A common theme in counselling is wellbeing and wellness. Helping the client to recognise strategies and mechanisms that enhance the nurturing of self.
To some it’s an alien concept.
Others may feel unworthy of such “selfishness”
I recognise the benefits of it, now and won’t automatically put others first as I often once did.
I am worth looking after, I have worth and rights and needs
And from that perspective I try to share my belief in self care to my clients.
This week is a case in point. I’m working sat and Sunday , and have already done a shift on Monday. Wednesday was my Counselling day
I’m on the train to London where I know my batteries will recharge under the ever mindful Nu.
I will leave you with the delightful Celia Imrie in Celebrity Traitors. Her total lack of guile is charming as it is hysterical
So true. So many of us have no problem putting others first, but feel guilty or selfish if we consider ourselves. Getting someone to really believe that their own self care is necessary is a long road. Two steps forward, one step back at times.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your Nu time. I'm sure you both recharge each other's batteries! xx
It's a short and dangerous step from putting others first to becoming a martyr, and dealing with the saintly is mighty hard work.
ReplyDeleteWe were trained as kids, especially girls, that it was a religious duty to put others first. It's hard to unlearn that and recognize that we too are to be valued. I'm glad you're helping your clients act on this.
ReplyDeleteIt can take some time to get used to nurturing one's self, especially after a lifetime of putting others' feelings first. I think I am getting the hang of it now.
ReplyDeleteMy husband used to say, look after yourself, because if you don’t, no one else will. My mother was a martyr to all her friends and I saw it as her getting used. When I complain, my daughter says, we are strong independent women and we can do anything. I remind her of my age and she says, you are 84 and you are allowed to do anything you want now. Hope you are being restored by Nu and having lots of laughs. Gigi
ReplyDeleteHave a great time in London, and always take care of yourself. Many caregiver suffer from self neglect.
ReplyDeleteOh, how many embarrassing escaped farts are now going to be labelled as, 'doing a Celia'?
ReplyDeleteSelf-worth, self-esteem and self-care are equally important. When all are in balance, life feels good.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your time in London. R&R is key!
I have a hard time saying no when someone needs my help. I usually say yes even if I resent it a bit at times.
ReplyDeleteJohn, being kind to yourself is as important to being kind to others. That's why I end most emails with "Be good to you."
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad the train wasn't cancelled and that you're rolling merrily along!
Have a marvelous time and lots of laughs with the delightful Nu. This restorative trip is the perfect example of being good to you!!
Hugs!
Enjoy your trip and Nu's company..and refill that cup of caring... starting with the one who holds the cup... yourself.xx
ReplyDeleteHave fun and laugh till your sides split.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the clip -- I was thinking of watching Celebrity Traitors on a streaming service. Looks good.
ReplyDeleteYour own experience will be so helpful to others when you help them develop self care.
ReplyDeleteA Nu visit is balm for your soul, I know! I hope it is wonderful as always. I am still, 10 months after losing hubby so suddenly.......trying to find my self care routine. I was a social worker/tech back in my mid 20's (so, so many years ago) and have recently unearthed some of the techniques we had nutured our own patients with....the concept of keeping a *joy jar*.......which I am now working on for my self love much needed now. You know it........
ReplyDeleteSusan M/ Calif
For some reason, all I get on that video is someone cackling. None of the rest of it is legible.
ReplyDeleteGood on you. Best thing for me is a walk in the trees.
ReplyDeleteI love that clip! Celia is great.
ReplyDeleteO John, it is so true to take care of yourself before you can take care of your loved ones. But what if there is no time for that, because taking care takes all your time? Caring for my lovely husband with Parkinsons disease is exhausting me. The only solution is to let him go away which is hart-breaking. What a pain-full decision we have to make in our lives. It is good that you can help with these cases.
ReplyDeleteMy philosophy has been (and only through therapy have I been able to develop this) if I don't take care of myself first, then I can't fully show up for the people I love. My Hubs' has been the opposite - his whole life he was taught (by very critical and harsh parents) that others are more important than him; I weep for the little boy inside of him. He's in therapy and just had a session where the therapist tried to help him understand just how unhealthy putting yourself last is, how it hurts you and ultimately hurts others, as you become resentful, wondering when will it ever "be your turn." He is 65 years old, so this concept is very much foreign to him. He's having a hard time with thinking it's "selfish" to care for one's self, first. You will be changing lives, John.
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