Weaver From Hell



 I’m overdue with flea treatment 
Well Bun is sorted at least, that’s the easy job. Bloody Hell she’s over me like a proverbial rash 
No it’s Weaver’s turn 
And like Maggie Thatcher “ Weaver’s NOT for turning” 

She knew something was afoot after I had sat down on the sofa today, gently waving a piece of chicken at her. I was whistling which probably gave me away, but I had to do something, an hour had already gone past with me pretending to doze on the bed, ready to give her neck a squirt is she forgot herself and walked within touching distance. 
The flea spray pippette had been secreted in the folds of my jumper, but the bad tempered cat had already figured this subterfuge out and deliberately swiped my paper sculpture of the Sagrada Familia from my desk top, before staring at me with narrow eyes.
She a Nazi and  knows just how much I love that little keep sake.

I threw a tiny bit of chicken at her and she gave me one of her now famous fuck off looks and ignored it 
The Mexican Standoff had begun. 
That was around twelve noon. 
It’s now almost four and I still have to corner my most bad tempered of pets.
I did get close, just the once , after I had lulled Weaver into a false sense of security by pretending to watch Antiques Roadtrip in the arm chair, a piece of meat, lazily dropped on my jumper front
This time she managed to take the chicken piece AND bite me and still have time to smack Roger a vicariously evil blow on the bottom as she ran outside.
She’s been outside ever since, mentally flipping me off, as she watches the kitchen activity with all the look of disgusted serial killer. 

18 comments:

  1. Perhaps try a CS spray gun?

    ReplyDelete
  2. It takes two of us to pop the drops on Lillys neck, they have a sense when we are coming.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yorkshire Liz3:49 pm

    Not enough liquid in the pipette to use a water pistol. You have to be as cunning as your cat; she is a really spikey girl, isn't she? I'm not taking bets on which one of you wears the other down. Thank goodness it's not a worming tablet! Good luck - we have all been there.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous3:50 pm

    What a picture you ‘paint’ with your words, best laugh I’ve had all day. She really is a hellcat but you will master her, good luck. Jan in Castle Gresley

    ReplyDelete
  5. How splendid to find that the antics of 'Going Gently' continue after such a long absence on our part.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, John that did make me laugh! When we had our two cats, one was like a little teddy bear. I could pick him up apply the flea stuff or pop a worming tablet down him with no fuss. The other was just like Weaver. He seemed to sense when there was something to be done and he became all teeth and claws! I finally discovered the way to get him was, close the cat flap in the back porch, somehow get him there, shut the kitchen door so there was no last minute escape, get him cornered, throw a towel round him somehow, wrap all 4 paws tightly in it, squirt the flea stuff in the vicinity of his neck, open the cat flap and let him zoom out! He'd stay out there for some time, sulking and calling me every name under the sun, I'm sure! Not like the TV adverts, is it? xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cats always know. We have to jab our diabetic cat twice a day. We do it as he eats. He's a greedy cat and nothing puts him off his food, fortunately.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This kind of cat is a two person job. I had one of those.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Barbara Anne4:15 pm

    Oh, yes, what a hoot if you're just reading your post but alas for your lost sleep. We had a cat like Weaver, 6th sense or born suspicious. It took a bath towel (no kitchen towel!) and all supplies ready and waiting. What names you're called thereafter don't matter. You can always sleep now and fight the good fight again another day. Good luck!

    Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Weaver is nothing like her namesake. She seems anything but gentle and docile. Wild one!
    Using a flea/tick collar that lasts for 6 months might be a good solution vs. a monthly solution.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh, those of us who are wannabe bitches can only ASPIRE to Weaver's level of expertise! This post gave me SUCH a good laugh -- thanks, John!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I don't think that this is how Pat Thistlethwaite would have carried on if you ever intended to squeeze your little pipette on her neck.

    ReplyDelete
  13. we have one who doesnt care and the other is a tiny axe murderer with designs on my life , usually involves letting her drink from the bathroom tap kicking the door shut , then the bloodshed begins and its usually mine

    ReplyDelete
  14. And now you know why dogs have my heart. I tolerate and can even enjoy indoor kitties. Been there, done that with our loved indoor-outdoor kitty but said Never Again! Wishing you very good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  15. How anyone puts up with pets that bite and scratch is beyond me. Some kind of love, patience, and tolerance that I don't seem to possess. Good for you, though, for being a better person than me!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous5:55 pm

    “ She knew something was afoot after I had sat down on the sofa today, gently waving a piece of chicken at her.”

    The best blog line this week

    Lee

    ReplyDelete
  17. I had the most placid of cats until it came to go to the Vets in a carrier or indeed try and put the Frontline on. They hated it. I never had them wear flea collars though as my cousin lost a beautiful black cat called Nostradamus through wearing a flea collar, it literally poisoned him. He lost all the fur on his neck and ended up being lethargic and sleeping a lot of time. He went out one day and never came back. Definitely corner them in a room and two person job. Preferably with gauntlets and wrap them in a towel whilst the other person administers the Frontline. Now you picked Weaver for her Sass but she can be turned. Just likes to keep you on her toes!

    ReplyDelete

I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes