Following Through

 I’ve got an explosive cough as well as a post viral malaise
And I’ve felt very unwell since Friday.
The verb “ explosive” has been chosen with care here, 
For I was caught unawares like a lone zebra on the savannah when I ventured to Sainsbury’s for supplies 
The coughing fit started in the medicine aisle.
Just before I took a swig of cough suppressant. 
The wet farts a mini second later
And my body suddenly became my mother, 
An evil entity whose only existence was to embarrass me publicly.
Red faced I galloped for home

The German shook his head when I videoed him the news
“ yu ‘ave passed the point of no return” was all he could say



6 comments:

  1. Well, I hope you're over the worst of it all now. A few days of R&R, snuggled up with the fur babies is my prescription. Time to message a few people to bring supplies and comfort, methinks. Get well soon, and thanks for the update. I know I'm not the only one who was getting worried! xx

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  2. Oh dear. Here we call wet farts, sharts. Hope you made it home before there was too much damage done to your undershorts. Been there, done that. You're not alone:)

    Sending hugs John.

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  3. Oh no! Sharts are THE WORST. I hope your day improves!

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  4. Yorkshire Liz4:57 pm

    Oh dear. I can feel a bout of second hand embarrassment coming on. But you are now at the stage of sounding even worse than you feel. But don't forget - we have all been there, done that, wiped....anything and possibly everything....on the t shirt. Courage, death heart!

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  5. It is true, things get worse before they get better.
    I hope you are still laughing. Plus, the message from the German is so typical: direct to the point and with no embellishment. I am just hoping, you can only get this virus once.

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  6. Anonymous5:15 pm

    Jesus John , welcome to my everyday world

    Lee

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes