Goosed In The Knackers

The Bastards

This post was written exactly eleven years ago…how things change but a nice one remembered

Meet " The Bastards"These two young and badly behaved lodgers have arrived just before Christmas and will be guests on the field until sometime in February. They are the property of the owner of a local bed & breakfast, who is off to Malaysia for a month. I didn't know him from Adam when he turned up with the sob story of not having a goose sitter, but true to form, I accepted the challenge, even though the new bees are two of the most narky, bad tempered birds that I have ever had the misfortune to meet.
Ever since they arrived the resident flock of geese, the sheep and a few of the older, slower hens have been pecked,intimidated and bullied , so much so That I have had to employ a daily regime of behavior modification in order to assert my dominance over the pair, who think nothing of slipping an orange beak down the crack of your underpants in order to grab a pound of flesh when you are bending over a feed bucket!

So, every morning I will drag each bird out of their house. Take a firm hold of their neck and wings, then will take a walk around the field with the bird tightly tucked underneath my armpit.
It's an old trick that can tame an aggressive cockerel, for after a while, you can actually feel the bird " relax" a sign that it has accepted you are the boss.
It's labour intensive...but effective.
And so, every morning I look like a strange Scot playing a set of white bagpipes around the field, as " The Bastards" are hopefully transformed from evil devil birds to a pair of twittering canaries .
Having said this, I was goosed in the knackers rather violently only this morning, when I dropped my guard opening up the goose house......

The resident goose flock

Russell, Camilla Parker Bowles, Winnie, and Jo

Ps. The Bastards stayed for over a year, before a lesbian Policewoman from Llanfair TH called Bunty finally took them over.