In 1989 I had never looked after an orthodox Jewish patient, let alone supervised the care of one recently deceased. My patient had a large extended family with various male spokesmen who centred their interactions with the one male doctor on duty as well as myself.
As a gauche young man and an inexperienced nurse, I knew enough to be respectful and open to the family’s needs and was introduced to Benesh just before my patient died.
Benesh was a Shomer . A mature Jewish man of faith and seriousness, who had been asked to attend as a watchman over my patient from death to burial. He was quiet and respectful, but was keen to explain his role to me as I provided a link with the clinical side of the ward.
He explained his job of reciting Tehillim ( psalms ) as he physically guarded the void , left by the departing soul. His patient was therefore not abandoned in anyway, and I remember feeling the power of the support quietly being emitted by these respectful young men as they went along with their work.
Is there anything else I should be doing ?
I remember asking Benesh as I entered the single ward.
Be quiet and deliberate and respectful he said with a smile and in my 60s that respect for stillness and tradition remains with me .
It shows in a need for an unhurried quietness which seems innate and normal to me.
This is so lovely, thankyou for sharing this with us x
ReplyDeleteRespect for all, in life and in death. If only everyone did that, what a wonderful world it would be. xx
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely. ❤️
ReplyDeleteI loved reading this it seemed to restore my faith and belief.
ReplyDeleteThe news from the USA of the murder of the young nurse by ICE in MN has deeply upset me. Thank you for posting. Carole R
Well said, Carole. My heart bleeds for what is happening in the US.
DeletePerhaps we'd better leave poitics out of it. Everyone is entitled to their view but respect others and keep those views to yourself.
DeleteTrumps ice have proved themselves to be heavy handed and thuggish
DeleteTouching.
ReplyDeleteWhat an absolutely lovely custom. I have learned something new today.
ReplyDeleteAnother entry for you book.
ReplyDeleteAnother meaningful gem of a story, thanks John.
ReplyDeleteThis same quiet dignity and respect with the deceased until the funeral is found in tribal cultures around the world from the Indigenous people of America/Canada, Australia, Polynesia, Africa, Celts, Ancient Vikings to the Sampi people of the arctic.
ReplyDeleteChristianity absorbed many of these pagan practices, but somewhere along the way f9r many as modern society has "evolved/devolved" we've forgotton or cast aside such integrity. A little respect... as they say.
What a perfect lesson in the care of the dying for you as a new nurse.
ReplyDeleteSugar snow is falling here and there are about 11 more hours of snow or sleet expected here. Brrrrr!
Hugs!
These words work for virtually any new situation one might find themselves in, really.
ReplyDeleteWe are surrounded by so many teachers if we only open ourselves to their teachings.
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful that you learned this lesson early on in your nursing career.
ReplyDeleteA nice mix of the spiritual and the secular in that one, John.
ReplyDeleteI can understand that there are many tasks, rules, and routines in hospice care. Thanks for finding the moments of holiness.
ReplyDeleteBonnie in Minneapolis
Be quiet, deliberate and respectful. Good practice. This can be wisely and appropriately applied to many situations in everyday life.
ReplyDeleteSusan, those are my exact words. :)
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