Frivolity and death


 A shabby chic piece of Danish pottery. Not bought from Ikea but from a nearby store, it pleases me greatly. 
Recently, I’ve been looking into organising my funeral details and am in the process of sorting out a payment plan so I do question the buying of frivolous items such as this little jug, when I’m being made more aware of you can’t take things with you ……

Buying this 13£ piece of pottery is a bit like listening to Miranda Elloway, or Talia Grupo. 
Its similar to going to London to see Nu or my trip to Sheffield next week to see Jane and John H
And is the same as seeing that film at the Storyhouse or enjoying a pad Thai at the Chester Market.

It’s all about self care
It’s about respecting yourself enough to acknowledge you are worth caring about, you are worth the effort in buying a cheap pretty jug for yourself if the mood takes you.

And even if I die tomorrow, I have enjoyed my pretty Danish jug for those 24 hours of ownership

107 comments:

  1. Totally get that, John. We all need those little moments of joy. I do like that jug. I'd have bought it, too! xx

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  2. Yorkshire Liz12:05 pm

    And that is precisely the right attitude. As we age we become ever more conscious of mortality, but we cannot see into the future. To learn to stop asking the unanswerable about the future - how much longer it will be, how it will be - is truly unanswerable and unpredictable. So to learn to live in the moment but with responsibility becomes a matter of maturity and acceptance of the mystery of life as it should be lived. In the moment and forever. So buy your lovely little jug and enjoy it. As for me, I had all Sam Fender music for my birthday, and am collecting M W Craven's amazing thrillers. Seize the day!

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  3. Take care of yourself, every day that you can.

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  4. That's a sweet jug and it is worth the joy.

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  5. Jean E.12:36 pm

    I love those sentiments. Now that I am in my 70's I need to take care of myself as well. After working for over 40 years, sometimes I tell myself, you can sit and watch tv all day. You've earned it.

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  6. Jackie12:38 pm

    You already know that I agree with you. For a short period of time I thought that I should get rid of items my family would most likely not want. I collect raku pottery and no one in my family/friend circle likes it. I have now realized that "stuff" makes me happy. I told my son and daughter-in-law (they live in Michigan) that there are many estate sale businesses here where I live (Georgia) and they can just hire them to deal with it all!

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  7. I've decided not to worry about decluttering. My children will (or not) enjoy sorting through our stuff when we're no longer here to protest their treatment of it. The may discover things of interest, who knows?

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    Replies
    1. I wish I had children to leave my loved items too, but we can’t have everything

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    2. My children want nothing, not the family silver, not the antique quilts, not even things like my dad's [made for me] Noah's Ark with 30 pairs of handcarved animals. They already have the dumpster rental on speed dial. I guess I won't care at that point.

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    3. I love your little folk art quilt Lizzy. I hope they will keep and display that, as you made it.

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    4. Thanks, Kath! No it is someday Dumpster destined, but the making, the planning, the hand sewing of my quilts has given me hours of joy and some days just a reason to get out of bed and keep going.

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    5. I get that totally. I'm going through some stressful times and my hand stitching is calming for me. Keep making lovely things Lizzy!

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    6. Jo in Auckland2:27 am

      Lizzy could you donate your quilts to local retirement homes or something like that to be displayed. Seems a crying shame that they will be dumped... it's sad!

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  8. Krayolakris1:01 pm

    The jug is lovely and worth more than its price for the joy it gives you.

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  9. Anonymous1:02 pm

    Agree with others comments that we all need treats and imho the trend for supercharged de - cluttering can be a bit of a bore. It's a lovely piece of pottery.
    Alison in Devon x

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  10. Barbara Anne1:09 pm

    The jug is lovely and I'm glad it now has a wonderful new home (just keep it behind glass so the cats cannot knock it off)! That reminds me of something I recently read: we know the earth cannot be flat because cats would have knocked everything over the edge by now. So true!
    I so agree that we each deserve to purchase affordable items that bring us joy, for today or as many days as we have left. We're WORTH it!

    Hugs!

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    1. I’m looking for a replacement paper sculpture of the
      Sagrada Família

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    2. Try the cathedral's website/ gift shop or Amazon.

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    3. I come up with quite a few via google search.

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  11. I've already arranged and paid for my sendoff, no funeral. Meanwhile I'm enjoying each day. I'm decluttering because I want to spare my son the stress, though.

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    Replies
    1. Yes the rubbish in my house has gone, with only my spare bedroom to do. My great niece has some taste so I hope some of my stuff she may enjoy, I suspect my twin sisters collections will go to her too

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  12. Anonymous1:25 pm

    It’s early Friday morning here and in the same mindset I have just bought myself a ticket to the Rockets Christmas Show on Xmas eve at Radio City
    Just me and some chocs


    Hurrah

    Lee

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    1. Barbara Anne3:38 pm

      I saw the Rocketts in 1964 when my aunt took me to NYC for the World's Fair. The Rocketts were amazing and I'm glad to know they're still at Radio City Music Hall!
      Enjoy your happiness and joy splurge!

      Hugs!

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    2. Oh Lee , we saw the rockets on holiday in New York one Christmas , I remember they brought a camel on stage in the nativity scene , which was cheesy as hell but strangely moving

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  13. Anonymous2:09 pm

    I have passed my time to declutter my house, I physically can’t do it. My girls will have to do it when I am gone. They will be paying for their inheritance lol. I like my stuff and having it around me. I would have purchased that jug too. I have a thing for bowls and jugs. I told my daughter to just go to the funeral home when I die and ask them to look up what I did for J my husband and have them do the same for me. I bought a cheap pair of winter shoes yesterday and of course could have done without them but oh well. Gigi

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    Replies
    1. When I’m gone there will be only two younger female relatives left , both I like..I will request they take what they want after I’m gone. Specific items will be bequeathed to dear friends

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  14. Anonymous2:16 pm

    I don't even try to resist little pitchers and sugar bowls especially. They are FUNCTIONAL for flower arrangements and handfuls of acorns and other treasures. The worn glaze on the rim and handle are especially attractive.

    Ceci

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    Replies
    1. Yes I fell for the weathered look too

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  15. I, too, will continue to buy cheap Danish pottery and whatever else strikes. It makes me happy!

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  16. Enjoy the jug. I'm pretty sure you've got at least twenty-five more years in you to enjoy your jug.

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  17. Hear, hear, John. Congrats on your accomplishments & your service to your patients & colleagues.

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  18. The older I get, the more conscious I am that we 'can't take it with us'.

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    Replies
    1. I have decluttered several times, since my divorce , lots have been culled

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  19. Yes, to doing whatever makes you happy.
    Life is short so let's have fun!

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    Replies
    1. 13.50£ for a smile ? Cheap at half the price

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  20. My daughter knows that I collect some things...but has asked for a list of Things Worth Keeping and/or Valuable...
    She can decide herself on the rest... which I'm slowly finding good homes for. I can't just skip things...

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    Replies
    1. I have a few paintings that are worth a little and a pair of Denby art deco bookends as well as a ton of deco burleigh ware..everything else is pleasing tat lol

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    2. Oh and an early Victorian grandfather clock

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  21. Life is too short to spend it worrying about what happens afterwards!

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    1. I’m wondering who will take the jug after I go

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  22. I get it. You are on the right path to self care. You ARE worth it.

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  23. I agree about the importance of self care! Enjoy that beautiful little jug!

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    Replies
    1. It’s robust , so may survive weaver’s wrath

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  24. Sometimes,when I stumble across something, I just want it, a most powerful want. They are never expensive gee-gaws. I can never explain it to myself. I don't even try to. I am glad you got your little jug.

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    1. Yes, I have the same , and like you my must haves are never out of my price range
      ( the exception of these was my very expensive pair often by dogs bookends)

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  25. Yellow Shoes5:36 pm

    A great attitude - I’m all for self-care, in all its forms.

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  26. Exactly. You can't take it with you, which is the perfect reason to enjoy it while you're here.

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    Replies
    1. “No pockets in a shroud” is a famous Welsh saying

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  27. Most of what your cited examples are of experiences with people or places close to your heart. The cute Danish Jug is an aesthetic item that helps feed your soul (otherwise we would all be eating takeout from the carton while standing over the kitchen sink). It is pretty and now carries your story.

    Will Jay

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  28. I would have bought it too.

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  29. Anonymous7:08 pm

    I decluttered four years ago when I moved into my retirement apartment , from a large brownstone three story town home.
    I regret letting so much go

    Keith

    Xx

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  30. I love that little jug! These are the gifts we give ourselves when we live one day at a time. No matter our age, that's all we have and I say enjoy this precious find.
    Besides, who are the money police? Some doofus troll? It's no one's business how much money you spend. Now, if you are showing us a bargain, I'm on board. :)

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    1. I’m surprised the troll hasn’t resurfaced

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  31. It's charming. Will it be filled with fall berries and flowers, or milk for your tea? But I still want to see the spotty plates.

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  32. Anonymous7:49 pm

    After clearing my mother's, stepmother's, and grandmother's houses, I can say that it's not the collections that drive you crazy. Those are dealt with by bringing in an estate sale agent, hiring a skip, and some trips to charity shops. It's the drawers, shelves, boxes, and bags of PAPER that no one has looked at in years. You can't hire anyone else to do it, and you can't just chuck it out for fear of what might be in there.

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    1. I recognise that , I have streamlined all relivent paperwork into one file

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    2. My brother and sister-in-law had to go through her mother's huge collection of magazines because she would stash money in them. All in all, they eventually found over $600 in cash.

