Fall

 When I went to London recently I fell getting onto a tube on the Northern Line going south .
I blame my dyspraxia, of course, as well as the fact that I was hurrying, as the tube train was about to leave, but one minute I looked like any other commuter.
The next I was sprawled inside the tube with a dozen people looking concerned if not shocked around me.

Suffice to say I got to my feet immediately and as I sat down on the disabled seat, an Italian woman kindly called out “ are you alright?” 
I motioned that I was , but I had sprained my thumb pretty badly and embarrassment dictated that I showed no pain or discomfort. 
I blushed like a school boy 


Falling in public is an intensely humiliating experience. 
It shows your under belly to the world 
And underlines clumsiness, age and size and helplessness

Why do you think I’ve not told you about it until now? 
I’m imploding with shame….

What was funny about all this, was a genuine premonition, 
For when I was walking to the train in Prestatyn , that morning
I suddenly felt as though I was going to fall over that day…..

And later on , I did just that …….


My thumb is still sore btw

57 comments:

  1. Falling over in private is bad enough; falling over in public is humiliating.

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    1. Yes, there is something primeval about it

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  2. Oh, dear. I hope the thumb, and your pride are not too badly damaged. xx

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    1. The concern showed by the Italian lady was sweet

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  3. Ooh... I know how you must have felt. My balance problems mean that I often stumble when out and I cringe with embarrassment. I expect people think I have been on the gin!

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    1. I also think people are innately embarrassed FOR YOU

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  4. Anonymous10:19 am

    Many years ago I was getting on the bus with my mother and dog - a double decker bus. In those days dogs had to go upstairs. My mother suffered badly from rheumatoid arthritis and couldn't manage the stairs, so sat down on the lower deck whilst I went upstairs with Mick. The bus had moved off, the stairs were halfway down the bus (it had two sets of doors) and I took my hand off the rail for the moment and the bus jerked I lost my balance and felt myself falling backwards down the stairs. Let go of Mick's lead so I didn't take him with me, and duly fell down the stairs backwards. I just missed banging my head on the edge of a stair. My mother was having a chicken fit trying to get up (but couldn't because of her R. A) and she thought I'd really hurt myself. I hadn't but because the stairs were curved, my feet were around a slight corner and i couldn't move them, so I was stuck. Anyway a kind lady got up, swivelled my legs around so I was able to stand up, reassure my mother and join Mick up stairs - who had been looking down at me from the top with a 'you've shown me up again 'expression. The bus driver was completely unaware of a thing.

    Some years later it was a damp day and I was about to get off the bus, (a different one) but fell off it instead, had to put my hand out to stop my head hitting the curb. The school children behind me carefully stepped over me and walked off, whilst a number of kind middle aged ladies and a kind gentleman helped me up. Didn't get off scot free this time, tore the muscles in my shoulder and it hurt for months afterwards, I don't have a good relationship with gravity

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    1. Anon, the very fact that you remember the fall so vividly , is an indication of the trauma it gave u

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  5. John, hi. Sorry to hear about your thumb. At least you didn't break your scaphoid. Don't ask. I know what I am talking about. Four times over. Then my son taught me how to roll over my shoulder to avoid impact :) Chance being a fine thing.

    Why is falling over humiliating? Don't get it.

    U

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    1. It is terribly humiliating , innately so…I think it’s primeval …falling over in front of a predator means death to you and possibly your tribe

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  6. Sorry to hear about the fall. It's embarrassing for some reason, I agree, though I'm not sure why, and I hope the thumb gets better soon.

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    1. See my comment to Ursula , I suspect that has something to do with it

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  7. I’ve fallen in public a few times as you might remember, before age was a possible excuse. When asked if I’m hurt, my usual answer is “Just my pride.” A couple of times I lied because I was too embarrassed to admit I WAS hurt. With some of the embarrassing and funny situations you’ve described in your life, this doesn’t even rank. But I do understand. Too bad about the thumb! Also, too bad there was no hunk standing in the open doorway waiting to catch you in his arms. Then the fall might have required much more recovery time.

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    1. One day king Filipe will be there with a beam on his lovely face

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  8. W = hen I tripped over a year ago (just round the corner, returning from the doctor's, no less), breaking my arm + jaw fracture + losing upper front teeth, several people in nearby houses came out and all I heard was "Are you alright?" -and "Eh? I'm asking if you're alright?" - and over and over until I could only answer "NO!" - when what I really most wanted to say was "Look, will you just STFU!!!"
    Not that I'm suggesting you were any 'luckier' - apart from that nasty thumb hurt, the very public, humiliating happenstance of it makes it all so much the worse. My commiserations - 'cos I KNOW!

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    1. Oh Raymondo , I feel for you and that bloody awful fall , your injuries were extensive ..are you still affected now ?

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  9. Falling, is a part of the human condition, sooner or later, most of us fall. When you have those feelings, slow down, take extra care. My father used to say, "never run after a streetcar or a woman, there will be another one along in a minute." My mother hated it when he said that. Heal well our friend.

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    1. I hurried for the tube and my body failed my head xx

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  10. Anonymous12:26 pm

    I’m a faller ! Fell flat on my face over nothing in St John’s Wood one quiet Sunday morning. My twin sister nearly wet herself laughing ! I shot up , so embarrassing

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    1. My dyspraxia means I’ve always been clumsy , lots of semi falls

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  11. Anonymous12:29 pm

    John, are you taking care of your eyes and getting those dreaded shots on schedule? I am so sorry about your fall and your thumb. I have to go again for my eye needles on Monday and am more scared this time, although they didn’t bother me the first time. The doctor was vert skilled and very fast as he does hundreds a day, but still. Hugs, gigi

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    1. Yes my eyesight is deteriorating Gigi , I’m going in next week for another new injection

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  12. I fell flat on my face a couple of weeks ago and was just so thankful that I didn't break anything. I was sore for a couple of weeks, though. Just reminds me to slow down and be more careful. Don't be embarrassed, John. It happens to everyone. Glad you are healing.

