I now have a strange etherial shadow dominating the sight in my right eye.
It’s a misty ghost
An apparition
A sea mist on a Christmas morning
And something the eye consultant warned me of .
When I close my eyes in the sunshine
I can see the shadow of the bleed quite clearly, a dark amoeba against a pink eyelid
My bestie Nu has had some health problems recently and admitted to me that she suddenly felt old
I understood that feeling today , when I left the darkness of my front door with the dogs , totally unsure of where my feet had ended up on a wet path as black as midnight.
Mary has milky eyes and is careful where she steps and I now understand her hesitations as we both let Roger now take the lead.
Something he has never done before.
In the dark my sweet young boy now takes point position
His head held high
And we follow him
Trusting his dim old head and his happy personality .
Oh squire that made me cry
ReplyDeleteNot for u
But for Roger
Lee
I always keep my eyes on the ground when I am walking. I am so afraid of falling. Be careful, John.
ReplyDeleteSince my catastrophic trripping over a year ago I've been doing daily balance, muscle-strengthening exercises (esp. in legs), even some basic Tai-chi - including the recommendation NOT to keep looking at the ground when walking, though I can well understand why one does - and it seems to be working. Fully aware that any repetition of what happened then could well mean the end of me.
DeleteYes, the advice is actually to look at the ground well ahead of you to spot any tripping hazard etc that might come up.
DeleteRoger, the seeing eye dog, good boy. I am finding it harder driving when it is very grey or also when very sunny. Take care in the dark, John, go slow. Gigi
ReplyDeleteGive Roger a little kiss on the top of his head for me.
ReplyDeleteThat's a wonderful photo, but I think it's aged you too much!! Aches, pains, bits of the body letting us down - all parts of the joys of extra years.
ReplyDeleteThis is a terrific pic. Actually it is artistic and an actually like portraiture. Your face is well suited to that jumper, or rather that jumper really suits you. I love polo jumpers , Are you going to sing a sea shanty at the concert you old sailor♥️
ReplyDelete‘Do not go gentle into that good night’ by Dylan Thomas, but enjoy your days every day John along with your canine guiding lights🙏. Jan in Castle Gresley
ReplyDeleteSweet trusty Roger. He is going to guide the way.
ReplyDeleteRoger is stepping up! He gets it.
ReplyDeleteAging humbles us all, it's true. But we're tougher old birds than we think we are!
ReplyDeleteI recently came face to face with a situation that could have limited how I live my life. I've been lucky and I'm on the road to recovery. When I'm better I want to make sure I appreciate the little things more. I maybe getting older but I'm not done yet.
ReplyDeleteWishing you, Nu, Mary, and all other living beings good health in every way, good medical care, enough food and water, and lots of hugs (or ear scratches) from everyone else. You've made me cry at what little I can do to really help.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
and what a wonderful painting of you. Hope it's where you can enjoy it every day.
Deletemore hugs!
Roger says he's always had your back and always will
ReplyDeleteAnd the portrait is gorgeous
ReplyDeleteI agree, it's the gradual changes to which we have to adapt that can be so hard. Hope it improves soon. I just love your boy Roger.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lovely portrait, you look a little wistful, or maybe just wondering if you can be bothered to see what mischief Weaver is up to! One thing's for sure, John, we are all getting older every day. Good that you and Mary have Roger to guide you. He may not be the brightest button in the box, but he's got your back. He'll look after you. Hugs. xx
ReplyDeleteIs it worth asking for a second opinion referral ? Bristol Eye hospital or Moorfields?
ReplyDeleteSiobhan x
Wait until you're 70 - it's awful!
ReplyDeleteTry 84 its even worse. Gigi
DeleteChin up old chap. I am only a few years ahead of you and have to say old age didn't creep up on me, it jumped up with a sudden loud scream.
ReplyDeleteHierarchy in the animal world is more blatant than with us mere humans. They let each other know who's boss.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it’s better than NOT getting older.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the same. I have two siblings that didn't!
DeleteIs that an AI image of you at the top? You look like a lifeboat man down at "The Jolly Pirate". And as for growing old, it's like a slow drip-drip day after day or like a slow-moving goods train. The endless black tunnel is just up ahead.
ReplyDeleteThe picture is lovely; you look so huggable. I don't use the phrase "getting older" I like "aging" much better. Aging for me has been a weird mix of scary body and health things, along with fantastic emotional growth and letting go of what no longer works for me. Therapy has helped my navigate aging for sure, and I will continue with it until I die. Will you be getting a therapist who specializes in therapy FOR therapists? My therapist still sees her therapist, 25 years now.
ReplyDeleteI love the image, a great portrait. Keep moving, if we don't the buzzards start to circle. The "adjustments" in life make us feel mature. The new normal, will become normal, in time, it takes time, and taking care of oneself.
ReplyDeleteYes, I can relate to all this John. I felt a bit panicky today when I realised we have moved to another rural area, which though lovely in some ways, does mean access to health care is problematic.
ReplyDeleteLovely image.
Alison in Devon x
It's so strange this aging thing. I'm terrified of falling now, having down so much of it lately. I worry about the cause, which is probably just inattention.
ReplyDeleteYour description of Mary made cry for some reason.
I heard someone describe people in the vicinity of my age (66) as the "young" olds, and I get it.
ReplyDeleteYou have such a gift for description. And you've made me weep for all of us who are getting older and more infirm every day. Sometimes I wonder how people do it, and then I realize we have no choice if we want to keep living.
ReplyDeleteIt’s a drag getting older. Sorry about your eye issues. Hang in there and keep moving forward. Cali
ReplyDeleteAging is horrible and I hate the limitations that I face at the moment. But hey, it's better than the alternative. 🤔
ReplyDeleteThat image of 'older you' is lovely, it captures your kindness. ❤️
We carry little flashlights to keep us aware ever since my husband tripped on a curb in the dark and went sprawling while our rescue dog ran off into the night. Thank God she found her way home. But ever since when we go out at night- the torches light our way!! I do love the portrait of older you and love your time with your dogs and cats. Take care. lini from petaluma
ReplyDelete🍷
DeleteAlways thankful for the gifts our 4 legged family give us. Sending lots of hugs and good thoughts.
ReplyDelete🩷🙏
DeleteHeadlamps! They are terrific; leave your hands free to deal with the dogs, take trash out, etc. One person I know who lives in a very small town in Utah has headlamps in every room, plus one in the car.
ReplyDeleteI’ve ordered some
DeleteTorch?
ReplyDeleteMacular degeneration, partly deaf. Most annoying thing is trying to look in my purse! I know whats in store for me, following my mum. 77 on Tuesday hey ho. Plenty folks worse off.
ReplyDeleteTry getting a couple of tennis balls and roll your feet over them for five minutes each foot. I don’t know the science behind it, but it improves mobility, makes you more sure footed. I presume it’s a circulation thing. Wish I had a tip for your eyes too!
ReplyDelete