When I’m dead and gone, some unfortunate fucker will have to sort through my shit. In my bathroom they will find a few figures of cats. Whimsical childlike cats with Asian features, each with a raised paw and a tinking bell.
And no doubt they will think
What the fuck did he have these for?
They were a gift from my friend Ben
He’s a gentle soul, who started in the hospice the same week as I did.
An academic who worked with my ex husband, Ben bridges the gap between university and clinical practice. He is liked and respected for his considered approach to patient care, and has a sort of universal connection to races and cultures from all over the world. His wife is Korean and his family live in the US, and he bought the cats in Japan at his brother in law’s wedding.
In Japan the cats will bring their owner good fortune and money.
I’m all for that,
And apparently they should sit somewhere high up, where traffic is high
The shelf above the loo seems practical and pragmatic
It’s out of the psychopath Weaver’s evil clutches
And there they will sit, smiling benignly on my big hairy arse every time I sit down to contemplate the world.
Like antique or my cottage, or the paintings on my art wall….. I won’t own these cats, I will just look after them for a while until they find a new home.
And I hope they do indeed bring me and their next owner good luck
I was told that the cats should face the window also John, then they can catch the luck (and money) as it goes past the window. Hope it works for you. Amy
ReplyDeleteTurned accordingly xx
DeleteYa know John, the people who will go through our houses when we're gone are going to have the same reaction. "WTF did they have THAT for? :)
ReplyDeleteExactly ….nearly everything in my cottage has some emotional significance
DeleteAh, John, the comments from folks here will be to wonder if we kept every single thing since childhood or marriage. Also things from parent and grandparents .... oh, dear. We seem to lack the 'sell it' genes but have the 'donate' genes.
ReplyDeleteLove the whimsical cats and am glad they're out of Weaver's reach!
Have a lovely evening, darling John!
Hugs!
You too babs xx
DeleteThey may indeed say "WTF?", and they will do so with a smile and perhaps a giggle or two.🥰
ReplyDeleteStay safe & well, John dear.
Thank you dearHeart x
DeleteThey look like happy cats, despite living above the loo!
ReplyDeleteI use lots of bleach
Delete"And there they will sit, smiling benignly on my big hairy arse every time I sit down to contemplate the world".
ReplyDeleteOh, how I needed that laugh today!
lol well if they can sit through that they can sit through anything
DeleteThey make you happy and that is important. I have a bathroom wall with art related to the dog breed I have. Makes me smile.
ReplyDeletePerhaps they will bring me lots of £££££
DeleteEvery time you look at your eclectic collection, you are reminded of a person, a place, a moment, and that is priceless. I love all my bits of stuff, they spell home and love to me. xx
ReplyDeleteThey spell people to me
DeleteIf I was going to put money on where the riches might come from, I'd go the Virgin Mary route. Just sayin'. :)
ReplyDeleteI once worked in a dreadful nursing home with a terrible manager , who loved that statue, she was a bitch ……I took that statue on my last shift
DeleteJohn, don't worry about what people might "think". For all you know they'll bag the lot for themselves. Anyway, maybe not much comfort, but you won't know anything about what's happening to your treasures - being dead that is. Thank god for small mercies.
ReplyDeleteTalking of which: My father never disappoints. Mr Tidy. I try to keep my feelings what he did under wraps since the question "What on earth were you thinking" won't make any difference. My mother died three months ago. I asked my father - two months in - whether he could make sure all her papers, notes, letters were kept safe for me to pick up some time - we do live in different countries so I can't just swing by. HA! Trust my father, and here I'll echo your WTF: He has already disposed of it all. Bin. Seriously?
What's the rush? Those were papers, in her hand writing, she had promised me. It's unbelievable. Whatever. I'll get over it.
U
PS What would a counsellor say if I ran to him or her?
The counsellor would nod and would hear your righteous pain…I’m sorry
DeleteI’m sorry for your loss Ursula
DeleteDoes this mean that mummy and daddy are talking again ?
DeleteLee
Lol
DeleteIve recently been showing an unhealthy interest in death clearing, a Swedish practice where you basically clear out your crap b4 you die so your family don't have to - we're doing it at the mo (family photos, garage junk, etc). It does feel a bit clinical though so Im not taking it too far! Betty
ReplyDeleteI’ve talked about this practice before…..it’s generally therapeutic but there are limits x
DeleteNot being in the mood to philosophize right now I will simply say that I love those cats. Very much.
ReplyDeleteAnd strangely I loved the simple paper bags they were in full of Japanese writing
DeleteJohn, I have that exact same grey one which, yes, I bought in Japan when I was there in 2012! It's part of my small "maneki neko" ("lucky cats") collection of 14 such felines scattered around my home.
ReplyDeleteFunny I’ve taken two by mistake , the grey one was mine lol
DeleteYou have Mother Mary watching over you as you sit your hairy arse down? (Your words, not mine). Too funny.
ReplyDeleteShe was stolen , see above
DeleteOMG! That's even better!
DeleteI would never buy those cats but I love them every time I see them. Is your toilet a high traffic area?
ReplyDeleteAt night it is …hey ho
DeleteLove the cats. What is the significance of the tiny bells?
ReplyDeleteMy relatives, before they die, identify who will get what and this seems to work well. I will likely do the same.
These little cats are everywhere in Thailand, I was told the bell is thought to ward off evil spirits and bring good luck 🙂
DeleteHave it in your will that the "unfortunate fucker" reads this post first.
ReplyDeleteHa! That's hilarious!
DeleteLolxxxx
DeleteI pity the poor 'House Clearer' who has to deal with all my stuff. Nightmare!
ReplyDeleteHappy cats!
ReplyDeleteNo one will fully understand my cabinet of curiosities when I am gone,
ReplyDeleteI have loads of stuff collected from travels plus other stuff just because I liked it at the time. My late husbands Grandson one day after hubby died came and told me he and wife were going to clean up my house. First up they moved a lot of stuff to the basement so they could clean. I was a bit annoyed because I couldn’t find certain things that I used often such as my soup pot. The house looked so much nicer when they finished that most of the “stuff” is still down there being ignored. I feel bad for my daughter who will be tasked with getting rid of my belongings that I have been trying to put things in the garbage when I feel up to it. Yesterday it was a rum barrel about a foot long with a spigot on it that we had on the boat in Grenada. It was fun at sundowners for dispensing our cheap rum. Instead of putting it in the garbage, I put it on the curb and within an hour it had been rehoused. Gigi
ReplyDelete"sort through my shit..." You are advised to wear a face mask and a pair of Marigolds. Use tweezers to pick out the parasitical little worms that are sure to be found in the aforementioned "shit".
ReplyDeleteI m laughing! But I laugh at all your comments, English humour is the best. Gigi
DeleteHope they bring you lots of luck, John.
ReplyDeleteIt is the stories that go with our things that determine their value to the next generation.
ReplyDeleteI miss Albert...
ReplyDeletethis was one of my favorite of your posts; it brought to me a smile I have similar things lying about.
ReplyDeletethose are Happy Cats. In theory you should have a white one, a black one and a gold one. I never did get the gold.
ReplyDelete