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    1. Telling me not to be embarrassed is like pissing against the wind lol

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  13. Krayolakris12:41 pm

    Hope you and your thumb are feeling better. Many of us can relate to your story and empathize. I have essential tremor that’s getting worse with age. It’s embarrassing to me but shouldn’t be.

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  14. I thought that this was going to be a blogpost about autumn leaves and that you, as an Americophile, had rather pretentiously adopted the term "fall". In a way it was nice to learn that you were referring to a literal fall.

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    1. And a crash to earth that shook the rafters

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  15. Standing on the escalator at a London railway station, Waterloo, I think, the gentleman ahead of me fell back. I managed to push him upright but he barely acknowledged me - embarrassment, I suppose. It could have been very nasty if he'd fallen back completely.

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    1. I think people clam up in embarrassed silence , there is a certain trick to cut through the shame

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  16. Anonymous1:13 pm

    I went sprawling face long on grass a few years ago, just tripped over my own feet, I was hugely embarrassed, even though , as far as I know, no one saw me!
    Hope your thumb gets better soon
    Alison in Devon x

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    1. That’s always a bonus when you are on your own

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  17. Anonymous1:55 pm

    It is a bummer to fall. At a busy park, I tripped over a curb and fell flat on my face, with my glasses flying off my face. I was so embarrassed that I quickly got up and walked away like nothing happened, though I had scraped both knees. I had my husband go back to find my glasses… lol. Cali

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    1. Ouch 🙄👓👓👓👓

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  18. My last fall landed me in A&E. I was in the shower (standing in the bath), lost my balance, grabbed the curtain (?), pulled the rail down, then landed head first on tiles. It was a slow-motion, this is it, sort of thing. I try to be very careful now.

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    1. I’ve done that too….this is a universal problem for us older bloggers xx

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  19. There's no such thing as a graceful fall, is there. I'm glad you weren't hurt worse and I hope your sprained thumb feels better soon.

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  20. Yellow Shoes3:19 pm

    I’ve fallen over a couple of times this year walking round our lovely city - for some reason I didn’t feel embarrassed, maybe because it’s Sheffield and worse - and funnier - things happen here on a daily basis.
    Both times I got genuinely friendly “you ok mate?” responses and friendly giggles when they saw I was x

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    1. My psychi couldn’t encorporate an embarrassment free fall

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  21. You could console yourself with the fact that you are still young enough to get up after a fall. I do hope your thumb is recovering.

    Last time I fell over it was because while we were in someone's house it had rained and then frozen. Their back yard was like an ice-rink and I stepped out into it first and completely went 'arse over tit'. Alan and the lady stepped out to try and help me and they were both like Bambi on ice. If I hadn't been in so much pain I would have been laughing hysterically.

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    1. If I was with someone laughter would be my go to

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  22. Barbara Anne3:45 pm

    I hear you and you have extra big hugs from me.
    Last April when our older son was showing us around the house he and DIL had bought, there was one step up from the den into the kitchen, in fact it was a tad extra high because the previous owners had installed a tile floor. Later in the tour, we were back in the kitchen and talking. I stepped backward and fell backward off that step. Ouch and so embarrassing even tho it was just family around. I sprained my left wrist because it slammed into a door facing when out of my control.
    Hope you iced and elevated that thumb.

    Big hugs!

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  23. It IS embarrassing to fall over... whatever age you are... people make assumptions about you as well....
    Look after yourself x

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  24. More important is, why did you fall? Faint, dizzy, low blood pressure, etc [you're the nurse]. A fall alone in the cottage could be dire.
    Did the dyspraxia affect your nursing skills? You seem so excellent and competent--are small motor skills hard, like setting IVs etc?
    I'm glad you carried on and saw Nu, despite the fall.

    love
    lizzy

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    1. Rushing, and eyes not as sharp as they could be ..coupled with natural clumsiness

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  25. Anonymous8:06 pm

    John. I’m so sorry about your fall. I understand and I hate it. Sending love and healing vibes❤️Carol in Atlanta

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  26. Falling onto all fours in front of a couple cars waiting for gas, and in front of people both in- and outside the gas station looking on, was a bit embarrassing, but taught me a lesson I've remembered many times since: Never try to do two things at the same time. It has probably saved me from breaking my neck many times since.
    At a gas station I'd been stepping off a concrete ledge while adjusting new progressive lenses after they'd been pushed onto the top of my head before going indoors to pay for fuel (does your weather fog up your glasses when you step out of it in winter? I assume so). Bad idea.

    Now, I catch myself peering around while descending into the basement or any other set of stairs, and quickly remember the lesson that could've been a lot harder than it was: Pay attention, girl, and watch where you're going. Could've broken a hip, cracked my head open ... so I got lucky, and so did you.

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  27. Joanne8:42 pm

    I’m clumsy and fall a lot and as I get older (I think we’re the same age) it takes absolutely ages to heal the array of minor injuries.

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  28. Anonymous9:07 pm

    Squire John , when we meet in Docks 3rd avenue , you will be allowed a fall on 42nd street , after my 5 dirty martinis x

    Lee

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  29. When I last went with the prof , I couldn’t get off my chair

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  30. I bent over to pick up something in my kitchen awhile back and couldn't get back up. Fortunately, my front door was unlocked, my new nextdoor neighbor is a paramedic, and he answered my phone call. He came over and after ascertaining that I hadn't fallen or injured myself, he had me back on my feet in about 5 seconds! His wife is a physician's assistant so I have all my bases covered!

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