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    3. Anonymous7:15 pm

      Please, please tell me how you get it all into one file lol
      Katylee

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    4. I'm currently tending to my late dad's estate. Relevant paperwork is not a whole lot.
      The main thing is to make sure every investment or account is documented. People often have bank accounts, shares or superannuation they have forgotten and an executor has no real way to track it down.
      Nearly everything else can be sorted by a call to the Relevant authority

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  33. Anonymous11:23 pm

    It’s a lovely jug. You should have in your home things that you know to be useful, or consider to be beautiful and this scores on both counts. Decluttering is just that - getting rid of things that don’t give you joy, not stripping your home of everything. I love the comment above about eating takeout over the kitchen sink! Love your home and your carefully collated items and pictures. Don’t worry about what comes after. Athene

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  34. Buy it while you can.

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  35. Good grief, John, just as you're entering a new phase of your very interesting life! While it is good to have plans for the future, one should not dwell on it. Especially one as talented as you. C'mon man, get out of the dumps!

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    1. I’m not in the dumps my friend just reflective

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  36. That jug is delightful - I can see it filled with winter branches - I can't remember the name for them - the ones with clusters of bright red/orangy berries. I've had to deal with three post-death house clearances, and they're hard work. We've also downsized ourselves, so we're now conscious that for everything that comes IN, one (at least) must go OUT. I'm slowly finding homes for things that I once valued, but really don't need any more. Preferably to someone who does actually have a use for it.

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    1. I've looked them up, and you're probably right. When we were in England in autumn the trees around the roads near Liverpool were loaded with them.

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  37. Anonymous5:55 am

    John , this post made so much sense to me. At 74 1/2 I’ve been told by my therapist to practice self care and love. My reply was that I had no idea what that meant!! I’ve been a caregiver since I was about 4. She told me to think of it as appreciating myself. I’ve never enjoyed spending on myself but giving away fills me with joy. I love the jug! My mom collected pitchers and have some of those.
    Bought a tv and started Season one of Vera and Shetland. They are both great. I need to figure out how to get the American English translation subtitles. I can understand Vera but lots of guessing on Shetland. Enjoy your weekend. Sending ❤️ Carol in Atlanta

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    1. I think just recognising that you have worth is important

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    2. Anonymous10:49 pm

      Thank you for reinforcing that! I never had. I’m working on this💗

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  38. Exactly right about the self care. Such pleasure can be enjoyed in certain things and it's so good to share your home with them. Am slowly decluttering things I no longer need or enjoy and have been trying to avoid the all important paperwork challenge! Must make a start somehow.

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    1. I’m going to put stickers on items to be left and whoom

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  39. Anonymous7:33 am

    I just bought a little bust of an owl reading Shakespeare. It’s ridiculous but I loved it.

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  40. I get you totally John. At the grand age of 68 I've just had my nails done! It feels like such an indulgence as I was brought up that we didn't "spoil ourselves".

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  41. Anonymous10:10 am

    Life is for living and of course we can't take it with us,but, any pleasure we get from items,a bunch of flowers or a trip to the theatre is worth it. However, I hate the idea of all my stuff being dumped,sold in a boot sale or worse in the bin when I go. Carole R.

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    Replies
    1. We never own antiques , we just look after them for a while

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  42. Anonymous1:40 pm

    Eye candy such as that little jug are as much treats for the soul as desserts are treats for the body. There are valuable, albeit intangible, vitamins in beautiful objects!

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    1. When I’m gone I will leave it to the velvet voiced Linda from well street

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  43. That's beautiful! A treat for the soul, as Anon says.I am *trying* to let things go but sometimes you need/want to have treats. And that's OK. We can't control what happens afterwards, so let's try to make the most of life now. Jxx

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    1. We should be always be surrounded by beauty

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  44. Absolutely -- we are all entitled to our little pleasures as long as life allows us.

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  45. Coincidentally I wrote about funerals this week. If you get pleasure from buying the jug then do it, you're not hurting anyone.

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  46. Ive been thinking about a funeral plan too! Will be interested to know what you are going to have, it's bound to be funny. I so agree about the little rewards and loving ourselves. I am planning a tattoo for my 67th birthday, have always wanted one. Betty

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  47. Good for you! not only for the planning but the pottery. I am glad to know it brought joy.

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  48. Hi dear John. I've been missing from the blog world due to the hellish 18 months of my dear husband Bob's cancer. Still fighting, still hoping but it's such a long time-consuming journey for us both. Our second home is the cancer center, fortunately just a 15 minute drive if we can miss the rush hour traffic and red lights!
    I'm so glad I pulled up your post here. Reading stories of what to with our stuff - or just to leave it all for someone else to deal with, has been quite an eye opener. I turned 82 yesterday, too old to downsize much and what the kids/grands don't want for themselves they can get rid of........meanwhile I think I'll just continue to enjoy my collectibles including jugs, tureens, plates, art, books, clothes, shoes etc.
    Hope you are well my dear - all your wonderful readers here also.
    Mary (hope you remember me - from Torquay but here in North Carolina).

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