thus-far-fortunate ones need to spread and hear…

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    1. Anonymous3:26 pm

      Which, btw, I would never have thought to say in the moment, and deeply regretted later!!!

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  53. Bravo. We cannot tolerate that kind of hatred. She wants to just let people drown?

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  54. Anonymous6:53 pm

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  55. Good on you, John!!!

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  56. I belong to a group of 'pink ladies' where we are concerned for the safety of our women as there have been sexual assaults in this area by migrants in a hotel here, which went to court and sentences were handed out. However, I don't wish any harm on these people who are looking for a better life and I certainly don't approve of public outbursts like the one you witnessed by ignorant, biased people. I think you were quite right to respond to what you witnessed. Because there is no clear picture of how to manage these numbers and process them fairly and quickly, it is causing huge anger and unrest in our community, but Im surprised it's reached such hostile proportions in your sleepy village. I just thought I would comment, not in defence of the very bad attitude you witnessed, but to give perspective to the conversation.

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  57. Anonymous2:24 pm

    Call me naive but what is most upsetting to me is the fact that so many need to escape these countries which impose terrible conditions on their citizens. I dont know how but somehow these countries have to be liberated from these frightful cruel regimes. If I lived in one I would do anything to escape. I have met many immigrants and they have been wonderful generous people and most appreciative of any kindness that is shown to them. The intake has to be controlled. Show them kindness and they will assimilate very quickly.

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  58. Thank you for speaking up. In this day and time, silence = complicity. We have got to let out voices and perspectives be heard to counteract theirs.

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes